Stepping into Power

There is power in stepping into what you believe that you are worth. Staying small and focusing only on what we think is possible for us and in our lives serves no one. It’s a form of settling. This acceptance of less than we truly desire or rightfully believe we deserve is unnecessary. I don’t have an anecdote to share other than the feeling that every time I step into my power I immediately begin drawing to myself the attention and the people I truly want and need in my life.

It is as simple and as hard as arriving as exactly who you are. And it is going to cause some people to reject your ideas and what you stand for and that’s ok. Those people are not for you. Let them sort themselves out of your life as quickly as possible. Avoid the wishy-washy or the weak. You want the people who share your vision and who are able to build you up on your journey.

I remember the poem Masks by Shel Silverstein:

She had blue skin,

And so did he.

He kept it hid And so did she.

They searched for blue

Their whole life through,

Then passed right by-

And never knew. 

Do not wear a mask for the sake of fitting in. You were never meant to fit in. You are meant to stand out. Stand out proudly, bravely, beautifully and uniquely. Seek your people. Find your place. Do not settle for what is mediocre or what you feel like might be easier to manage. There is more for you in the world. Trust the universe and trust in yourself.

As Beyonce says, “If I’m going to bet on anyone, it’s going to be myself!” Bet on you. Choose you. And be you proudly. And have the satisfaction of knowing that the people around you are with you because they love and value you, not because you presented them with a vision of who they were or a costume to fit in. Be yourself. Go forth and Set the world on fire!

Follow Your Own Path

I recently caught up with a friend and got to talking about her child. He decided to switch schools his junior year because he found that the big name, big city school he had chosen and where he thrived – this kiddo is outgoing and chock full of personality. But he found he didn’t feel comfortable there.  So he transferred to a smaller school in a more rural area, closer to home. He has one year of school left and I am incredibly proud of him and the parenting it took to get him to this place. 

Oftentimes we stay in a role – a job, a school, a community – that doesn’t fit us. Not because we love it so much but out of fear for what comes next. We fear leaping in case the net might not appear. And so we stay in situations that are not optimal simply because we are comfortable. Or maybe we’re not comfortable but we know what to expect where we are. Whereas making a change will make the demand on us to learn something new. 

New is scary and overwhelmingly people don’t like change. As Freddy Allen once said, “Everyone wants something different but nobody wants to change.” It’s scary when we aren’t sure what comes next. When we’re considering a big or dramatic change in our lives it’s important to nurture ourselves. Give yourself space, time, kindness. Don’t power through or push ahead if where you are is not the right place. Give yourself the grace to listen to your intuition and only go where it leads.

Trust yourself. Lean into what makes you happy and see what happens. You don’t have to uproot your life, sometimes serendipity does the work for you. Let the universe do it’s work, accept the blessings that come your way and follow where the path leads. Trust your joy. When you’re laughing and having fun, maybe that’s your sign that you’re doing the best thing for you.

There doesn’t always have to be a job offer or a transactional benefit. Sometimes goodness just falls into your lap and you’ve got to be there to catch it. Let your light shine and be your most authentic self. Authenticity is how you draw the wonderful people you want in your life closer to you. Trust the universe, let it take the lead and guide to to where it wants you to go. It’s ok to be the passenger sometimes. When it’s time to move over to the driver’s seat, you’ll know. When the time comes you’ll be ready.

What do You Want This Year’s Story to Be?

I would like my story to be one of joy, authenticity, and arrival. I want the work of the past several years to come to fruition in the most wholesome and honest way possible. I want to build and grow and strive but also to feel completely at home where I am and with what I am doing. I want sunshine and rest. I want joyful productivity, the good and satisfying tired that comes after an honest day’s work. I want my health and wellbeing to be melded into my collective health. I want to carry deeper spirituality. I want to hold the truth of who I am in my heart and engage with the world from that perspective. I want to be confident and forthright. I want to take on the tasks that challenge, delight, and amaze me – I want to grow into exactly who I am and show up where I am meant be.

I want it to be a year of flowering and coming into full bloom. I want it to be a a year of ownership and celebration of my accomplishments and a a pride in my work and success. I want the year to include staying the course and walking my own path, stepping into my destiny. I want gentle sunny afternoons, time with true friends who understand and delight me, conversations that fill me up and give me new ideas to contemplate. I want soul crushing awareness and truth. I want to be who I am in every room I enter. I want to draw towards me those people who are on the same page and who not only support my growth and success but who push me to that next level by being so amazing themselves that they inspire me to rise above where I am to get to where I am going.

I am hopeful, that this year will be the first of many where I walk forward proudly with head held high and with the courage of the battles I have already fought and won. I want this year to be a deep honoring of how far I’ve come and of where I am going. 

Professionally, I want to make new connections and build bonds that further my career. I want to savor and enjoy old friendships that have sculpted me into the woman I am now. I want a victory lap so to speak, an inspiring journey that gives me fortitude, strength, and ownership of every step I take. I want the year to unfold naturally, I want nothing contrived or forced. I want true connection and not speed. I do not want to rush or push, I want to bloom and unfold the layers of life like a gentle rose lifting its petals to the sun. Time is short, life is brief, and that is why I feel we are all compelled to enjoy it now. The dogged urgency with which we pursue our goals and dreams need not be a continuation of capitalism and “the grind.” We need not, “hustle for our worthiness,” but rather step into the arena bearing the message already written on our hearts. Graciously offering what we have to the world and welcoming the love and recognition that comes from being truly seen. 

I want to work towards this authenticity daily. I want to carry this bravery within myself proudly. I want to embrace who I am, what I am about, and show up for my journey prepared but also gently. I am not here to sprint, overwork, or sacrifice my health or wellbeing for accomplishment or recognition – in fact while recognition is lovely this work is a labor of love. My work is an offering, to the universe, to the world, to others, given freely and without expectation. I hope you love it. I hope my work serves you. I hope what I create in some small way changes the world and people’s lives for the better.  More than anything I hope it calls to what is true and honest and deep in you and encourages you to share what bounty and beauty you have inside of yourself.

I do not hope to be the figurehead or the one with, “answers,” for I feel that when you find your own truth, your own answers and solutions appear. I only hope to share the path I have taken so that others may follow as so many have done for me. Much like a cat sitting in the sun I hope to be still, free, and well rested. I hope to stretch, eat well, travel, and have as many adventures necessary to keep life interesting and as many peaceful afternoons necessary to keep me comfortable and at ease. 

Ease is such a large part of this plan as well. My plan is not to overthink or overcomplicate my life with plans that are too ornate or strategies that feel more like plans of attack. I am taking each day one sunrise and sunset at a time. I am enjoying the length of afternoons and the warmth of sunshine. I am resting and focusing on only doing one thing at a time. I am not multi-tasking. This year my hope is to be still, enjoy the journey, and give myself everything I need to thrive. 

That is my hope for this new year, what is yours?

Communicating with Authenticity

One of my resolutions in 2021 was to live with more presence and authenticity, to engage people from where I am and not from a place of insincerity or disingenuousness. 

The first piece is for me to be settled and grounded in who I am and what I am about. This in itself is a challenge as it forces me to slow down, reflect, and honestly consider my personal truth and how I want to show up in the world. I have found that showing up consistently with an open heart is a challenge but it gets easier with practice.

This arrival of myself as my whole self to conversations, meetings, and calls has led to shift in my own perspective. Instead of the performative me showing up, the one that wants to make you laugh, wants you to like me and is willing to compromise right from the beginning in order to make a new friend or please you has faded to the background. Instead when I arrive, I am already full, I know who I am and what I am about and a new question rises to the surface, the question is do I like you? What are you bringing to the table?

Where before I was consumed with how I was perceived I am now stepping into the role of a conscious observer. I am aware of how you are performing and what is being said, the tones and authenticity that others are bringing to our interactions. 

It’s cringe-y when someone does not present their whole self or when I can tell that the person on the other side of the call is being fake or just saying what they want me to hear not what they truly mean. Other times I might not have noticed this but now, now that I am looking at you to see you and not looking at others to see a positive reflection of myself, it comes to my attention. 

I am truly grateful to those with the bravery to show up as themselves with sincerity to conversations. I am disappointed when I am part of a conversation that feels contrived and false but I also can appreciate that not everyone feels comfortable or safe being their authentic selves at work or in the world. I’m grateful that I have taken up this practice. It has already taught me so much and revealed more than I knew I was missing. Like cracking an egg, I’m just now getting to the rich and beautiful insides of connection and communication, what a gift!