Serenity this Holiday Season

In the holiday rush and excitement it seems there is always one more thing to do. Another quick stop at the grocery store, one more gift, and one last batch of cookies. We are in the midst of the season and I am finding myself wanting to slow down. There’s this anticipation for the holidays that I don’t think we ever outgrow, this desire to celebrate, gather, and unite. But even in the midst of carols, cheer, and cards – I am finding myself longing for simplicity. I have high hopes for serenity this holiday season.

It seems every moment of this time of year is allocated to more than one thing. Watching White Christmas while wrapping presents, and sipping a fine scotch is a tradition that one of our couple friends enjoy. It’s lovely and it’s all of the things at one time. I like to make cookies, listen to carols, and let the kiddos help. This increases the challenge of any undertaking. But last night was a low key night – pizza and a roaring fire. We all cuddled up and colored in coloring books.

Each of us had our own design and we shared colored pencils. The tree was aglow, there were carols on in the kitchen, we did not plan this. It was a serendipitous moment in time but we were all present and engaged. I’d be lying if I did not admit there was some bickering over who got the red next. But overwhelmingly it was lovely. 

And that magic is what I’m after. My hopes for serenity are answered in the surprise of a quiet family evening at home. The delight of being together and having one another close. It was a seasonal moment because without the cold there would be no fire or decorated tree without Christmas coming – but they were all there, we were all home. We were not rushing toward some accomplishment, a lesson, duty, or obligation. We are all present and celebrating the season in our own small way. It didn’t cost us anything and the moment was lovely, it was sweet, serene, and holy. And I am going to savor that moment for a long time.

It was so good, I completely forgot to take a picture –  but I’m writing about it here so we don’t forget that when looking for a pause and a break from the carousel that is the holiday season, one brunch and party after another it can be such a gift to sit still on the bench and just watch the show together. What a gift that we are not alone, that we have one another, and that we do not need to perform our joy or show off our happiness. We could just enjoy the company of our family, talk and compliment one another’s creativity, and be together in this moment in time. That is a gift for which I am truly grateful.

Do you have hopes for serenity this season? What makes the holidays special for you? Are there any quiet traditions you love or that you’re hoping to start this year? If you’re looking for ideas there’s a list posted here.

Friendsgiving

Our friends are packing up and making their ways to our home as I type. We started cooking last night and prepared all of the dishes in advance. I am about to pop downstairs to put out the appetizers. Everything else is warmed, the house is clean, and it’s time to get dressed. I am feeling this urge to wear clothes that are not for going out but for staying cozy at home. I suspect that I feel this way because I am finally spending time with people who feel like true friends. This Friendsgiving I am eager and excited but I am also calm and comfortable. 

Sharing my space with people who I like and admire feels good. We’re setting the tone for days to come – intentionally choosing our company, our relationships, and to honor ourselves before we honor obligations. It can be tricky this time of year!

The day has been wonderful and fulfilling. To be surrounded by those that mean the most to me and to share this time with them is invaluable. And I am grateful. It is a gift to have time for meditation that puts me in the exact right frame of mind and I am grateful for my partner who helps, leads, and loves with the purest and most beautiful heart. Although my children are full of excited and frenetic energy this afternoon they are also full of thoughtful gestures like reading together. If you’re wondering it’s, “The boy, the Mole, the Horse, and the Fox,” it is a perfect day for that book. If you haven’t yet, I hope you’ll read it!

It snowed this morning, my eldest put Christmas music on for the first time this season and we are about to have company over – I cannot wait. What a gift to be here and now, present and imperfect in this moment. I am sending my hugs and hopes that this season lands gently. That you enjoy everything as you wish and you honor yourself first. Celebrating the season however you see fit and in whatever way brings you contentment and joy.

Give Yourself the Gift of Joy

I am feeling peaceful and calm, gently aware of where I am in the world. I am meditating but the impact is less aggressive because I am not going right from meditation to writing. I have also eliminated my little chocolate treat post-meditation and I miss it. I enjoy a gentle reward after I reflect and bless my day with introspection. I have been enjoying this new home so much that I haven’t created much space yet for taking it all in. I have been making choices, organizing bins and objects. Transferring items from old packages into new and refreshing our belongings by eliminating those pieces that do not bring me joy. I mix a little of all theories here – Is an item useful? Is it beautiful? Does it bring me joy? If not, I remove it from my collection. Allowances are made for exercise equipment that is arguably useful but certainly does not bring me any particular joy. 

I also try to remember that holding on to something because it reminds me of someone is not a good reason to keep anything. I once read, “Throwing out a sweater from your grandmother is not throwing out your grandmother,” and that sentiment really resonated with me. Because I have so many possessions that were generously given but hold no real value for me. Obviously family heirlooms are kept or shared with someone else who will appreciate them more than I. Photograph collections are digitized or placed in albums for the next generation. But even I know holding on to images for the images sake does not serve me. If I have an image that brings me joy I save it – but images that meant something to someone else are not mine to hold and I set them free to be recycled or saved by someone else to whom they mean something.

I am also doing something different with this move. I am bringing all of my possessions of a similar category together so that I may see how much of these items I have collected over the years. It’s one thing to have pictures, shoes, or Christmas decorations housed in various closets and storage areas throughout your home – it’s another thing to see the growing pile of family photos take up half of a room. It really puts into perspective how easy and how much stuff we gather as we go and how sometimes it is ok to let these things go. For me, it is seeing the abundance of those possessions that makes the letting go easier. If I can clearly see that I have several cookie sheets, it’s a lot easier to get rid of the rusty ones – even if they were made by a fine manufacturer. 

Seeing all of my stuff together in one place has also given me the freedom to appreciate, compare and contrast. Do I love these table cloths? Or do I only love them for that one event I hosted several years ago that was a ton of fun but I have not used them since? And do I like this glassware or is it out because I don’t want to damage the really nice stuff – in which case, what am I waiting for? I have champagne flutes I absolutely adore. I refuse to take them out in case one of them breaks. Or I am waiting for the right celebration. Well, the special occasion is life. I’m done denying myself simple pleasures and so out go the cheap glasses I never really liked and in come the beautiful and elegant glasses that make me feel fancy and posh. 

I have also ordered stationery for our new home – I have christened our new home with a name. It suits the property and house. I have always wanted a house with a name and I am done waiting for someone else to name it. I love having a home with a title. I’m delighted by stationery and cannot wait to write my grocery lists on customized paper that has our property name at the top. It is a simple pleasure that thrills me and I am finally ready to give myself permission to live freely and as I want. I feel like deep down inside of me my inner child is dancing, singing, and wearing fairy wings and lots of sparkles. 

What a joy to be in a place in my life where I can give myself these simple gifts and pleasures. What a welcome moment to have finally reached, where I can savor and enjoy being alive without penalizing myself. I can make my own life nice without waiting for permission or approval. This knowledge in action is freeing and liberating. How simple it is to be kind to ourselves and how silly it is that we spend so much time denying ourselves the very things that will bring us the most happiness. 

What sweet little gifts have you given yourself lately? Are there any simple pleasures you enjoy that you have been denying yourself? What would happen if you gave yourself that small indulgence?