Category: goals

Take a Break

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When we are pushing against an obstacle – physical or mental – we feel as if we are either pushing through or failing to push through. If instead we look to our obstacle as a resting point. We lean against the boulder instead of insisting on pushing we see there are other options. Take a break and see what you observe.

Relaxing into resistance frees you to see the full picture. In anger our attention is focused and limited When we feel threatened we are in fight, flight, or freeze mode. We operate on a very small data set, not seeing the full picture. We only see our escape routes, or the lack thereof. When we relax into our resistance – whatever it may be it allows us to see a fuller range of options. 

It is Sisyphus in Greek mythology that was doomed by the Gods to push the same boulder uphill again and again. Each day pushing forward on the same rock on the same hill, only to see the boulder fall again to the bottom every time he got close to the top. He did not even have the pleasure of new hills where he could at least see progress. The meaning of our work is tied not only to its completion but to the feeling that we have contributed in some meaningful way. Even if the lesson is only through the example of our failure. 

As human beings we are inspired by purpose and the meaning of our contributions. When we fight our obstacles instead of learning from them we fail to contribute. Could it be time to take a break? Could we walk around the obstacle instead? There is something meaningful to be found within the things we resist. Resistance and obstacles exist to teach us something. It is our responsibility to figure out what.

Maybe our task is to forge a new path or look in a new direction. We cannot know until we relax against the obstacle and stop fighting it. Releasing anger or frustration frees us to see new  avenues and opportunities. The resistance is not the problem but rather our emotional reactions to resistance are the problem. When we focus on the frustration or anger we are missing the lesson. The key is not push harder it is instead to rest, look around. Observe what gift this situation trying to give you and how can you learn that lesson and move forward? 

Accept the lesson, free yourself from the stress of the situation, and embrace what comes next. We make the meaning in our own lives. Let us not waste energy resisting the lessons along the way. How can you relax into your resistance? Take a break. I wish you peace, joy, and the pleasure of giving up on anger.

Mid-Year Review

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We’re at the half-way point in the year and it’s time to pull out our vision boards again. I like to do this mid-year review around Christmas in July because it gives me a refresh. I get to remind myself of my goals and see if they still align with where I’m headed. If not, it’s time to purge.

I don’t like to get rid of the ideas that I thought enough of to save and stick to my board. So, today I want to share what I do with those plans. When I find an idea on my vision board that no longer speaks to me I take it down. If the image or words no longer resonate with me I recycle them. Once I accomplish a goal I add it to my accomplishments journal. If I like the idea but am no longer tied as strongly to its outcome I take the image down. I then add those images to my journal.

My journals are like scrap books. I use them as notebooks, diaries, and travel logs. When I’m feeling particularly excited I write for pages. When I am trying to figure out how I feel or if I’m angry and need to process emotions, I write them out. Therefore the journals aren’t chronological and in fact they become time capsules of a small portion of my life. 

I prefer composition notebooks, I also prefer them college ruled. I put stickers, inspirational quotes, and magazine clippings inside of them. These include items from my tri-fold vision board. I add them to the notebook to remind me of where I thought I was heading but maybe didn’t end up. This process is cathartic because I’m freeing space on my vision board.

The empty space on the vision board in the second half of the year gives me room to imagine what comes next. The freedom of the empty board allows my imagination to wander, which is exactly what I want it to do as we lead up to the holidays. I want room to breathe. It is better to have fewer expectations as I work towards cramming in all of the joy, fun, and progress I can possibly smush into my life before the new year comes. In six month it will be time to strategize what comes next on this fantastic journey.

In the second half of the year I wish you tons of free space and time for imagination, old friends, and good wine. I hope you find some things that speak deeply to you and  others that you can simply set free. As we complete our mid-year review I hope you give yourself the freedom to clear some space. Remember you don’t have to accomplish everything in a single day and not even in a single year. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed – it is not an accomplishment it is a journey. I hope you savor it!

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Life Goals

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When we intentionally do things that bring us joy simply because they bring us joy our perspective shifts. The emails organize themselves. I find that saying, “no,” to some things is actually liberating. It frees me from taking on more than I can manage. It opens space for me to invest time in those things that bring me joy and fulfillment. Those are my true life goals.

There’s an interesting analogy that is attributed to various thinkers, investors, etc. most often Warren Buffett. The guidance is as follows:

  1. Create a list of all you want to do in life.
  2. Rank the items on your list. 
  3. Once you have ranked all the things that interest you or that you think you might like to do highlight your top five. 
  4. Keep the top five. 
  5. Forget about the rest.

The belief is that we can accomplish anything but we can’t accomplish everything. Items six and beyond are just tempting enough to distract us from our main goals. By eliminating them we focus our attention on our true goals. This not only makes sense but will create more space and time for those things that serve us. It prevents scope creep. 

My only suggestion is to be sure some of those top five life goals include savoring the good life. If you’re not doing the small things that bring you joy you may accomplish a great deal. But you will always be chasing more. Be intentional with your time and choose you first, always. Make a good life not just good goals.

Choose Your Own Adventure

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As life unfolds around us, one spectacular moment to the next. It is easy to forget that life is a choose your own adventure. The predictable norms, the everyday dramas may constrain us with their familiarity. We become trapped in routine or feel trapped by the very goals we once felt ourselves striving towards. But much like pushing on a door that refuses to budge, terrified we’ll never escape the monotony. Like a haunted house, all it takes is a birds eye view to notice the door pulls open. We had the power all along and we only needed to take a step back to see it.

Feeling closed off from opportunities can be suffocating. But none of us has to feel that way. Take a few deep breaths, step away from the situation, and look at the big picture. When we feel locked into a situation we are operating in flight, fight, or freeze. Our instinctual focus on survival limits our perception to only the immediate future and what is imminently necessary for survival. The very strength that helps us see a path through the woods to safety in order to avoid a predator can be a weakness in our modern lives. Because when we relax and step back we can see a variety of pathways out or through whatever obstacles we are facing. 

Rest and recovery not only sustain us to go further they also give us the presence of mind to see all of the options and opportunities that surround us. There is not only one path, there are many. And much  like eagles in flight, our vision is not just of the trees ahead of us but of the entire forrest. Eagles do not flap their wings so much as glide. Riding air currents high above they are able to see further. When we take a long range view we do not need to work as hard. Like eagles we can work smarter, allowing the air currents to lift us above the daily discourse and into the larger picture. 

When we’re looking down from above we see the best path not just an immediate escape. We are no longer pushing ourselves to exhaustion. We are riding the waves and able to formulate a plan. It is both freeing and elating to see the bigger picture. So if your life is feeling more like a haunted house or as if you are trapped, instead of letting the monotony drag you down remember you have the option to rise above. You can take a step back to see what comes next for you. The next path or adventure you choose pick intentionally for yourself. 

Limited Time + Attention

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I’m usually one of those people who mulls things over. I hold on until the event has past, the email is outdated, or I have to make a collection of quick decisions. The intention is there to read it all, participate in every event and opportunity. I am all in for kayaking, book clubs, and retreats. Sign me up! Except when I’m not into it, which as someone who is primarily introverted and really likes her alone time and personal space, is much more frequent than my joiner inclinations are willing to accept. When I do join an event it takes me a significant amount of time before I’m ready to dive back into the social scene. And while I don’t attend everything I’m invited to participate in – I still want the right of first refusal. Include me – yes! Depend on my presence – no thank you.

I’m reading a book about the brevity of life. It talks about all of our inclinations and machinations to “Save time.” The, “time savers,” and “quick tricks,” to empty your inbox or create space in your day. It turns out a lot of these ‘solutions,’ fail because when you send an email you increase your likelihood of getting more emails in return. You have not cleared your inbox after all. You’ve just heightened the expectation for the rapidity of your responses.

Typically, when we free up time in our days by using the washing machine, the dryer, etc. we don’t get that time back and use it for our own goals. Instead we pop over to Pinterest or open Architectural Digest and determine that now it’s time to remodel. We heighten the expectation for what cleanliness, order, and tidiness look like. Now, it’s not ok to simply have a spice rack – we must take every item out of its original packaging and place it in our own personalized containers that we label ourselves so as to match the professional organizer’s images on social media. 

We don’t get that time back and that’s the big takeaway for me. If we keep pressing ourselves to be more productive, to hustle, or accomplish we’re never going to be satiated. Because there’s always more stuff to purchase, events to join, or opportunities to get involved. What it comes down to is hard choices. Do we want to travel the hour to family dinner on Sunday or would we like to mow the lawn? Do we do neither, either, all? That’s up to us. The most important detail is to look inward and determine what we really want. What do I need most? Do I crave the connection with family? Do I have guests coming over and part of what makes me feel comfortable is my lawn looking well cared for? These are hard choices and we can make them. Or put them off until the opportunity has passed. Either way, we’ve made a choice.

Instead let’s focus on what we want and need most in life. Stop trying to control our time. Simply follow the ebbs and flows. If we have thank you notes to write, sit down and write them rather than staring at emails all afternoon willing them to disappear. Even the concept of using time wisely is a modern invention. Time is not meant to be used. We don’t have a set number of years – some of us may be lucky enough to get more than 100, others might not make it out of their twenties. So please, do what brings you joy. Do the things that set your heart on fire. We can’t possibly attend every event or please every person – we can only please ourselves. Do the stuff that fills your cup, if you sprinkle in something else remember that it is bonus. And be fully present for the good things that you choose to do. If it is mowing the lawn – enjoy the long walk outside. And if you can take in the sunset.

Spring Forward

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As we enter the new and fresh season of spring I am inspired a new. My energy is refreshed by the buds on the trees and hints of green arriving each morning. I myself am feeling renewed and eager to spring forward. After the winter month’s of reflection and rest, I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of spring. We had fresh and warm days this past weekend and their sunlight and beauty brought me back to myself. 

All winter it has been a challenge for me to motivate myself to get out into the weather. I have not wanted go for a walk or even skiing which usually brings me joy. Nothing was able to tempt me from the coziness of the fire, the comfort of a good book, and the warmth of my family room. I felt no desire to see other people or to adventure further than the rooms in my home. I have felt the need to hibernate. While that conservation of energy has been nourishing, the break in the weather has me eager to burn that fuel. I am ready to get out into the elements.

The delight of birdsong, the simple comfort of warmer temperatures brings joy. The inspiration of watching nature put on her finest has me eager to dress up my own home. I am excited to see what this new season brings and I am eager to share all that I have been reflecting on and learning. 

My seasonal hibernation has been full of reflection, contemplation, and the simple acts of unearthing the wisdom kept within myself. The knowledge of generations held deep in my bones and DNA. The very essence of life and my connection to the divine. I am hopeful that like a bird taking flight I will be able to delight in this new season. As we spring forward my plan is to share what I have unearthed and blossom where I am planted. I am eager to share and see what we have learned together.

What have you been working on this winter? Do you feel ready to share? Do you still need time to reflect and create privately before you share your art with the world?

Collecting Inspiration

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Throughout the year, I collect inspiration from cutouts and images in magazines. They keep me focused on what I am working toward. The pieces I really love get mounted on my vision board.

I often find when I sit down to organize these bits of inspiration at the end of the year many of them no longer speak to me. Their influence was brief and fleeting. I recycle the images and articles that no longer appeal to me. 

The pieces I like but don’t need to see every day are glued or taped into journals. This way the quotes and images I have collected continue to inspire me. But the big and important, still rock me to my core, pieces are posted on my vision board.

My vision board keeps me on task. The board stays out until I have my path memorized by heart. I carry it with me in my memory and then only pull out the board sporadically when I need a reminder.

I collect inspiration almost constantly but the vision board is revisited only twice annually. Once at the end of the year and early January when it is being created. The second time I open it is for Christmas in July or the year’s midpoint to consider and check my progress. It is incredible how these ideas that were once thoughts in my head become reality. To see those concepts I once imagined integrated into my lifestyle feels complete. 

How do you manifest your best life? What tools do you use to stay on task?

Follow Your Own Path

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I have been thinking lately about following your path by only accepting into our lives that which resonates. Honoring ourselves by focusing our energy on experiences that feel like joy, happiness, peace, and love helps us to follow our path. There are some simple steps that we can take to amplify these experiences in our lives.

Listening to the Universe + Your Inner Voice

I start by paying attention to the messages the universe is sending me. If you’re having trouble hearing what the universe has to say, try subtracting distractions until something clicks. A guided meditation or breathing exercise can be enough to free your attention to hear your own thoughts. 

Take One Small Step

My next move is to just take one tiny step forward. Maybe it’s folding a blanket or getting dressed, painting something small or just writing out a few words. Just try whatever feels right or you are inspired to do that gets your momentum moving. You’ve listened to the universe, heard what it’s saying, and now you’ve acted on it. These are small but powerful movements towards our own happiness.

Do the Next Right Thing

After that momentum is initiated just do whatever feels right next. I don’t have a formula or strategy beyond that. Of course, the next right thing may be to create a five year plan but it’s also just as likely the next right thing is to clear out your inbox, each of those options is valid and necessary. 

Basically, what matters is that you’re moving toward your own path and inspiration. Our job is not to do everything at once, or to race someone else to the finish line. You are allowed to take your time. When your moment arrives you will be ready. Choosing what resonates with us makes sure we are only welcoming experiences, people and situations that serve us on our journey. While it sounds simple to follow your path is the most challenging and fulfilling work we do in life. We all bloom at the exact right time for us.

Investing Time Wisely

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How to make Your Agenda your first priority and why it’s important.

At the beginning of any new year I like to take inventory. I go through the accomplishments of the previous year and create a list of all of the things I have done – new certifications, courses, or trainings. As I collected together this list today I realized – in life we move closer toward what we make time for. And I want to be sure I’m investing my time wisely.

At the beginning of the year it is fun to set intentions or write out resolutions. However, any project that I devote time and energy towards I will get better at and I will improve upon. At the beginning of the year I have the opportunity to choose where I allocate my time. If I take trainings in website design or pottery I will get better at those things. Therefore it is important to decide what I am working towards. 

Delight in the Detours

I am not advocating for a military style adherence to duty. Detours and often they delight and surprise us more than just following a very regimented path. I am suggesting that if we don’t take control of our own time, obligations will fill our days. 

If you don’t choose good books to read you will likely end up scrolling on your phone. If you don’t register for creative classes, or schedule a vacation that time will pass anyway. The only difference between being where you are now and where you want to be is your ability to invest in making your dreams happen. 

Parables

There’s an old story about a woman who wanted to get her law degree. She tells her friend, “I want to go to school but it takes so long and by the time I’m done I’ll be 45, I don’t think I should do it.” Her friend says, “In four years you will still be 45. Do you want to be a lawyer then or not?” Time will pass with or without our approval – how we fill it is up to us.

I hope you choose to spend your time on activities that bring you joy. Remember the only way to go in the direction you want is to intentionally take the path that leads there. 

Facing Challenges

We inevitably face challenges and hurdles – some plans may be delayed. Or you might miss opportunities because something else is more important and that is ok. The goal is not to plan out every moment or control every situation. The goal is remember that you have power over your time – it is the most valuable and limited resource we have in life. 

Choose Your Path

Choose how you wish to spend your time – if it’s law school, or a nail technicians course, or pottery class. Don’t leave the course of your life to someone else’s control because chances are they will steer you where they want to go, not where you would like to be. If you have a partner or a family, coordinate plans so that as you’re moving ahead your traveling together. It helps to have friendly faces to share the journey. Growing together with people you like and admire does not happen by accident, it happens by intention. Fortunately, the power lies within each of us.

I wish you courage and fun on the new year’s plans. Register for that pottery class, or finally decide to finish or start that degree. I hope you find the path that leads where you want to go because that is always the path to success. Love and hugs friends. I wish you well.

What journeys are you beginning this year and what steps are you taking to make them happen? I’m taking a writing class!

Writing Revolutions

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As we enter into another year I am thinking less about the new resolutions I will make and more about the things I am resolved to not carry with me any longer. In order to make space in my life for abundance, joy, and love in the year to come I need to begin writing revolutions. This includes letting go of those things that are no longer meant for me. Releasing all that no longer supports and nourishes me and freeing myself from the obligations and burdens of the past in order to walk more confidently into my future.

For me this looks like releasing obligations made by a past version of myself. I started my writing revolution (I meant to type resolution here but I think the universe knows what I’m talking about so I am going to leave it – revolutions I shall have!). My process includes going through the previous year’s writings. I look for what goals I write and what dreams I still have on my list to achieve. There are two parts to this exercise and I missed one of them. I found my goals and dreams. I forgot to highlight the accomplishments and big steps I have taken forward. And therefore without the support of those accomplishments buttressing my dreams it felt as if my list of duties and obligations only grew while my progress remained stagnant. 

Logically, I know that I have just as many accomplishments as goals. But when confronted with multiple pages of work to be done and little to nothing on the list of accomplishments I felt rather defeated. And instead of coming into the new year refreshed, revived, and proud – I held back. I refrained from writing anything new simply because I did not have the energy to begin.

Therefore, rather than feeling defeated, I am embracing this teachable moment. I am releasing myself from those obligations. Yes, they were the dreams of a woman in the last year and some of them I will delight in achieving. But I am also allowed to release them to the universe. This choice frees me to move on to those things that are truly meant for me. I am setting myself free from the burden of accomplishing any more goals.

I may go back through the journals I have kept over the last year and highlight my accomplishments later. That process may lift my spirits and remind me of all that I have done in 2022. By the end of the year it’s easy to forget all I have done and experienced. Fortunately, keeping a daily journal and calendar helps me to keep track of these details. If you would like to join me in journaling daily – I write more about it here. Even without that reference point it is wonderful to feel as if I can still move forward with ease. 

I have done new things and challenged myself – I just don’t have a nice list organized. And I am done with carrying the load of that obligation forward. Instead, I will begin the new year with a fresh start and a clean slate. I will not burden myself with the work of a previous year. I will grant myself the grace and joy that only freedom from obligation can bring. This frees me to celebrate where I am and all that I have done (whatever that is). It brings me forward into a new day with joy, patience, forgiveness and grace. What a beautiful gift of a new day, in a new year, with nothing holding me back!

Do you journal or track your progress throughout the year? What tools do you use and do you find them truly helpful? What writing revolutions will you start this year?