Tag: advice

Life Goals

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When we intentionally do things that bring us joy simply because they bring us joy our perspective shifts. The emails organize themselves. I find that saying, “no,” to some things is actually liberating. It frees me from taking on more than I can manage. It opens space for me to invest time in those things that bring me joy and fulfillment. Those are my true life goals.

There’s an interesting analogy that is attributed to various thinkers, investors, etc. most often Warren Buffett. The guidance is as follows:

  1. Create a list of all you want to do in life.
  2. Rank the items on your list. 
  3. Once you have ranked all the things that interest you or that you think you might like to do highlight your top five. 
  4. Keep the top five. 
  5. Forget about the rest.

The belief is that we can accomplish anything but we can’t accomplish everything. Items six and beyond are just tempting enough to distract us from our main goals. By eliminating them we focus our attention on our true goals. This not only makes sense but will create more space and time for those things that serve us. It prevents scope creep. 

My only suggestion is to be sure some of those top five life goals include savoring the good life. If you’re not doing the small things that bring you joy you may accomplish a great deal. But you will always be chasing more. Be intentional with your time and choose you first, always. Make a good life not just good goals.

Release Responsibility + Control

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Spring is in bloom here in Ohio and I am experiencing a creative reawakening. It is a conscious remembering that what we ask for the universe provides. We are showing up in new ways, refreshed and transformed. Making space for those activities that bring me joy and that inspire me. I am no longer available for those activities that drain my energy or leave me feeling unfulfilled. There is a natural resurgence of energy as if spring demands a release of responsibility and control.

To show up authentically we release all of those things we do not need. We are born naked, what can we take off? What do we no longer need to bear the burden of carrying? I have found in life that it is incredibly easy to take on things that are not my own. We collect obligations, tasks, work, and labor. I have held onto many things out of a false sense of responsibility. A desire to fix what is not mine to repair.

I once received a powerful bit of advice from a stranger in passing. She said, “Love is not meant to be held or given, it is meant to flow through us.” In this way all energy and emotion should pass through our lives. The goal is to be porous like sponges, able to absorb only that which is intended for us and release the rest. This allows everything not meant for us to pass quickly without lingering. Another way to think of this message, “those mountains you are carrying, you were only meant to climb.” 

Author Anne Lamott asks, “What is help if not the sunny side of control?” Releasing control is the greatest gift we can offer to ourselves and others. To release control we remember that our value is not tied to our productivity or performance. We all have intrinsic value. When we purge all of the things that are no longer ours we make space for the relationships, experiences, and gifts that we are intended to receive. We trust that that which is meant for us will come to us. We need not be responsible for more than our fair share of work or duty. Our value is not tied to our labor or our misplaced obligations to fix, repair, or care for others. 

We are here to create and give the best of ourselves to the world. As we create our own paths, let use put down the mountains we have carried. Let us climb them instead and leave all of the extra weight that rightfully belongs to other people for them to manage. This spring we are no longer bearing the burden of someone else’s mistakes or issues. Each of us is free to manifest our own destiny, no longer encumbered by the burden of false responsibility or control. We are free. 

Doesn’t the relief feel incredible?