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Lemonade from Lemons

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Friends, I did a thing.

Back when Covid was beginning this summer I met a friend on her back porch for some much needed soul refreshment. We sat outside under twinkle lights as the stars came out and her quiet little neighborhood went to sleep. Children already in bed, and capable husbands on duty, we shared cocktails and conversation until late in the night. It was everything I had hoped it might be until there was a record scratch moment, one of those small social faux pas we all make that made me suck my teeth and fight the urge to make my own catty comments about her choices.

Here’s what happened, my dear friend noticed I had paint on my pants and commented in a well meaning way about how I have so many, “hobbies.” And that was the word, the expression that made me adjust my position, put down my drink, and cross my arms.

To be fair, I have a lot of interests. I paint, write, dance, ski, and honestly this list goes on but you get the idea! I firmly believe that one creative exploit encourages and begets another. I am always on the lookout for inspiration and meaning in this world, hence the title of this blog. And so her comment was reasonable but as an artist I consider my creative activities my real work. It is my passion, my purpose, not something to keep my hands busy while my stories are on television.

The thing is I felt insulted and hurt but instead of using my powers for evil… I’m not perfect, I said some things… I channeled my energy towards something good. The next day there was a call for entries to a juried art show in my inbox and I submitted three pieces. I have never done this in my life, but as they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Last week I found out my piece was accepted and will be shown. Fingers crossed it inspires someone else and sells. Which means I owe my friend an explanation and a thank you because without that little nudge I never would have submitted my work. And because of that rage and passion I had the courage to put my work out into the world.

Has this every happened to you? Has something wonderful come out of something not so great? I hope so!

Reaching Out for Good

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One of the things I am doing right now is finding the small ways in which I can grow. In an uncontrollable situation I find the small things that I can do to feel more stable comforting. This week it was ironing shirts (not that there is anywhere to wear shirts that require ironing). But now when I go into my closet the option to wear nicer clothes exists and it’s nice to feel like I have choices.

Several weeks ago the exercise was to clean out my jewelry box. I did this early in Covid and found an unfamiliar high school ring. And with the time we all have on our hands these days, I pulled out my year book and reached out on Facebook to all of the women whose monograms and graduation year matched. I exchanged notes with several lovely people but none of them claimed the ring. I reached out to the school, in hopes someone had left a message there should it be found, bupkis. I wasn’t going to send it to the ring company – not that I was a phenomenal caretaker – but it felt warmer with a person than in a cold desk drawer. 

My last resort was an option I had suspected but hoped would not be true. A student in my school, two years younger than I, had passed away. If the ring was not hers, I did not want her family to be hurt or harmed in any way by my reaching out. However, with all other avenues exhausted and all of the details aligned – monogram, year, etc. It seemed the only path forward.

I stood in my kitchen cutting vegetables and having a familiar back and forth conversation in my head, “Should I mail them the ring?” 

A cardinal landed on my deck and sang back as though in response, two long strong notes.

I thought, “Will it do more harm than good?” 

The cardinal sang again, as if giving approval. Once those second extended notes were done, it flew away. 

In that moment I felt certain of my decision. Please let me first make clear, that wildlife does not often convene on my porch or commune with me, however in this instance, it felt significant. 

And so, thank goodness her parents were voters, and still in the area, I looked up their address. I wrote a note explaining how I found the ring and was certain it rightfully belonged to them. I mailed the package and hoped for the best.

Have you ever done something like this? Returned a long lost treasure? Felt in your heart you were doing the right thing but still concerned it might do more harm than good?

Reconnecting in the New Normal

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When you believe in something or someone you do something about it. 

Today I wrote an email to a friend I haven’t spoken to since high school. I was inspired by another friend who reached out for ideas on how to cope with the various plagues of 2020 and entertaining herself in long winter months. First, for this woman I have nothing but praise, she is planning for her future and investing in those things that will sustain her through the long months – new ideas and old friendships. If that is all I took away from her reaching out, it would be a gift. But that is not all, I also was reminded of a dear friend from many years ago. A vulnerable, beautiful, and talented author who may not be writing – so I wrote to her to find out. 

Why was this important? Well, to me when I believe in someone I tell them, I tell them deep beautiful truths out loud. I do this intentionally, because I do have a gift with words and I write often but my work comes of labor, effort, and refinement. That is not the way with talent. With talent, your words will silence a high school classroom of overachievers and lead the teacher to ask your friends if they know how you did it. Talent, is twenty years later someone remembering the lines and the power of your writing. Talent, is touching people’s souls.

While I’m sure I gave support when we were younger and close, I haven’t given support to this woman in a long time. I don’t know what her life looks like, the shape of her days, or where life’s journey has taken her. All I do know is that she has, “It,” whatever it is. While many aspire to that gift, to have it and not use it would be a loss for humanity. Not for her, I imagine she lives a happy life that is fulfilling and rich – but the rest of us who need to listen and learn, we would only know the absence or the feeling of an unfulfilled longing. I cannot put pen to paper on someone else’s behalf, but I can show up, I can remind her of her gift and that I am eager to read her words. I don’t know how the message will land but I do know that my gift to humanity today was to inspire her to write, to share her words, and to trust herself and her talent.

As a creative, I suddenly am completely clear on the need for patrons of the arts. Because artists like Cathleen Collins and T. S. Eliot go to work each day, and make dinner, and pay their bills, and might never have the opportunity to craft the stories that move our civilization, our species forward.

As I write it also occurs to me that I write these words for myself, to align my priorities and to say these words out loud. It reminds me that I have these gifts too. I am not on her level, I may never be, but I have witnessed greatness and I am capable of greatness and I am willing to try. I am willing to show up and give it my best. I hope you are too. 

Has anyone sent you a message of support or encouragement that landed just as you needed it? Would you find such a note presumptuous or invasive? My hope is that it lands as it should or upsets you enough to do something about it. Do you like love notes from long lost friends? Do you send love notes to long lost friends? Will you now?

Affluence and Abundance

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I invite you to step into that feeling right now, the sensation of affluence and abundance. Think. Behave. Believe. This is enough. You are enough. There is power in that and beauty. These thoughts do not come easy, in the outside world. But we are no longer in the outside world, you are here, welcome. Take a breath and let’s begin. 

The very nature of those terms, Affluence and Abundance, implies safety. It implies insulation from challenges and support in times of difficulty. In our perfect world, there are still difficulties, moments of defeat and disappointment, the difference is that in this community we do no trust in the fall. We do not belabor the details of the fall. And we do no harbor blame or resentment to the cause or our suspicions of what let to the fall. We accept that we have fallen and get up. The balm of action is what soothes us, is what gives us the courage and the power to move forward. Instead of lingering over the past or attempting to seek out someone or something to blame we are here, we are present and we prepare ourselves to move forward.

I read, and forgive me I do not remember where (If you know, please remind me and I will update this post), that if something bothers you after 24 hours act on it within 48 hours. It will change your life. As an active over-thinker and ruminator, this simple wisdom has been transformative.

We have all read that to move fast and make mistakes is the guidance of silicone valley, but so many of us then reflect on reports of our comments being in the public domain forevermore for judgement and critique. However, what if instead of framing our decisions based on the negative, “What ifs,” we framed our choices around the positives. As Nelson Mandela said, “May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears. Well that, dear ones is my hope for you. That your choices be bold, beautiful, and come from the very soul of you. 

Let us choose to live in affluence and abundance, the idea that we have enough, we are enough, and see what a difference that makes in our decisions. If you already have enough and are enough, what is there left to do? For me, my whole room looks different.

What is left, is exactly what I want to do! What I do as a gift to myself and not a a burden or obligation, but what sweet generosities do I wish to bestow on myself and my family? It takes the sting and drudgery out of organizing my art supplies. And perhaps, I will begin with a cup of tea since that brings me happiness and joy. That’s where I’m going to start. How about you? What brings you joy? What gift of abundance and affluence have you given yourself before you begin a new day or a new project? I’m always open to delightful ideas!

And lest you be misled and think me bold for whipping these up, please note the “just add water,” on the package. As Ina Garten would say, “If you don’t have fresh, store bought is fine.” And these scones are delightful, delicious, and store bought!

Welcome Home

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Envision your highest self. Now, show up as them in your daily life. And instead of just showing up as that person what if we also behaved as if the world was also a welcome home? Imagine a world where all people, societies, and structures were functioning at their highest and best. Vibrating in that realm of better and better performance. How would that shift our energy? How would that shift the way we feel each day? If the news, world, and people that surround us reflected their best and most honest selves back at us? How would that look?

The world might then feel like a welcome home. To me, the world would look like equity, anti-racism, and the general abundance of “isn’t this wonderful?” The feeling would be nurturing, whole, and loving. The energy that it espoused would be affirmation, justice, and confidence – not just for me as an individual but for all of humanity. Our conversations would begin with, “How can we do even better?” Coming from a place of mutual understanding and respect. Recognizing that we all want what is best for ourselves and each other. Value and care for our fellow human beings would be based on shared humanity, generosity of spirit, and love. Mutual respect based in the shared recognition that for me to do well includes you and does not come at a cost to you.

My highest self is an orchestrator in that world. An optimist who empowers others, lifting as I rise. An author and artist invited to share and create wonder. Someone who appreciates the great and small among us. A living legacy of community, creativity, health, and home. These gifts we share with generosity to each other and the world. 

This space is dedicated to that highest power, that purest, and most beautiful vision for who we are and what we can be together. It is dedicated to that dream and those striving to reach it. May this space be one of safety, support, empathy, vulnerability, and love. May we co-create this vision and thrive in the beauty that is possible by living as if utopia were already here today.

Welcome home.