Release Responsibility + Control

Spring is in bloom here in Ohio and I am experiencing a creative reawakening. It is a conscious remembering that what we ask for the universe provides. We are showing up in new ways, refreshed and transformed. Making space for those activities that bring me joy and that inspire me. I am no longer available for those activities that drain my energy or leave me feeling unfulfilled. There is a natural resurgence of energy as if spring demands a release of responsibility and control.

To show up authentically we release all of those things we do not need. We are born naked, what can we take off? What do we no longer need to bear the burden of carrying? I have found in life that it is incredibly easy to take on things that are not my own. We collect obligations, tasks, work, and labor. I have held onto many things out of a false sense of responsibility. A desire to fix what is not mine to repair.

I once received a powerful bit of advice from a stranger in passing. She said, “Love is not meant to be held or given, it is meant to flow through us.” In this way all energy and emotion should pass through our lives. The goal is to be porous like sponges, able to absorb only that which is intended for us and release the rest. This allows everything not meant for us to pass quickly without lingering. Another way to think of this message, “those mountains you are carrying, you were only meant to climb.” 

Author Anne Lamott asks, “What is help if not the sunny side of control?” Releasing control is the greatest gift we can offer to ourselves and others. To release control we remember that our value is not tied to our productivity or performance. We all have intrinsic value. When we purge all of the things that are no longer ours we make space for the relationships, experiences, and gifts that we are intended to receive. We trust that that which is meant for us will come to us. We need not be responsible for more than our fair share of work or duty. Our value is not tied to our labor or our misplaced obligations to fix, repair, or care for others. 

We are here to create and give the best of ourselves to the world. As we create our own paths, let use put down the mountains we have carried. Let us climb them instead and leave all of the extra weight that rightfully belongs to other people for them to manage. This spring we are no longer bearing the burden of someone else’s mistakes or issues. Each of us is free to manifest our own destiny, no longer encumbered by the burden of false responsibility or control. We are free. 

Doesn’t the relief feel incredible? 

Follow Your Own Path

I have been thinking lately about following your path by only accepting into our lives that which resonates. Honoring ourselves by focusing our energy on experiences that feel like joy, happiness, peace, and love helps us to follow our path. There are some simple steps that we can take to amplify these experiences in our lives.

Listening to the Universe + Your Inner Voice

I start by paying attention to the messages the universe is sending me. If you’re having trouble hearing what the universe has to say, try subtracting distractions until something clicks. A guided meditation or breathing exercise can be enough to free your attention to hear your own thoughts. 

Take One Small Step

My next move is to just take one tiny step forward. Maybe it’s folding a blanket or getting dressed, painting something small or just writing out a few words. Just try whatever feels right or you are inspired to do that gets your momentum moving. You’ve listened to the universe, heard what it’s saying, and now you’ve acted on it. These are small but powerful movements towards our own happiness.

Do the Next Right Thing

After that momentum is initiated just do whatever feels right next. I don’t have a formula or strategy beyond that. Of course, the next right thing may be to create a five year plan but it’s also just as likely the next right thing is to clear out your inbox, each of those options is valid and necessary. 

Basically, what matters is that you’re moving toward your own path and inspiration. Our job is not to do everything at once, or to race someone else to the finish line. You are allowed to take your time. When your moment arrives you will be ready. Choosing what resonates with us makes sure we are only welcoming experiences, people and situations that serve us on our journey. While it sounds simple to follow your path is the most challenging and fulfilling work we do in life. We all bloom at the exact right time for us.

What do You Want This Year’s Story to Be?

I would like my story to be one of joy, authenticity, and arrival. I want the work of the past several years to come to fruition in the most wholesome and honest way possible. I want to build and grow and strive but also to feel completely at home where I am and with what I am doing. I want sunshine and rest. I want joyful productivity, the good and satisfying tired that comes after an honest day’s work. I want my health and wellbeing to be melded into my collective health. I want to carry deeper spirituality. I want to hold the truth of who I am in my heart and engage with the world from that perspective. I want to be confident and forthright. I want to take on the tasks that challenge, delight, and amaze me – I want to grow into exactly who I am and show up where I am meant be.

I want it to be a year of flowering and coming into full bloom. I want it to be a a year of ownership and celebration of my accomplishments and a a pride in my work and success. I want the year to include staying the course and walking my own path, stepping into my destiny. I want gentle sunny afternoons, time with true friends who understand and delight me, conversations that fill me up and give me new ideas to contemplate. I want soul crushing awareness and truth. I want to be who I am in every room I enter. I want to draw towards me those people who are on the same page and who not only support my growth and success but who push me to that next level by being so amazing themselves that they inspire me to rise above where I am to get to where I am going.

I am hopeful, that this year will be the first of many where I walk forward proudly with head held high and with the courage of the battles I have already fought and won. I want this year to be a deep honoring of how far I’ve come and of where I am going. 

Professionally, I want to make new connections and build bonds that further my career. I want to savor and enjoy old friendships that have sculpted me into the woman I am now. I want a victory lap so to speak, an inspiring journey that gives me fortitude, strength, and ownership of every step I take. I want the year to unfold naturally, I want nothing contrived or forced. I want true connection and not speed. I do not want to rush or push, I want to bloom and unfold the layers of life like a gentle rose lifting its petals to the sun. Time is short, life is brief, and that is why I feel we are all compelled to enjoy it now. The dogged urgency with which we pursue our goals and dreams need not be a continuation of capitalism and “the grind.” We need not, “hustle for our worthiness,” but rather step into the arena bearing the message already written on our hearts. Graciously offering what we have to the world and welcoming the love and recognition that comes from being truly seen. 

I want to work towards this authenticity daily. I want to carry this bravery within myself proudly. I want to embrace who I am, what I am about, and show up for my journey prepared but also gently. I am not here to sprint, overwork, or sacrifice my health or wellbeing for accomplishment or recognition – in fact while recognition is lovely this work is a labor of love. My work is an offering, to the universe, to the world, to others, given freely and without expectation. I hope you love it. I hope my work serves you. I hope what I create in some small way changes the world and people’s lives for the better.  More than anything I hope it calls to what is true and honest and deep in you and encourages you to share what bounty and beauty you have inside of yourself.

I do not hope to be the figurehead or the one with, “answers,” for I feel that when you find your own truth, your own answers and solutions appear. I only hope to share the path I have taken so that others may follow as so many have done for me. Much like a cat sitting in the sun I hope to be still, free, and well rested. I hope to stretch, eat well, travel, and have as many adventures necessary to keep life interesting and as many peaceful afternoons necessary to keep me comfortable and at ease. 

Ease is such a large part of this plan as well. My plan is not to overthink or overcomplicate my life with plans that are too ornate or strategies that feel more like plans of attack. I am taking each day one sunrise and sunset at a time. I am enjoying the length of afternoons and the warmth of sunshine. I am resting and focusing on only doing one thing at a time. I am not multi-tasking. This year my hope is to be still, enjoy the journey, and give myself everything I need to thrive. 

That is my hope for this new year, what is yours?