Tag: attentiveness

Emotional Guideposts

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In difficult situations I sometimes find myself experiencing deja vu. It is as if the universe brings an old lesson to me to see if I am paying attention. It seems like there are lessons that I am learning again and again and the universe is just checking to see how far I’ve come on it. It’s not easy to recognize our patterns but as we age we can sometimes see the themes repeating themselves. Each time we have the opportunity to change the ending ever so slightly for the better.

You might notice this too – how situations in our lives repeat themselves. I’ve heard it said that even in relationships that fall apart, oftentimes we rush back to that same point with a new partner. We’re with someone new and yet having those same conflicts all over again. This happens in all our lives. Our job is to learn from those situations so that we may move forward. Instead of repeating the same cycle again and again.

This can be easier said than done. To help myself I’ve started using my emotions as guideposts. I do this by feeling my emotions while also being attentive to what they’re telling me. Especially really strong emotions like anger, fear, or any derivative of those two. When I feel these super strong emotions they are indicators that my boundaries have not been respected, or that I feel particularly unsafe or insecure. The emotional guideposts are messages and our job is to pay attention and figure out what it is they are telling us. Our emotions are there for a reason.

Recently a familiar lesson has come around again for me. It is frustration at a perceived lack of control – my inclination is always to take over and be in charge. Pick me and I can do it, oldest child reporting for duty. But instead of having the power to fix the situation I find myself confronted with obstacles. There are obstinate conflicts and other people in the way. In fact, they are the owners of the situation and my role is to step back and let them. 

It’s a tricky lesson to learn. As many of you already know, letting people manage their own situations is a challenge. It’s easy to get drawn in – but the lesson is that this is not my situation to fix. I am only here to do my work, not anyone else’s. Period.

This realization usually comes after a lot of emotional investment or self-righteous anger – both signals that we want to recognize. This time I noticed my emotional guideposts. What’s even better was when I recognized the situation I knew what to do, I needed to step back and realign. Oprah says she recognizes these situations by saying, “I see you God!” And I think that perspective is so refreshing. That’s the message – these situations and our emotional guideposts are not here for us to stumble. They are here to help us on our path. If we are overly invested and involved in everyone else’s drama, problems, or challenges we are certainly NOT focused on our own journeys. 

There’s a Polish proverb, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” Whenever I feel the temptation to involve myself in a project or situation that is not mine I remind myself to step back. The phrase makes me laugh and helps me to clearly define my role. I’m not here to manage the world. I am only here to manage myself and learn all that I can about myself and what it means to be me.

How do you remind yourself to stay in your own lane? What lessons do you find the universe bringing into your life over and over again? How have you changed your own patterns for the better?

Noticing Synchronicity

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Do you ever notice when the universe is contriving for your success? At the end of the day yesterday I was scrolling through emails, attempting to clear away the clutter and give myself the gift of a clean inbox. Every so often I purge and unsubscribe, especially from services and sales that seem to perpetually be happening. It consumes a few seconds of every day but add that time up and it’s minutes every week devoted to deleting messages and notes from companies, services, or groups that I am no longer a part of or no longer interested in being as engaged with regularly. 

While in the process of going through these emails I came across one from a financial institution I use for my investments. I had seen the emails but by the time I get to it I felt like I needed one more thing to be productive today – to feel accomplished, to take something off of my list. I decided to follow a link they had been sending for at least half a year. I thought I could spare the time and so I completed the questionnaire and visited the new financial tool provider. It. Was. A. Gift. 

When I say that I don’t mean I came across a financial windfall, so don’t get too excited. However, I competed the questions and the prize was a library of tutorials, videos, and tools that I might use to become more financially aligned and literate. It is one of my goals this year to enhance our financial strategy and take the time to learn more about personal finance so that we might continue to grow healthfully and invest wisely. The universe had provided this tool months ago! I had to put the phone down to laugh and say thank you out loud. The solution was right in my inbox the entire time. But it was only by giving myself the time to see that I found it. Not every email is such a gold mine but this one was a surprise and a delight – a reminder that what we put out into the universe comes back to us. A nod to show me, once again, the universe contrives for our success. 

This one moment of synchronicity drew my attention to other areas where I was getting the help I needed but not in the shape I expected. I had wanted wellness coaching or a personal trainer and in my work inbox this morning was an email about services my employer supported healthcare program offers – both are included. Synchronicity!

My reading before bed was about the butterfly effect – how things that seem only loosely tied together contrive to create larger events. How the flap of a butterfly’s wings in the Amazon can produce a tornado in Texas. That example is extreme but synchronicity in our daily lives happens all the time. You have a song in your head and it comes on the radio; you’re thinking about an old friend and they suddenly call. These moments of serendipity show us when we are on the right path, heading in the right direction or following our proper course. And when we begin to notice them, we start to see them everywhere. 

By learning to recognize the synchronicity in our lives and clearing the clutter that can sometimes fill our inboxes, hands, and heads we make space for those things that are most aligned with our purpose and our path. It is only when our hands and hearts are open that we are free to accept all the wonders the universe has in store for us. 

What moments of synchronicity have you noticed in your own life? How has the universe revealed your path to you? Do you feel like these things are just coincidences or indicative of a higher calling?