Category: home

Spring Cleaning

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Like new school supplies in the fall, a clean start in spring clears the air and makes space for fresh ideas. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed I shift my environment and see if that doesn’t shift my mood. A little spring cleaning as self-care.

Rather than forcing myself to complete a task that I am resisting, I pivot. I do something completely different. I vacuum, dust, organize. And that one small activity creates momentum that carries me to the next step. Even if I don’t start my task, I feel productive and am rewarded with the space to begin. I may even have a new perspective on the task and work through some of my hesitation while focusing on something else.

I may be wiping down counters but in the back of my mind I’m laying out a painting or remembering to send that email. Getting outside to weed the garden, or shake out the rug brightens my mood because I’m outside. Clearing physical clutter frees our mental headspace too. 

When we give ourselves time and space, instead of guilt and anger, we feel better. And when we feel better we do better work. As Julia Cameron tells us, “treating ourselves like a precious object makes us stronger.” We learn early that we are spoiling a child if we give in to their demands. But this perspective does not mesh with what we all know of ourselves as human beings. When have you ever done something you didn’t want to do and felt good about it? 

When you don’t want to complete a task chances are you’re not ready to do it. Be patient with yourself and take your time. When we are kind to ourselves we feel loved, accepted, free to be authentic and creative. Performing at our highest level includes operating at our highest ability. We do that when we nourish ourselves, reward our progress, and gently correct our mistakes. 

To get ahead we do not need to punish ourselves. We need only to be more gentle and see what blooms. This spring start small and do what brings you joy first. Maybe you tidy a room or maybe you take a nap. See how being kind to yourself impacts your day and your life. 

Serenity this Holiday Season

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In the holiday rush and excitement it seems there is always one more thing to do. Another quick stop at the grocery store, one more gift, and one last batch of cookies. We are in the midst of the season and I am finding myself wanting to slow down. There’s this anticipation for the holidays that I don’t think we ever outgrow, this desire to celebrate, gather, and unite. But even in the midst of carols, cheer, and cards – I am finding myself longing for simplicity. I have high hopes for serenity this holiday season.

It seems every moment of this time of year is allocated to more than one thing. Watching White Christmas while wrapping presents, and sipping a fine scotch is a tradition that one of our couple friends enjoy. It’s lovely and it’s all of the things at one time. I like to make cookies, listen to carols, and let the kiddos help. This increases the challenge of any undertaking. But last night was a low key night – pizza and a roaring fire. We all cuddled up and colored in coloring books.

Each of us had our own design and we shared colored pencils. The tree was aglow, there were carols on in the kitchen, we did not plan this. It was a serendipitous moment in time but we were all present and engaged. I’d be lying if I did not admit there was some bickering over who got the red next. But overwhelmingly it was lovely. 

And that magic is what I’m after. My hopes for serenity are answered in the surprise of a quiet family evening at home. The delight of being together and having one another close. It was a seasonal moment because without the cold there would be no fire or decorated tree without Christmas coming – but they were all there, we were all home. We were not rushing toward some accomplishment, a lesson, duty, or obligation. We are all present and celebrating the season in our own small way. It didn’t cost us anything and the moment was lovely, it was sweet, serene, and holy. And I am going to savor that moment for a long time.

It was so good, I completely forgot to take a picture –  but I’m writing about it here so we don’t forget that when looking for a pause and a break from the carousel that is the holiday season, one brunch and party after another it can be such a gift to sit still on the bench and just watch the show together. What a gift that we are not alone, that we have one another, and that we do not need to perform our joy or show off our happiness. We could just enjoy the company of our family, talk and compliment one another’s creativity, and be together in this moment in time. That is a gift for which I am truly grateful.

Do you have hopes for serenity this season? What makes the holidays special for you? Are there any quiet traditions you love or that you’re hoping to start this year? If you’re looking for ideas there’s a list posted here.

Getting Started

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I recently attended a zoom where we chatted about organization. More specifically the feeling of powerlessness and overwhelm that comes from having an abundance of possessions. How having so many things can get in the way of progress. Too many possessions get in the way of living in our homes the way we want to and feeling free from the burdens of the past. It is humbling to consider how many of us have garages, basements, storage units full of things that we have not seen, used, or benefitted from owning in weeks, months, or years. In some cases we are even paying storage fees and the “stuff,” is not only not serving us but costing us. The key to freeing ourselves from this burden is simply getting started.

The freedom to live our lives the way we want to is often obstructed by the burden of too many possessions. That said, we need beauty, whimsy, and delight in our homes and among our possessions. If a variety of shoes delights you – by all means buy them, wear them, enjoy them. However, if an overabundance of shoes leaves you exhausted and drained because you can never find the pair you want then it might be time to let the shoes go. 

We all have those things that we enjoy and delight in owning – and that is completely appropriate. But when we feel obligated to maintain or keep items that do not serve a purpose or bring us joy then it may be time to reassess. I usually feel ready to purge after the winter months or visiting a place that makes me feel overwhelmed with clutter. It can be an enlightening and enlivening experience to donate those items that I no longer want or need. It is also freeing to share the items that no longer serve me with others. 

A friend attends a white elephant party annually where guests bring three items from their homes that they no longer want. The items that no longer serve them are redistributed among the attendees. The pieces that don’t find a forever home are donated. 

It feels incredible to release goods to the universe. And even better to share them with someone who may put them to good use. It is a powerful and freeing exercise. But getting started can be overwhelming. When we look at the clutter of an entire basement or the stacks that take over a garage we freeze.

When we have so many things that they no longer bring us joy but instead feel like a burden, we have an opportunity to make a shift. If looking at the stacks of bins overwhelms you. Or the anxiety inducing prospect of organizing feels like too much. Give yourself a time limit – plan to organize one box or bin a day. Do this organizing for 15 minutes and then stop. Give yourself a reward and don’t skimp out on it. Do this job for 15 minutes then it’s time to call a friend. Also, don’t tell yourself 15 minutes and then work for 30. You’re not foolish and your brain can spot a liar. If you overwork this time it will be even more challenging to try next time. You are simply getting started. 

Beginning a new task is always hard. I remember in high school a coach and I decided to start our training by walking. We wanted to be up and out for a walk early in the mornings. The first day we planned to go walk – we simply got up and went to breakfast. This seems counterintuitive but we rewarded ourselves first. As Julia Cameron tells us, “Treating myself like a precious object will make me strong.” We cannot berate and belittle ourselves and hope that things get better. We are all just big kids. Who among us responds well to being yelled at?

We naturally don’t want to do the difficult task and pressuring ourselves to accomplish it will not work. However, if we simply start the exercise, organize a single box or shelf, it makes it that much easier to move forward. And to come back another day to do a little bit more. Because we didn’t lie to ourselves or work past our breaking point – we simply took the steps necessary to make a little progress. Like a snowball at the top of a hill, we pick up momentum, speed, and weight as we roll downhill.

We can’t begin our progress and finish it in the same day. We simply have to start. Getting started and re-starting over and over until the task is done. And we can do a little bit every day to make our lives sweeter. This stead progress helps us to cherish the things we intentionally choose to keep. It also creates a home that functions well for us and our families. Organization and limiting our possessions gives ourselves the space to blossom and grow healthfully and wholly in the space we have and among the belongings we truly want in our lives and in our homes.