Category: Words of Wisdom

Practicing Self-Forgiveness

Leave a comment

Today I did this really wonderful meditation about forgiveness. It was all about releasing our anger and letting our energy better serve our growth. The idea of self-forgiveness as a gift. Rather than use our energy to hold ourselves back or punish ourselves, instead we give our energy to fueling and nurturing our own growth. Building the new rather than repairing the old. We cannot fix the past but be can do better in the future.

The Buddha said, “You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” That wisdom just sticks for me. The Buddha reminds us we have a choice. We have the power to decide between carrying anger with us or choosing to let it go. I find this to be a truly liberating perspective. Just realizing that we have this option feels refreshing. So often we carry anger, hurt, or embarrassment with us long after an event has passed. Anyone who suddenly remembers their most vulnerable experiences from childhood and cringes knows what I mean. We punish ourselves unnecessarily when we carry anger with us rather than accepting the emotion and moving on.

It can be frustrating when we fail to learn a lesson sooner or realize we could have done something better. But rather than get angry with ourselves or feel down about it, we do have the option to accept this information and resolve to do better. Maya Angelou tells us, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” We can all do better and part of that begins with self-forgiveness which enables us to release that negative energy. 

What a profound and teachable moment. Forgiving ourselves today is such a gift. It frees us to nurture our own growth instead of cutting ourselves down. The reminder is to live in joy and practice self-forgiveness. To release anger because it both does not serve us and causes unnecessary harm to us. We get to choose how to live and we can choose to let go of anger so that we might thrive.

Confirmation Letter

Leave a comment

I recently wrote a confirmation letter to my cousin on a transformative rite of passage. These words were intended to lift her up, bring her through a difficult time, and embrace herself and her own path. I hoped to welcome the transformations that life was bringing to her. I wanted these words to land gently and hoped that they might inspire her to listen to herself and find her own way. It is with that same hope I offer them to you. I hope they fill your cup and serve as a confirmation letter of what you already know to be true.

Congratulations, I am so proud of you! I know you are ready. Choosing to become an adult carries great responsibility. You are deciding to take ownership to care for yourself and for others. You are choosing to listen to your heart and follow where it leads. 

Listening to the small voice inside yourself is difficult – it can be especially hard when that voice is shouted over by social media, friends, and entertainment. To listen to your inner wisdom takes courage and quiet. Finding that quiet place of power within yourself so that you can follow your inner longing is what will lead you on your journey. You have done so much work to get to this place and I know that you are prepared to take this next step. I am sure that the universe will lead you to exactly where you are meant to be in the world and in life. Look at how far you’ve come already!

Being a teenager is a tricky time in every young person’s life. You’re learning to be the woman you will become and are beginning to carry the little girl you were in your heart. Protect that little girl. She worked hard to get you to exactly where you are right now. She braved tough times and has made you the person you are today. A lot of times we think negatively about ourselves in the past. We feel embarrassed or ashamed of our mistakes and choices. Sometimes we think we could or should have done things differently. It’s important to remember that all of those rough patches and challenges made you who you are today. They will give you the strength and wisdom to get you to where you’re going tomorrow. 

Never let anyone treat you in anyway that you would not want for that little girl. As an adult your job will be to take care of your inner child, protect her, nurture and nourish her, and let her play. Having fun only sometimes is not an option. I want you to be joyful, happy, and to laugh every day! I want you to feel the rain like magic, and I want your heart to sing. There is so much joy I wish for you. 

Where you are right now is temporary and as we go through life I think that is one of the most important things to remember. When things are hard – it’s temporary, you’ll get through it. And when they’re really good – it’s temporary so savor and enjoy it. Don’t let anything or anyone keep you from celebrating and living life as your fullest and most authentic self. 

I love the brave, bold, sparkling, and imaginative young woman you already are – I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of that little girl who always fought fiercely for herself and others. That radiant person who knew what she needed and went for it bravely. It has been my honor to watch you grow and develop into the person you are today. While we haven’t always spent as much time together as we might have liked it always fills my heart to hear you are thriving and to know that no matter what difficulties you may face you meet them with courage, consistency, and kindness. 

Being a kiddo is tough work – you’re doing all of the same things adults are doing, you’re just doing it all for the first time and with a lot less experience to rely on. It is not easy to learn everything. That’s why childhood takes so long – there’s a lot to figure out. And while lots of kiddos aspire to be grown up – I’ll hope you’ll cherish these moments because they are fleeting like a sunset and temporary too.

This moment is holy and so are you. Pay attention to where your inner wisdom is guiding you. I know that your curiosity and excitement will serve you well in life. I hope that some of what I have said helps and serves you on your journey. Please know how deeply loved you are and how grateful I am that you are mine.

This is kind-of a graduation, now isn’t it? A new beginning. I want you to know that even though you will now be an adult I am always here to listen and help you in any way I can. I’m so proud of you. Congratulations! I cannot wait to see where this next step takes you. I know this is not the last graduation, rite, or incredible blossoming I will celebrate for you. But it feels like a beautiful gift and honor to share these thoughts with you now. I am holding you in my heart today and always. 

Be Careful of your Character

Leave a comment

Last month we began breaking down the fascinating writings of Lau Tzu a mystic philosopher of ancient China, best known as the author of the Tao Te Ching (The Way and Its Power). He wrote:

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.

Watch your words, they become your actions.

Watch your actions, they become your habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Last week we unpacked, “Be careful of your habits,” which you can read here.

Using what we talked about over the last month as a foundation today, I want to delve more deeply into character as a virtue. Being of good character includes the habitual choices we make, which in turn impact the way our lives progress. The paths we take, the people we associate ourselves with, the activities we engage in, all of these small and seemingly inconsequential decisions work together to create our destiny.

When we are careless or inattentive to these daily or in some cases momentary decision points we can quickly and easily loose ourselves. It is in these moments that we are not present and being on autopilot can quickly derail our mastery of self. Failing to pay attention to where we invest our time and energy results in time spent poorly. American author, and Buddhist teacher, Jack Kornfield, writes “The trouble is you think you have time.” And I do this too. I scroll to delay completing an unpleasant task. I know I need to exercise but I fill the time with something else because I don’t feel like it. These aren’t moral choices in the moment but over time and with accumulation it is those small choices that will determine my health, wellbeing, my quality of life. I am sacrificing long term health and wellbeing for momentary or immediate gratification. 

Yet, with this Taoist teaching I am not asked to be perfect. I am not called to know all of the answers or to be fixed. We are only asked to watch, to pay attention, to gradually and slowly improve. We are invited to notice so that our momentary leanings do not become a way of life. We’re opening ourselves to the possibility to make a different choice this time or next. 

Becoming our most authentic selves is not something we do overnight. There is no remedy or medicine or solution that works. Developing our character is the work of a lifetime made up of minuscule choices. We do not have to be perfect. We do not have to have all of the answers. We only need to pay attention to be sure that the path we are walking, the people we travel with, and the destinations we visit help us to grow. Because it is through these choices that we will set our own destiny.

Be Careful of Your Habits

Leave a comment

Earlier this month we began breaking down the fascinating writings of  Lau Tzu a mystic philosopher of ancient China, best known as the author of the Tao Te Ching (The Way and Its Power), published in the 3rd century, who wrote:

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.

Watch your words, they become your actions.

Watch your actions, they become your habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Last week we unpacked, “Be careful of your actions,” which you can read here.

This one is trickier for me. Starting with my understanding of character. There is, “to be a character,” which typically refers to someone eccentric or interesting. There is also your characteristics – the unchangeable features of who you are designed by biology, culture, and community. And then there is the concept of having good character or being someone worth knowing. I imagine we’re discussing the third of these – having character similar to something a Jane Austen heroine might seek.

Collins English Dictionary interprets character as someone with the ability to deal effectively with difficult, unpleasant, or dangerous situations.

Merriam-Webster – Moral excellence or firmness.

To be honest I don’t think either of these is what Lau Tzu is talking about. Our habits make up our daily routines and our lives to a certain extent. In watching our habits we’re making sure that we are showing up in the world as our best selves. When someone asks how we are doing do we answer honestly? Do we scroll through our phones while people are talking? Are we cutting people off in traffic?These aren’t major moments in our days, possibly only a few seconds. A quick snap decision we make to respond on autopilot, half listen, or put our wants before someone else’s safety can become habitual. And even if it is just a quick moment or time grab on our part to, “get something done real quick.” We’re choosing to put ourselves first at a cost to someone else.

I often write about the importance of putting yourself first and investing in meeting your own needs before taking on anyone else’s. But here we are facing the opposite of that inclination – when someone chooses to put themselves first at the risk of harm or hurt to someone else. Even a gesture as small as scrolling instead of listening to the person we are with can be hurtful. Beyond that the quick choice to cut someone else off in traffic could result in an accident that potentially puts many people, including ourselves, in harms way. 

Therefore the character that Lay Tzu is describing is who we are when we think no one will be hurt. Who we choose to be when we think no one is paying attention or will know it was us. How do we behave when given the opportunity. Do we rise to the occasion or do we take what we can get? All of us fall somewhere on a wide spectrum of character and our positions are constantly shifting with every decision we make. Character is not a fixed or defined absolute, we are constantly shifting and changing, growing and learning. Being watchful of our smaller habits helps us all bring the best of ourselves to the table and to the world. 

Be Careful of Your Actions

Leave a comment

Earlier this month we began breaking down the writings of  Lau Tzu a mystic philosopher of ancient China, best known as the author of the Tao Te Ching (The Way and Its Power), published in the 3rd century. The excerpt is below:

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.

Watch your words, they become your actions.

Watch your actions, they become your habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Last week we unpacked, “Be careful of your words,” which you can read here.

When our thinking and speaking are aligned with who we truly are our actions naturally follow suit. The concept of watching your actions for they become your habits feels familiar and necessary though. To me this speaks to our daily routines, the things we do without even thinking about it. How our actions, when repeated build upon each other and become parts of our regular life. Do we make time for the things we enjoy or are we simply going through the motions. Do we incorporate fun or conversation – do we say good morning or show affection to the people we care about or do we simply presume the know how we feel.

Our actions can be deliberate choices we make to show care for ourselves and others. They can also be rote routines we follow without thinking. Anyone who’s ever gotten into the car to drive to a familiar place and suddenly found themselves at their destination without any memory of the drive has experienced this. In college we called it the transporter. How did I get home? By following muscle memory and autopilot. 

It feels like Lau Tzu is not guiding us to be ever vigilant in our activities but rather to pay attention to our choices so that we make space for simple pleasures and joy in our lives. I watched a reel on Instagram recently where they held up a sign offering $5 to any person who called someone to tell them they loved them. Every person who stopped made the call and refused the five dollars. Each said to give it to the next person, someone who needed it more than they did. I would argue that they felt richer simply by calling the person they loved to tell them. The callers didn’t need money, they had love.

The simple gesture of calling to tell someone they loved them reminded the callers of how much they had – they had people who loved, supported, and missed them. Much like that sign, Lau Tzu is calling upon us to be intentional in our actions – call someone you love, take a different route home and enjoy the view, give yourself the gift of paying attention. When we are attentive to our actions and our choices we realize the freedom we have to change the world and our lives for the better. 

Be Careful of Your Words

Leave a comment

Last week I shared that as a child I would read inspirational messages posted by a local party center as we drove home from school each day. I was fascinated by the philosophical posts, my favorite was from Lau Tzu a mystic philosopher of ancient China, best known as the author of the Tao Te Ching (The Way and Its Power), published in the 3rd century. The excerpt is below:

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.

Watch your words, they become your actions.

Watch your actions, they become your habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Last week we unpacked, “Be careful of your thoughts,” which you can read here. 

Today I’d like to talk more about being careful of our words. How we say our words has a direct correlation to how we feel and in turn how we treat others. However there are some ways of speaking that destroy connection rather than build it. Being careful of our words, to me, means being intentional in what we say, speaking our truth from our hearts. 

To speak our truth honestly and freely we must also remove some of our weaker conversational tools that no longer serve us. There are two tactics that I strive to limit in my own conversations and I would encourage you to do the same. I’ve expanded on these below:

Sarcasm – There’s a reason sarcasm translates so poorly between languages. At best it can be confusing at its worst it is cruel. For some of us sarcasm is a security blanket a turn of phrase that gets a cheap and quick laugh. Many of us have learned to use sarcasm to distract or deflect attention from ourselves. But when we are using our words to cut down another person or idea – we are causing harm. 

Backhanded compliments and comments – these statements leave just enough room for interpretation. They are not kind or considerate but rather hurtful. These turns of phrase are passive aggressive sarcasm. These are phrases or statements that hurt and harm with kindness – comments like, “You always look lovely in that dress. I see why you wear it all the time.” This is not a compliment, this is a way of taking someone down. These comments sting and much like sarcasm they are designed to hurt.

These are statements are personal and they cut deep. If you are a person who uses backhanded compliments in regular conversation I would encourage you to stop. You are doing harm to the people you love – your family, friends. If you have an issue with someone in your circle it is far better to talk with them directly than it is to kill them with a thousand verbal lashes – because when it is your words that you use to hurt when you ask for forgiveness no one will believe you mean it sincerely.

Using our words seems to be a lost art, the ability to exchange witty banter or turns of phrase that leave others laughing without hurting is a delicate dance. And every so often we do loose our cool, we slip up and say an unkind thing. When that happens it is important to immediately call out your misstep and honestly share your feelings with the other party. 

If someone’s words are hurting you, let them know that you do not appreciate their unkindness. Hopefully, this is a simple social faux pas but if it becomes a larger pattern it is completely understandable and necessary for you to distance yourself from the guilty party until they can learn to communicate kindly. 

If you are someone who uses sarcasm or backhanded comments to communicate, it may be time to reconsider your approach and find a better way to express yourself. Meanness is not a good look and finding a way to share how you feel without hiding behind barbs will only serve you well in the future. You will be giving yourself, and those you love, the gift of honest and open communication. You will be giving the gift of greater intimacy and understanding because your friends and family will know that they are safe in your company. You will find far deeper connections with the people you love, now that they no longer have to hide from your harsh words. I wish you a lifetime of love and connection – use and choose your words wisely. Your words reflect not only how you see the world but impact how the world sees you.

Have you ever used sarcasm or backhanded comments to make a point? Do you use them for laughs? Or would you rather not?

Be Careful of Your Thoughts

2 Comments

Every day on the drive home from school my family would pass a party center with one of those light up signs where someone would replace the letters every week. I don’t know who their message posting philosopher was but I read their work every day. I memorized the notes from that sign and they have served me well throughout my life. The most impactful posts, for me, were from Lau Tzu a mystic philosopher of ancient China, best known as the author of the Tao Te Ching (The Way and Its Power), which is the original Taoist text published in the 3rd century. I’d like to share them with you: 

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.

Watch your words, they become your actions.

Watch your actions, they become your habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Over the next few posts I’d like to unpack each of these sentences. Starting with our thoughts.

In yoga the experience of having our thoughts randomly jump from one idea to another is called, “monkey mind.” Because, like a monkey, if not properly attended to our minds will bounce all over the place. We are impacted constantly with sensory information and data that triggers our mental synapses to fire – we see a truck, think fire truck, fire, candles, Sylvia’s birthday is on Friday I have to remember to get candles. And the like. 

In meditation we attempt to still the mind – which isn’t so much actual stillness, except observing our thoughts with detachment as if we were watching them happen to someone else. Our thoughts are not for us to manage or dissect in meditation. As we meditate we are simply to stay aware that we are thinking but not engage with the thoughts – it is not easy. That said, it can be incredibly freeing to release ourselves from the constant mental leaps of consciousness and simply be both physically and mentally still. The guidance to, “watch your thoughts,” may be in reference to meditation. To separate yourself from your thoughts and observe them. 

Watching your thoughts could also be instruction to be attentive to the quality of the thoughts you entertain. Are your thoughts primarily negative or positive? Are they judging or shallow? A reminder that what we give our attention to is what we will draw to ourselves. If we’re thinking negatively we will want to talk about and discuss with others who share our perspective and will therefore draw more negativity into our lives. Are we thinking about ideas and concepts or are we thinking about ourselves or other people? This reminds me of the sage advice attributed to American First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt but originally stated by English historian Henry Thomas Buckle, 

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” 

If you were to be attentive to your thoughts would you be proud to say them out loud? Or if you find yourself ruminating on insults or past interactions might your time be better spent creating new happy memories? Or investigating ways in which you might make your mind a more pleasant place to visit? After all, our happiness begins from within, shouldn’t we do our best to make our minds and thoughts a pleasant place to be and live?

This week I will be watching my thoughts to see what I learn. I hope you’ll join me and if you feel comfortable, share what you’ve learned or noticed in the comments.

Trusting the Universe and it’s Timing

Leave a comment

Some days I get impatient with my blessings. I want certain things to arrive by a specific date. Or I am tired of waiting because I want something fun and exciting to start. But as I do this I am wishing away the joy of the moment. I am envisioning some better tomorrow when what I have and what I only have ever – is this moment right now. Wishing for another day so some future pleasure or experience to delight me distracts from the wonder and the beauty of the present moment. It’s what Daniel Tiger calls, “Enjoy the Wow in the Now.”

Those words are magic at our house – and so apropos particularly when talking with our children. They are so eager for dessert, a family movie night, or for the weekend that it’s easy to forget that what they’re doing in the moment is pretty lovely too – eating a home cooked meal with family, reading and cuddling on the couch, or on their way to practice a sport or activity that they love. As an adult it’s pretty easy to get caught up in this mindset too – constantly wishing and hoping for what comes next and forgetting to enjoy the moment. Particularly because everything that I once dreamed of I am enjoying now. 

My entire life was once a hope and a dream that has manifested before me. I was speaking with my Grandmother recently and we were going through so old family papers, mixed in the pile was a letter she had sent as a young mother to her own mother on vacation in Florida. She wrote of the schedule her children were keeping that week and as I read she laughed. She said, “I have no idea how I kept track of all of that!”

The woman raised eight children and the list of activities, cub scout meetings, instrument practices, lessons, and dinners was incredible – what impressed me even more was that not only did she have time to remember all of those things but she sent dinner over for her mother’s neighbors, picked up the mail at her mom’s house, and had time to write the letter I was now reading. The woman is a legend. And in all honesty even with email reminders, my various calendars, and sticky notes I can barely keep track of our sweet little family of four let alone, juggling which kid was given permission to borrow the car and what lessons they were delivering the rest to attend before going to work. 

My grandmother says those were the happiest time in her life, those days when she was so busy she just did things all day. And she points out that she didn’t know it then. Because how could she have? I think it’s a wonder she even brushed her teeth or remembered to comb her hair. And yet she did it all, she wore lovely dresses, was an active member of her church, President of the Mother’s Club at her son’s school, and a devoted and loving parent and partner. When I look at a life like hers I am struck by how she must have lived in the moment. She must have remained focused on each task as a single step. 

I am not jealous or eager to replicate her “Busy,” but what I believe the pace of her life did was force her to be in the moment. She didn’t have an opportunity to focus on the future or to strategize because with so many moving parts, pieces, people, she had to be fully present exactly where she was at that moment. And that is what I strive to remember.

When I am longing for the future or eager to skip ahead to the part where I’m a famous writer, traveling in private jets, appearing on talk shows to discuss my work, and speaking to large groups to share what I have learned along the way I try to remember that the magic is happening right now. The magic is in my son inviting me to come play with him. The magic is in the moment as I write these words. The magic is not some distant goal or dream – which will come whenever the universe and I am ready, I have no doubt. The magic is in enjoying this moment – the process of writing, the delight that comes when my child and I are playing in our imaginations together, and the very real and sacred beauty that exists in the here and now. The silence of my studio, the warm glow of the light at my side, the rumble in my tummy that tells me it’s time for dinner. All of this is a gift for which I am truly grateful. This life is so wonderful and there will be more amazing and wonderful things to come however the most magic exists in the here and now and the best thing I can do is be present and savor it because this is truly the best time of my life and the only time I have to live it.

Prioritization: Wisdom from Successful Women

1 Comment

Some days chaos will find you wherever you go. Today is one of those hectic days where the phone rings, the emails pour in, and even though it is a shorter holiday week, all of the work of a full week needs to get done. Despite all of these responsibilities calling for my attention I am making a point to put my goals first. Often we get rushed into decisions and with so many competing agendas I can get distracted into making someone else’s goal list my own. It’s not my favorite reality but it does happen. To get back in my own lane I take the following steps.

Make a List – The first step I take is to create of list of the items I would like to accomplish in a day. I actually took this idea from Ariana Huffington. Ariana, if you’re reading, thank you for your wisdom, I appreciate you. At the end of the day Ms. Huffington takes half an hour or less to go through her list of items that she wants to accomplish the next day. This stems from having larger goals that we have first broken into smaller steps – check out this blog post on breaking your goals up into manageable steps here. Once that work is done you then have smaller bites, little steps that you can accomplish to attain your larger goals. 

Take Two Small Steps – This wisdom comes from the Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten. Garten believes in taking two steps every week towards accomplishing your goal. This works like a dream because two steps in a week is manageable and every inch forward is still moving ahead!

Now, that we’ve got two steps toward goal accomplishment and our goals broken down into digestible steps – how do we keep those priorities when it seems like everyone we talk to has an agenda and a plan for how we should spend our time? 

Pick your Ball – That’s when I call in Nora Ephron. She believes that to balance priorities we have balls that we are all juggling to keep in the air at all times. Now, some of those balls are glass and some of them are plastic, it’s up to you to determine their value. Family, friendships, etc. these are your glass balls that you don’t ever want to drop and break. But you can drop some balls some of the time and you have to, unless you have figured out time travel and shape-shifting. If you have yet to accomplish this, please consider that you cannot be in all places at all times and sometimes when you are one place it means you’re missing something that is fairly important somewhere else. You must discern which tasks, opportunities, moments, are made of glass and which ones are made of plastic – and doing that will give you the opportunity to be there for the events and people that are most important to you. 

The goal is to use your intuition and to discern what is most important to you. How do you do that? Well, I often find for big decisions that flipping a coin helps. Usually, while the coin is in mid-air, there’s one side I’m hoping for and that is my gut telling me what I truly want. 

Practice – Another way to be sure we don’t get distracted by competing desires is to practice listening to ourselves. The best way to practice discernment is to begin listening to the small voice inside of you. The key is to start small. Don’t ignore your voice for decades and then expect it to be strong and bold when it’s time to make a major decision. You have to listen to your inner voice all the time so that it knows that if it does speak up it will be heard.

That voice is easy to ignore when you’re around other people. Simply because everyone else’s voice is just so loud – they’re talking at you! Your inner voice will whisper and so it’s important to listen closely. A great way to begin is to take yourself out for ice cream. Don’t bring anyone else because then you’ll be tempted to “have what she’s having.” And don’t ask the server to pick for you because that’s cheating. 

As a former ice cream server I can tell you that people spend more time selecting a flavor than they do a new car. It’s because there’s so many options and unless you have an old standby from which you never waiver, there are a lot of tempting flavors to try. That’s the beauty of ice cream, even if you make the wrong choice, in the end you still have ice cream, which is always good and relatively inexpensive. If you get it wrong, come back another day. Try something else and find what you like. Once you have ice cream down experiment and listen to yourself on progressively larger and larger choices. This will help you train and practice for those bigger decisions, when you really want to hear your own voice above the din, when it matters and you need to listen to your own gut above all of the chaos and competing demands.

How do you stay in your own lane and make yourself your main priority? 

Running Forward Toward Fear

Leave a comment

I have been cruising forward toward goals and accomplishments. Pushing myself to complete tasks that have long been on my list but that I have yet to organize and arrange. These are big long term goals and my momentum has been building but I was feeling a bit rushed, even though I’m prepared to step forward I found myself feeling a like if I kept moving at that pace that energy would devolve from momentum into overwhelm. 

I have started reading Brenee Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart, and in it she describes a difference between anticipation and anxiety. There is a distinction between our awareness that we have a lot to accomplish and the belief that we can accomplish all we want or have the necessary bandwidth to give to the project. We devolve into overwhelm when we are presented with a variety of opportunities but we do not feel that we are able to bring the appropriate energy or skills to their accomplishment. On weeks when my agenda is full I get into that overwhelm zone but I’ve never deliberately channeled my energy to get out of it – I didn’t know I could!

Therefore, for the first time today I took notice that I was feeling a little off kilter. I intentionally reigned in that energy so that I could locate my center of gravity, find where I am comfortable and process from a place of strength. This is totally new for me. Usually once I start tottering there needs to be a meltdown or freak-out before I find my way back to calm. But today I recognized that I was flying, feeling fast and loose and not in a good way. I felt those feelings and instead of being paralyzed by them or flinging myself even further into that unwieldy energy I stepped back. I did a meditation on being grounded and centered.

I will still pursue my goals and I remain intimidated by them – I love the quote that if your dreams don’t scare you, you’re not dreaming big enough. And right now the goals I am pursuing are scary for me. I’m hoping to grow this blog and this site – I want to create the community, sites, and works that we all deserve to enjoy. I want this site to be a welcoming home and a place where you can come to sit down with a cup of tea and rest, feel nourished, and centered before you return to whatever amazing things you do in the world. In order to give all of us this gift I am stepping out of my comfort zone – I don’t know a lot about website design, or starting a business, but I do know how to write and so I am writing out my fear. Because it is real fear – fear of failure or of making the wrong choice and wasting time and money. It is fear of doing things incorrectly. It is fear of judgement and letting people down and those are big scary things.

They are also very exciting things because what if it all works out and I am able to create the site we deserve. What if I am able to reach a wider audience of like-minded people. People who need my work as much as I need them to read it. What if we are on the cusp of building something truly transformational together and if I don’t step forward something that could have changed the world could be missing. And so in spite of my fear I am letting it ride shot-gun. I do not forget my fear or my caution but I don’t let them hold me back. I am letting them inspire me to choose wisely and do my best. I am using that fear to help me create an even better site and space than I imagine now. I am using that fear to keep me accountable and hold myself to the highest standard. 

I am also remembering that failures are not losses they are opportunities to recalibrate and realign. Failures are lessons in how to do it better. Failures are gifts that we can choose to learn from and grow with added wisdom and experience. It is humbling and it may be humiliating but it is a step in the right direction and I intend to take it. I intend to try and hopefully I will be able to give us all a space to grow together, learn from one another, and blossom into the fullest and most authentic versions of ourselves that we can possibly be together. I’ve got you. I’m getting to work.