Dream Life

New Year’s resolutions and magazine covers are littered with promises of a, “dream life.” But even as I read these headlines I am struck by happiness. I feel deeply satisfied to be exactly where I am. This is a powerful realization. As we’re caring for and healing ourselves the goal does not have to be change. The end result need not be something different. Our dream life may be the life we are living right now, exactly as it is.

Each of us is perfect already. As we are and where we are right now is enough. We don’t need to work on ourselves or modify our habits to fit into the world or to be worthy of love or life. There is a hilarious quote, “Before you go and change yourself check and see if you are in fact surrounded by assholes.” Sometimes we are perfect and it is only our environment that requires adjustment. Or maybe just our perspectives. We are, each of us, unique and divinely made. Our purpose cannot be known until it is time. And everything arrives at its appointed time. You are already whole and perfect.

If you need permission to love yourself exactly as you are right now – with no edits or changes – you have it. You have my unwavering love and support to embrace yourself exactly as you are and exactly where you are. I wouldn’t change anything, unless you want to. And really even if you only aspire to change but you never quite get there that’s completely ok. You are perfect here and now. 

If you’re spending time in places, or with people, who do not make you feel loved it may be time to switch that environment. Move to spaces where you are celebrated and appreciated. Let’s never change unless we want to. There is no other, “dream life.” You’re loved right now. You’re wonderful right now. And I can see it, I hope you do too. Your life is wonderful and any difficulties are only temporary. You’ve got this. I believe in you.

Fall Contentment and Cookery

As the leaves begin to turn and the air takes on a bittersweet tinge of coolness I find myself called to comfort, hygge, reflection, and gratitude. Instead of rushing towards whatever comes next or pursuing or manifesting, or doing any of the things that are future based, this time of year brings me uniquely to where I am now. A Nancy Myers, Norah Ephron, dreamscape comes to mind. I am not interested in pursuing something else. Focused on contentment – I appreciate all I have and my gratitude to be here in this moment.

I recently read “The Monkey’s Paw,” a haunting short story by W.W. Wells. A friend mentioned it in conversation as required high school reading – not in my high school! So I promptly requested the book from the library. The book found its way into my hands just in time for the haunting pre-Halloween season. I read the short story with relish and it’s message rings true – to be grateful and happy for all we have rather than pushing for even more. 

To be clear, this is NOT an excuse to stay in a crummy job or unhealthy relationship. I am only suggesting that sometimes we forget the greatness of the moment by always looking to the future. My in-laws recently delivered an abundance of late season tomatoes to my doorstep. When I say abundance, think bankers box full of romas! I spent an entire day in the kitchen, roasting tomatoes and drying herbs, baking zucchini bread and generally preparing for the months ahead. 

In fall I love to bake and cook. I made tomato soup from scratch, Swedish meatballs, and merengues. When one recipe calls for an egg yolk, it is only appropriate to use the other half of the egg for cookies. I wear my great grandmother’s apron and invite my children into the kitchen to help. We listen to music and dance in the kitchen. The taste of a good batch of soup, the gratitude I feel that my partner does the dishes while I wipe down the counters is magic. 

This ritual is as healing as it is healthful. I get to be cozy in my kitchen, preparing meals that nourish and satisfy our family’s needs. The easier the better! When the meal is complete and we only need heat it up I feel as if I have given a true gift to my future self. 

Therefore as we welcome the new season and begin the process of creating hygge in our homes, hunkering down for the long winter months. I am celebrating the harvest and delighting in the abundance of our garden. Filling our freezer with delicious homemade meals that will make us feel rich, happy, and well fed. I prepare recipes that remind me of my own childhood. Those traditions ground me. This season will bring everything I need and more. I am not looking for anything additional – I am simply savoring all that I have. I do not need any wishes or a magical talisman, I have everything I need right here. And if you were to look around, I suspect you do too! 

Art Show

This weekend I participated in my second art show. This exhibition was a juried show with a tenured track record – they’ve hosted this event for nearly 40 years! I was so delighted to participate in the event and learn more about the community it serves. There were nearly 8,000 guests and attendees that made their way past my booth and many popped by to visit, say, hello, and make some purchases in the hot August sun. 

That’s another note – the days were sweltering. We had the tent but no electricity – so no fans or air conditioning. My deepest and sincerest gratitude goes to the amazing friends, family, and fans who made the trip out to the event! It absolutely filled my heart to see some littles who not only remembered and still loved my art – but also remembered me and their fresh sprigs of mint. I’ve taken to sharing sprigs of mint from my garden with the youngest attendees. When you’re shopping at an outdoor venue the day can be long and honestly who doesn’t like a little treat?

Kids and creatives are my favorite art show customers. Children know what they like, there is no effort to impress or appeal to someone else. When have you ever held a conversation with another adult about your third favorite dinosaur? It’s as if we grow up and forget what is truly relevant. Seeing the joy in my littlest fans fills me up. I love sitting down on the ground and connecting with kiddos and learning what they notice about the art they are viewing. I even keep hand sanitizer in the booth so that they can feel the artwork and enjoy the sensory experience of the piece as well as its visual appeal. 

Talking with kiddos about art brings me true joy. I also love pets! Meeting so many fluffy friends at the show was a pure delight. I met fluff-balls Teddy and Layla – who brought me to my knees as the song goes. Her owner proudly explained the song was the inspiration for her title. It was so comforting and delightful to have fuzzy company to break up the day. Next time I will bring a little doggy bowl with cool water for my furriest guests to enjoy. I am also thinking about suckers – because even the bank hands out treats. I may have to think about a cool way to tie the treat back to my art and keep it from melting or making curious hands too sticky! 

All that said, I learned a lot. I learned the simple joy of sitting out in hot weather with a good book. I appreciate fully the gift of guests to keep my spirits lifted. Displaying art publicly is a humbling and vulnerable experience. It is intimidating and who you have beside you makes a real difference. My plan is to make sure I continue to surround myself with people who lift me up and encourage me to blaze my own trail, stay true to myself, and believe in my own capabilities. That is a real gift – especially when in the heat of the day (96 degrees by my calculations – in Ohio for Lord’s sake!) traffic slows down and you’re left with only the parameters of being present and still, waiting for what is next to come. Sometimes a little distraction can be a real lifesaver.

Speaking of lifesavers I cannot thank my husband or cousin enough for popping in and out on both days, setting up the tent and carrying all of my supplies back and forth. It is an absolute dream to share this process and experiences with my family. To let my kids see me trying, failing or succeeding, I have taught them a valuable lesson about showing up. And my partner has taught them about showing up for those we care about. Our examples are molding the people they will become. Their examples are also molding us. My favorite being my son making fast friends. No sooner had I struck up a conversation with the child’s mother than they were laughing, running around, and playing tag together. It’s that easy to make a friend. I’m so glad to have the openhearted lovingness of children, as my guide to relate to others. 

I’m proud of me. Proud of my art. Proud of the art show and the strength and turpitude it took to get to this point. I am sticking with this craft and I am grateful to myself for staying the course. This is not an easy path but it is a joyful one. And as I consider textiles – fabric design, wallpaper, draperies, etc. I am eager and excited for what comes next on this creative journey. I am growing and learning more each and every day. And even when it’s hot and I am doing it for myself and I am proud of me. I did it! 

Christmas Reflections

In preparing for Christmas and this New Year – I have been so focused on where I want to be, my goals and aspirations, that I haven’t appreciated that where I am is pretty amazing. This time of year always inspires Christmas reflections and gratitude. Everything I have this year was once a dream, everything from writing this note, to where I am physically. I feel a debt of gratitude and recognition of what we have been able to build in the last twelve months. We have accomplished a lot this year. But before rushing to list those things I want to be present. Being here in whatever this suspended time of the year is for all of us.

The time and space after the build up to Christmas, the lull, and almost comatose vegging out of the week between Christmas and New Years. There is no need to purchase anything, we are dining on left-overs. We are hungover from all of the traditional social interactions and family gossip. Thinking about the year to come or not thinking at all. Watching too many Hallmark movies and just being still. What an absolute gift to ourselves. It is a joy to be able to rest and to feel no obligation to instruct, guide, or lead. We are simply present and maybe only vaguely aware – the days blend together and all of it melds peacefully into one restive blob. 

This year I am grateful for our first year in our new home, I’m grateful for health, and I’m grateful for rest. I’m grateful that my family is here around me. I’m grateful we have each other and that we are able to celebrate the holidays together. Grateful for quiet afternoons, naps, and ease. I am grateful to myself for taking this time and not pressuring myself to be productive. 

I am so grateful for relaxing family nights and the joy of sharing a family meal. I am glad for what we have and what we share. Every night this week we have prepared a meal from scratch. Some meals are more ornate and involved than others. But most are simple family recipes that are our own traditions. “Oh Christmas Bahn Mi,” and Grandma’s Chicken Parmesan.

These are delicious and filling meals that not only satisfy our need for dinner but will also make enough to freeze. This is a gift we give ourselves. Before we are in that zone of too much presents, food, and dessert we cook. That way when all we are seeking is a Christmas carrot – there will still be food prepared that requires no effort. We simply warm it up and we are nourished and satisfied. What a gift this time is to rest, relax and deeply nourish ourselves and our families. 

We often spoil each other with gifts and treats. When really, the gift we all want is to watch an old movie, to rest and relax together. We want to be our honest and unguarded selves. Our only goal is to luxuriate in the slower pace and feel no obligation to rush, attend to, or show up for anyone or anything else. Just to simply be peaceful, easy, and home. 

And maybe that’s what I’m writing about after all. These Christmas reflections are about finding home where ever we are and with whomever we choose. The creation of safety, peace, and security. The gift of protection, honesty, new traditions and old melding into the creation of home. We are grateful for building a life and space where everyone is loved and accepted exactly as they are and loved.

We are all so deeply loved and I don’t know what to call it. This may not even have a name but it feels safe, cozy, hygge, health, love, warmth, ease, peace, and tenderness. Whatever the German word for this is, I feel it deep in my soul. I am content and I am happy. This is all I’ve been looking for all my life, and here I have it. More than anything I hope you do too. Here in this virtual living room I hope you feel it. You are all so welcome here, I love you, I’m glad you came, let’s watch another movie.

4 Steps to Progress

Today, we come to the end of our second year of Meanings with MK. I am deeply humbled to be here. Honored to be on the edge of another year and to have the opportunity to look back and reflect on how far we have come. And I am forever grateful to be undertaking this journey will all of you. Time will pass but growth is optional. The steps to progress below will help as you continue on this journey.

Progress is challenging but also worth it. As Neil Gaimen has said, “That which we attain without effort we cannot possibly value.” Remembering where we started gives deeper value to where we are now. Each of us has made sacrifices and choices to improve our lives and grow. There are some steps to progress that are etched onto our hearts. They have transformed our lives for the better. In honor of this second year, I’d like to share them with you.

These are also topics I’ve written on over the past couple years and so I have linked to the how-to posts as well. I hope they serve you.

Meditation

I meditate for, at least, 20 minutes a day. It is a small chunk of time but the difference it makes in my mood, my energy, and my writing is miraculous. The meditations I use are always shifting and changing depending on my mood and circumstances but I show up every day and always feel better when it is done. I write more on meditation here.

Morning pages

I write three pages, stream of consciousness, every morning. Even before I write this blog, I have already written three pages and that feels incredible. It is in keeping with the teachings of Julia Cameron and I could not recommend more highly this simple exercise of starting your day by dumping all of the rogue and random, complaints, worries, joys, and fears onto the page. Just purging all of the chatter in my mind first thing gives me perspective, insight, and the ability to start my day fresh and unburdened. – Also, you can always edit something written but you cannot edit a blank page.

Boundaries

Setting my own and respecting the boundaries of others has opened me up to so much deeper connection and honest interaction. My relationships and my life are better for the boundaries and mutual respect required to uphold them.

Goal Setting

Taking two steps every week towards accomplishing a goal. Whatever my goal is I practice taking small steps toward it. My dogged pursuit of my goals is not done without challenge or obstacles but it is done with persistence. It’s easy to see a large dream and think, “I’ll never get there,” or, “If I fail at this I’m done.” Instead I see failure as a lesson, something I can use to help me grow. I am patient but relentless in my pursuit of my goals.

This blog and the lessons I share with you are all things that I have learned along the way. Many of them are hard-won. And many of you perhaps have learned on your own journeys. For me, writing out what I have learned reminds me of the lesson. I hope reading these notes reaffirms the message and your own commitment to yourself and to your path. 

I hope you find something here to carry with you and help you on your journey. I’m grateful to you for reading. Your being here brings this work full circle. The only way we every truly learn something is when we are able to teach it to someone else. Thank you for helping me to grow and to learn. Thank you for being here. I celebrate how far we have come together to get to this point.

What three things are you most proud of yourself for learning? What steps to progress work best for you?

Staying Grounded in Gratitude

Today is a cold and blustery day. A couple days ago we were savoring the sun and letting it pour into the windows and shine on our faces. Today we are bundled up and seeking out home improvements. Usually in the summer it is the landscaping and the yard that gets most of our attention. When it is unseasonably and unexpectedly cool we start updating the interior of our home. This weekend we will be stripping our closet and taking out the current organization system – a couple of rods and shelves. And while this is progress, it is not lying on the beach. That said, I try to stay grateful for where I am in this moment. Everything I have was once a much longed for dream. While I do have hopes that go beyond this project, I am firmly grounded in gratitude to be here now.

This week has been full of dramatic rises and falls in the family mood and energy, just like the weather. Fortunately we are feeling more at ease. New opportunities and exciting prospects are leveling out. We are not down but we are calm and we stay grounded in gratitude. A friend once described life like a wave. The goal is not to be either riding the crest or in the hallow feeling depressed. The goal in wave riding life is to find comfort in the middle and seek balance. It’s a good idea to stay in humility and humbleness because either you are in gratitude or the universe is on its way to remind you to be.

As I release my second novel – Treading Water July 2022 – I am humbled by all of the hard work and dedication that went into this book. The novel is one that I have read, re-read, edited, and thought through exhaustively for five years. It is ready to launch. I am so hopeful to see the lives that it will touch and how it will reshape the world with its existence. I am eager to hear your thoughts on it too!

But even as I get excited I am staying grounded in gratitude that I have made it this far. I am grateful that I get to write books and that the tools exist so that I can create them on my own terms. It is a joy and an honor that readers let my words into their lives. To choose to invest your time and energy in reading something I have created is a privilege I do not take for granted. When you look at or choose a piece of art I have painted for your own collection, it thrills me. I can’t imagine what you will see, read, or take away from the art I create. It is a joy and an honor to be a part of that process. I am truly grateful that I get to do this work. 

On this windy and chilly day I hope you’ll take the time to do whatever comes next for you. If it’s some small home projects, a gratitude exercise, or simply cuddling up with a good book. I hope wherever you are you feel fortunate and grateful for all of the wonderful gifts you enjoy. I know I am grateful for you.

What dreams have you seen blossom in your own life? What are you most grateful for today?

5 Steps to Generate Momentum in Your Creativity

As I clear out space and complete tasks that have long been on my list it sometimes feels like trying to drink from a firehose. There are so many projects that I have long awaited making progress on that I am now feeling as if a dam has burst and it flowing fast and furiously. As I feel myself taking steps toward accomplishing my goals I am also trying not to get ahead of myself or rush. 

It’s a balancing act to both pursue my goals but also to take my time. I remind myself not to expect everything to be finished right away. Lunch and showers and the regular activities of life still need to happen every day. Therefore, instead of feeling disappointed that I have not done, “more,” I am going to stay in the joyful space of gratitude. I am grateful to myself for all I have done over the last several days. Rather than feel disappointed that I did not do more I am going to feel grateful for my patience and will hold myself in gratitude as I continue to move forward. 

Humility + Gratitude

Life has a way of humbling us when we rush too quickly or stay still. Staying in gratitude is one way to counteract the arrogance that can arise when we feel particularly proud of ourselves. Gratitude also prevents us from standing still. When we have so much to be grateful for we want to share that gift.

When I am not in gratitude I freeze – unsure of what to do next. I feel frustrated when I can’t decide where to begin. I “strategize,” which is another way of saying overthinking my every move. It has been incredibly freeing to simply take small steps forward. Lately I have been able to do just that. It is elevating my mood and my disposition. It’s an interesting shift from the obstructive and frozen place I was in before this watershed moment.

Small Steps Create Momentum

As I make gentle progress I am also striving to stay grounded. I know that I can do many things but I cannot do all things. I will move ahead but I will never be, “done.” I may step forward and then need to recalibrate to decide what comes next and that is all ok. Patience is appropriate and necessary to my progress and my growth. 

Affirmations

When I am shifting away from overthinking it helps to state some clear affirmations. These reminders help me to focus and realign. Here are some of the mantras I use to ground myself: I am doing the work I was put upon this planet to complete. I am following my intuition and being attentive to my own desires, wants and needs. I am sitting in the sun rather than watching it trace a  path across the floor. I am showing up for myself and for my own life. I am doing what I was destined and designed to do. I am allowing the Creator to express their creativity through me. I am making myself an instrument for even greater creativity and to allow the energy that inspires me to flow through me and my work so that someone else may feel and experience the sensations I am feeling right now. 

Sharing to Complete the Cycle

It is uplifting and humbling at the same time to know that my showing up and allowing myself to follow my path is only part of my work’s journey. I am creating art, organizing words, and allowing this sacred and universal energy to flow through me. And this energy will move through me and my work to inspire others – like you dear reader. 

This is just the beginning, or perhaps even the middle, as I have been inspired by countless artists and visionaries. It’s hard to say where this creative force began. Perhaps it is more like a circle, it never begins or ends but keeps going. Creativity is a self-fulfilling journey of shared and complicit co-creation throughout the universe and throughout all time. How wonderful to be a tiny piece of this universal journey. It is a gift to be a piece of the ever changing landscape of creativity. It feels so simple and simultaneously transformative. It is an incredible honor to be fulfilling my purpose in this way. 

Have you ever felt so deeply connected to universal energy and to what your true purpose is in life? Isn’t it awesome? I am humbled and deeply touched to be a part of this creative cycle. This cyclone of creation and creativity. Thank you for reading and for sharing this creative journey with me.

Being Where We Are

Today I am thinking with gratitude about where I am in this moment. This feeling is not about where I’m going or about how far I have come. It is about being fully present exactly where I am right now. How, even if I accomplish nothing else today or even in this life, if all I do is continue on the path I am currently walking, that will be enough. I already am enough. You are already enough.

There’s a lot of convoluted and conflicting messaging out there about how having value or being our, “best selves” includes the pursuit of goals or the manifestation of a dream life. And yes, even here I talk about using those tools if you’re interested growing, learning, or striving for something different for yourself. But I’d like to take a minute to reaffirm the message that all of those decisions and opportunities are optional. They are not necessary for you to be whole or happy. They are not necessary to living a deep and rich life full of meaning and connection. All we ever need is to offer ourselves our own unconditional love – not because we accomplished a goal or reach a particular milestone – but simply for existing.

Even if we do nothing else in life but unconditionally love ourselves and treat ourselves kindly, that is enough. It is more than enough and it is all that is necessary. We are often encouraged to look outside of ourselves to locate our value. Marketing is created to lure us to repair some external feature because then we may we worthy. We are marketed to and sold to – buy this cream to fix this blemish or fault that someone else might judge you for having. Instead, today let’s look inside ourselves and locate our own inner compasses. We don’t owe perfection to anyone. We don’t owe modification to anyone. Nor do we ever have to change ourselves to fit some societally imposed or marketing-imposed version of ourselves that is more palatable or desirable to others. We only need to be honest and true to ourselves.

We are perfect as we are, where we are, right here and right now. What a gift to know that our worth is beyond questioning and that our value comes from within not without. And on that theme we are not without anything, everything we need we already have. You are loved, valued, and perfect exactly as you are right now. We all are and isn’t that magnificent? 

Noticing Synchronicity

Do you ever notice when the universe is contriving for your success? At the end of the day yesterday I was scrolling through emails, attempting to clear away the clutter and give myself the gift of a clean inbox. Every so often I purge and unsubscribe, especially from services and sales that seem to perpetually be happening. It consumes a few seconds of every day but add that time up and it’s minutes every week devoted to deleting messages and notes from companies, services, or groups that I am no longer a part of or no longer interested in being as engaged with regularly. 

While in the process of going through these emails I came across one from a financial institution I use for my investments. I had seen the emails but by the time I get to it I felt like I needed one more thing to be productive today – to feel accomplished, to take something off of my list. I decided to follow a link they had been sending for at least half a year. I thought I could spare the time and so I completed the questionnaire and visited the new financial tool provider. It. Was. A. Gift. 

When I say that I don’t mean I came across a financial windfall, so don’t get too excited. However, I competed the questions and the prize was a library of tutorials, videos, and tools that I might use to become more financially aligned and literate. It is one of my goals this year to enhance our financial strategy and take the time to learn more about personal finance so that we might continue to grow healthfully and invest wisely. The universe had provided this tool months ago! I had to put the phone down to laugh and say thank you out loud. The solution was right in my inbox the entire time. But it was only by giving myself the time to see that I found it. Not every email is such a gold mine but this one was a surprise and a delight – a reminder that what we put out into the universe comes back to us. A nod to show me, once again, the universe contrives for our success. 

This one moment of synchronicity drew my attention to other areas where I was getting the help I needed but not in the shape I expected. I had wanted wellness coaching or a personal trainer and in my work inbox this morning was an email about services my employer supported healthcare program offers – both are included. Synchronicity!

My reading before bed was about the butterfly effect – how things that seem only loosely tied together contrive to create larger events. How the flap of a butterfly’s wings in the Amazon can produce a tornado in Texas. That example is extreme but synchronicity in our daily lives happens all the time. You have a song in your head and it comes on the radio; you’re thinking about an old friend and they suddenly call. These moments of serendipity show us when we are on the right path, heading in the right direction or following our proper course. And when we begin to notice them, we start to see them everywhere. 

By learning to recognize the synchronicity in our lives and clearing the clutter that can sometimes fill our inboxes, hands, and heads we make space for those things that are most aligned with our purpose and our path. It is only when our hands and hearts are open that we are free to accept all the wonders the universe has in store for us. 

What moments of synchronicity have you noticed in your own life? How has the universe revealed your path to you? Do you feel like these things are just coincidences or indicative of a higher calling?

Staying Present: Opossum Invasion

We’ve been invaded. The double edged sword of living in such close proximity to nature. We love the beautiful trees, the expansive vistas and looking out our windows at nothing but green leaves and sky. But this also means we are right in nature’s lap. The first things our neighbors warned us to watch out for was the wildlife. Our yard is apparently a parade route for foxes, coyotes, and a family of albino opossums – just to name a few. 

This afternoon I took the dog out and walked into the garage when I decided to check on my son’s toys. The door from the house to the garage was not closed tightly and I wondered if he had perhaps left a mess that might inadvertently result in one of his toys being run over or someone tripping. While looking on the far side of the garage I noticed that our blinds had fallen. Then I noticed a face looking back at me. 

A distinctly rodent face that looked too large to be a mouse but was shaped like one. It looked lighter in coloration so either an albino opossum child or a rat. The doleful and kindly eyes lead me to believe it was an opossum but I promptly moved to open the garage to let whatever it was escape – as it was clearly attempting to do through the window.

The garage door is open and I am now reflecting on what items will need to be brought in from the garage – which items I hope and pray have not been nibbled or burrowed in or soiled. Shoes, toys, golf clubs, my hope is that the little invader was only in there for the night and is just hungry and trying to find their way home to their family. Still the idea of some animal in and among my things uninvited makes me squirm. I do not like rodents and least of all rodents in my space and unexpectedly wreaking havoc in my home. Oh, yuck, yuck, yuck. 

I know it is we who are at fault as it must have wandered in while we were outside in the yard. I hope it did not make its own way into the garage as that opens up a whole new crop of items to address. Still if it has, we will deal with it and I am grateful to have learned this lesson so early and in the spring months. I am grateful that it was me who found the intruder and not one of my children who could have been scared or worse yet bitten just because they didn’t know the animal was there and scared it. I’m grateful that we have the ability to send the little beast on its way without harm. I’m grateful that we live in this area and delighted that nature always finds a way. 

I have been searching my lawn night and day these last few weeks hoping to catch a glimpse of a fox, coyote, deer, or opossum and the sweet little darlings brought the show to me. God has a sense of humor. These are the unexpected moments that truly make us feel alive and bring us into the present. There’s nowhere else to be when confronted with a furry faced friend in the dark of a garage. I hope it finds its way home safely. I hope I did not scare it too much with the noise of the garage door and yelling for my partner. I’m grateful for the lesson and will be glad to take it with me as we forge into spring – oh the gifts are many. I’m so glad we’re learning them now. 

What lessons has nature taught you recently?