Tag: challenge

Perspective Impacts Experience

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I recently attended a writer’s workshop where the focus was on developing our craft, the publishing process, and how to get to the next level with our writing. I attended a talk where the speakers were friends. Instead of supporting each other’s best perspectives they dragged on another down. Both respected and known authors in their fields, they had independently achieved a certain amount of success. However, instead of talking about their accomplishments and celebrating them they instead chose to focus on how hard won those victories were.

While there is much to be said for honesty in a public forum and not sugarcoating the process to those in the audience it could have been defeating. The talk overly focused on the setbacks, challenges, and rejection that can be part of pursuing a writing career. Rather than giving hope, the speakers could not see beyond their personal hardship. They described their experiences as writers and anxiety ridden, full of disappointment, and rejection. 

As a counter to that, we all know that every path is challenging. As Tom Hanks told us in A League of the Their Own, “the hard is what makes it great.” But if you can’t enjoy being invited to speak at an industry event, and feel flattered or honored perhaps the wins are lost on you. Perhaps your perspective needs a tune up. Because to those of us in the audience being on stage and invited to speak is a very real victory. Several attendees spoke in the hall about having no interest in hearing about the challenges. We all know the challenges. We want to know how you came to be where you are as a respected industry expert. And if you can’t see your victory from up on a stage, chances are you never will, unless you make some real changes to your perspective. 

Perhaps that is the deeper lesson, how profoundly your perspective impacts your experience. We cannot enjoy the good if we are not looking for it. Instead of allowing our challenges to embitter us let us use them to motivate us as we move forward. We overcame so much to get here – isn’t that incredible? And this is true of every person in every room, not only those on stage. You made it here – that is worthy of joy and celebration!

Build Your Dream

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Be still and the Universe will bring the right people and the right opportunities into your life. Do your amazing work, bloom exactly where you are planted. Focus on yourself and your own calling. Do not be distracted as distraction is your test. You never know what opportunities will show up on your doorstep and the best way to prepare for these moments is to do your own work and mind your own business. Stay true to the work you are doing and build your dream. 

When you are doing the work that you are chosen and called to perform synchronicity clicks into place. Utilize your creativity. Work at the top of your intelligence. The universe conspires for your success. 

Like water our role is simply to follow the path of least resistance. Water flows to sea level following the easiest route it can find. Water does not run uphill but wears away obstacles with the patience of time. What a fantastic example for how to pursue your goals! Do what makes sense and what comes next. Simply do the the next right thing, whatever that is for you. By doing those things that you know rather than waiting for direction, or for some decree on high, you communicate to the universe that you are ready. You have found your vibration. 

Do not wait until someone instructs you or gives you permission, give yourself those gifts. Simply do what you already know comes next, take ownership and responsibility for your own work.

Building a dream can be challenging but it should never feel like you’re working against the grain – go with your gut and do your best. Pursue your dreams doggedly but do not give yourself or your power to someone else. Always put yourself, your goals, and your plans first.

If you do not pursue your own dreams there is always someone willing to pay you to help them achieve theirs. If you must work for someone else, do so with full knowledge that you are getting them and their goals ahead. And when you are ready to pursue your own projects give the same attention and effort to your own work. If possible give more, because your work deserves your best. After all your work is a representation of you out in the world. Build your dream. Show it. Shine a light on it. You are worthy of love and attention!

Give to Yourself First

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We give so much of ourselves to the world – our families, friends, work, and extracurriculars. All of the obligations and opportunities we engage in demand our time, attention, and commitment. As we work to give the best of our capabilities and ourselves to these worthy projects and duties it is important to remember to give the best of yourself to yourself. 

In the trials of daily life – that may actually be trials, challenges and difficulties but may also be routines, opportunities, and responsibilities – we have the opportunity to give away all that we have to others and the world. Or we have the choice to intentionally nourish ourselves so that these regular or typical events do not drain us and leave us feeling winded or in need of a break.

When we rush to fulfill everyone else’s expectations first we can find ourself depleted and lacking energy because we have saved nothing for ourselves. However, when we serve ourselves first we create space and give ourselves room to be nurtured and supported. If we never stop for water we will die long before we finish the race. Like any trained marathoner we know that to pursue our goals, and show up in the world the way we want to, we have to feed ourselves and meet our needs first. This can include basic self-care like hydration or getting enough sleep. It can also look like taking a night off, giving yourself a weekend away, or a social media detox. 

Making time to care for yourself is not selfish, nor is it a luxury. Caring for yourself is your first responsibility – not to the world or your employer – but to yourself. The adage, you cannot pour from an empty cup, comes to mind. Or the idea that when you are spent you have nothing left to give. There is no sense in running yourself ragged. If you choose to overexert yourself you will be always operating on a deficit, which serves no one. In order to arrive each day excited and eager to engage with the world rather than exhausted and resentful we must take care of ourselves. I know this from experience and I suspect you do too. When we press ourselves beyond our abilities or function with less than what we need from others, ourselves, or without the basic nourishment and boundaries that keep us healthy, we are unhappy. We are short and frustrated and oftentimes we’re too tired to investigate why. 

Next time, instead of running yourself harder when you already feel tired, take a break. Get a sip of water and take some deep breaths. Give yourself the space and time you need to recalibrate and align yourself with your goals. Rather than running around in circles or showing up worse for the wear, take a break and stretch, focus on caring for yourself not because you wish to serve others but because you are worthy and deserving of love, care, and attention – all of those wonderful things you already give to the world.