Tag: drive

Goal Setting: Getting Started

Leave a comment

Today is a day of new beginnings or at least getting started. I am preparing to step forward into plans that I have been making for some time. The goals are big dreams that I have been hard at work building, in some cases, for years. The progress towards this moment has been incremental and small, ongoing and labor intensive. It’s not sexy but it’s the only way I know to get ahead. The practical steps are the keys to my success and my feeling of anticipation today is a lot like standing on a diving board. 

I have filled the pool with opportunities and all I have to do is dive into the water to swim. My small practical steps have made this moment possible; Changing habits, conservative choices focused on long term goals, and planning. There is a lot of work that goes on before we ever get to the precipice. I have found the words of Walt Disney to be particularly applicable to this process, “Everyone needs deadlines.” I might not make my deadline but by virtue of having one I do make consistent progress toward it. 

Deadlines keep me aware of the timeline of my growth. If I only say, “someday,” and not “Five years from now,” I’ve created paradox where I could accomplish that goal any day from now until my death and it will always remain “some day.” However, when I have a five year deadline I see all the things that go into that goal, the little steps, the new learning, the coaching, and experimenting. All of the necessary and unsexy failures that will go into the big changes to make them possible and all of the hours that I will need to devote and I realize that five years is not that much time. 

Five years in the grand scheme of things is a very brief period of time. It is a lifetime to children and all they cram into the first five years of their lives is monumental. Consider an infant and then a reading, walking, talking, creative, and potty trained Kindergartener who has preferences, interests, and opinions. Someone who five years ago had only the raw materials for cognitive growth and development. That child had to make something of every experience, interaction, and engagement to become the person they are at five. That is much the same for us and our goals. 

All we know is that we have a goal and we only have five years to accomplish it. Maybe it will take longer than five years to achieve. Maybe we will face unexpected challenges, delays, or obstacles but when we give ourselves a limited time period in which to work we give ourselves the thrust we need to move forward now. 

We have to step forward because to delay would make us late for our deadline. If you’re late for your flight you miss it. But if you’re late for a personal deadline we learn something. Whether we move forward towards our goals or not the time is going to pass. To me it just feels better to look back and see progress.

I recently found a goal list my partner and I created outlining our plans for 2020. We had one goal, to get our house ready to sell. And then we brainstormed a dream house. We wrote a list of all the things we wanted in our future home and what it would look like, feel like, need to be our perfect home. And here I sit reading through the list in awe. All but three items on that full page list were included in our current home. That is something to celebrate and something to acknowledge – we made that possible. 

We set a goal and gave ourselves a deadline and we missed it by a year – we wrote the list at the end of 2019 for 2020 and then COVID hit, an unforeseen and unprecedented challenge. We were grateful for our cozy home and to have a safe and clean place to live. But facing that challenge we recalibrated, realigned, reaffirmed our commitment to the goal of a new home. In 2021 – we moved. 

We moved into a home that checks the majority of our boxes. We could not have predicted COVID all we could predict was that the time would pass whether we took the initiative or didn’t. Fortunately, we took the initiative and because of that we get to live our dream instead of just holding it. And I will confess looking around myself and seeing my dreams come to life is significantly more satisfying than holding them close and never diving in to see what might happen. You don’t need to finish everything at once but sometimes giving yourself a shorter amount of time to accomplish a goal gives you just the right push to get it done.

What dreams do have that you have given yourself a timeline to complete? Do you set one year, five year, or ten year goals? How do you stay accountable to accomplish them?

How to Pursue an Intimidating Dream

2 Comments

I love the rejuvenating energy of early summer. The promise of fresh flowers, vegetables, and colors. I love the morning dew and how every leaf in my strawberry bed seems to be hiding some sweetness ready to be picked and devoured by my children. It always inspires me to dream bigger and imagine another fresh beginning for myself. It’s so exciting to dream bigger. I once read that if your dreams don’t scare you, you’re not dreaming big enough and it spoke to me. But I also realized that there are some very specific steps to take when we have a dream that is big, bold and beautiful that terrifies us. I want to share what I do when I get myself imagining some incredible things but need a little courage to go after it.

When a goal is definitely for me but I am hesitant to pursue it, out of fear or intimidation. I do the small things around it. A supplemental goal here, a similar but not quite goal there. I take smaller steps,  incremental progress is not substantial enough to scare me. I do just enough to move forward and slowly but surely that larger goal doesn’t seem so terrifying and it gets done too because the rest of the work is already complete.

Another way I face a goal that seems daunting or overwhelming is that I write out my fears and answer them. I write down all of the scary ideas that are floating around in my head. For example, 

“Will this be embarrassing? What if I fail? What if someone judges me and finds my work wanting?” 

And then I reply, “It could be embarrassing, so what? Will you die? No. Embarrassment has yet to kill anyone. If I fail I learn. And then I will be more prepared for whatever comes next. And there are always judges ready to heckle our work. Criticism is easy, showing up and stepping into the arena is hard – that’s why there are so many critics and so few artists. It’s hard because it matters. It’s on your list because it is your calling and your life’s work. You wouldn’t show up to do it if it weren’t important. And if you are judged perhaps you will help someone else to be brave by being first brave yourself. And who cares what someone else says, you do this work for you and you love it, if you’re proud of it, it does not matter what anyone else says about it.”

It’s incredibly empowering to give yourself guidance and a pep talk like this. It doesn’t have to be perfect, we don’t have to be perfect. We just need to hear that truth inside of us ringing clear and loud like a bell. That inner wisdom is giving us permission to show up and try. And oftentimes that is all the push I need to take the next step forward.

I hope these two little tips serve you and help you push past your inner critic to own and chase down those sacred dreams you hold in your heart. You have them for a reason, don’t let fear stop you from shining as brightly as possible. You are here to change the world and I can’t wait to watch you do it! 

Clearing the Clutter: Breaking Up with an Old Dream

Leave a comment

To create a new beginning something has to end. Many days I meditate on the the theme of clearing the clutter but today I moved actual boxes. I did the mental work first, the figurative exercise to create mental space, and to free my mind from the obligations that seem to fill up my brain and leave me with no additional bandwidth to perform the actual work. All of those exercises led me to the actual labor of lifting and moving actual boxes that had found a resting place in the middle of my office. 

The space is wide open and I feel lighter, freer, less weighed down by obligations and to-do items. I recently spent some time away with friends and we talked out our visions and plans for the future. We discussed our goals and our dreams for what our lives could look like in the next five or ten years. It was powerful deep dive stuff. My friend shared that she has some big picture goals for herself and her business but she doesn’t feel ready to pursue them. I want to share what I said to my dear and life-long friend with you – that is ok too!

It is ok to have dreams that we hold off on pursuing. We often feel a sense of urgency to complete tasks. This may come from competition with others or a desire to check something off our to-do lists. But sometimes we don’t want to do something because it is not right for us. Sometimes what felt like an incredible and exciting goal turns out to be adjacent to our path but not on our journey. And that’s ok. 

Fear in creativity is important, it tells us when we truly care about something. Sometimes though when we write and reflect we learn that that goal is no longer for us. That too is a victory, we have learned something important. Just because you have had something on your list for a long time does not mean you have to finish it. If you come to a place where it’s time to step forward or let a dream go, you can let it go. You are not obligated to complete every dream or every goal you imagine. Maybe you needed that inspiration to motivate you but now that particular goal, or version of that goal, is no longer necessary and that’s ok. It is ok to let go of something you don’t want. You don’t need to do it just to prove that you can. You’re not giving up on yourself or on every dream, you are simply recognizing that that goal is no longer meant for you. You are doing enough. You have done enough. 

You do not need to take on anyone else’s goal or anyone else’s vision, even if that goal belonged to a past version of yourself. That person did not know what you know now. That person did not have the steps behind them that you have. They made the best decision with the information they had at the time and now you know more. You are further up the mountain, your view is better and your knowledge enhanced.

Trust your gut – if you’re afraid, take small steps and see how quickly the dominoes fall. If you’re hesitating because a step is not right for you, pause, reflect, and if necessary recalibrate and move on. Once you release that item your list you have freed yourself to imagine new and bigger dreams that truly fit the path that you are on. It frees you to follow your right path. Sometimes it is just time to put things away and clear the space for whatever comes next and that is truly brave.

How do you reflect and recalibrate before moving forward? How do you choose your path with intention? What is a goal you had to leave behind in order to move forward?