Tag: ease

Embracing Ease this Holiday Season

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As we come to the close of the year it is easy to get wrapped up (forgive the pun) in doing everything. So much so that we begin to experience less and less joy in the season. We get consumed by deadlines, vacation schedules, and school performances. There are holiday social and professional obligations, rites of passage, and traditions to observe. Whether we are active in our faith, film, or theater community there will be a moment when we are called to reflect on the meaning of the season. Perhaps meaning is something that transcends all belief systems.

Meaning that cozy, hygge awareness that the rush to do everything strips value from the small generosities that are available to us every day. There’s a lot of, “yes and,” thinking these days. We are no longer one thing we are able to be everything at once. If that feels wonderful to you I’m so glad. If, like me, it feels a little overwhelming to be all the things all the time then I hope you’ll join me in letting go of obligations while keeping the meaning this season. 

What is one thing you can let go of or at least put off? Could you send Valentines or New Year’s cards instead of holiday update letters? Could you make hot chocolate and watch a movie instead of a gingerbread house building day where you bake cookies from scratch? Or could you just buy the readymade kits with icing? How can you honor yourself and the season?

The goal of the holidays is not to “Win.” The only prize of this time of year is being fully present and enveloped in the moment. And we can only do that one instant at a time. Maybe you leave one box of ornaments in the basement this year. Maybe you bake the cookies from the freezer section. The memories are not in the complicated logistics. It is not by exhausting ourselves or exerting superhuman energy that we get to enjoy the holiday season. 

Many of us are opting for a simpler season and embracing ease. A more gentle close to the year that honors our celebrations and also our collective need for rest. Pushing ourselves to always perform or do more is a fast track to burn out. And when we are burnt out we are too tired to savor and enjoy.

So as we enter this holiday season I encourage you to embrace simplicity and ease. What is one less thing you can do? And if one seems too little, what five things can you take off of your list? Give yourself and your loved ones the gift of ease this season. Release yourself from the pressures to perform, host, and curate. Instead relax, read a holiday themed book, or watch a movie.

My gift to you is this space we share where my only wish is for your season to hold all the deepest meaning and joy with no effort whatsoever.

Guided Meditation

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Stress is a common part of modern life. Perhaps it’s one topic or several but when we’re overwhelmed we’re not our best selves. And that’s ok, one great way to ground ourselves and get calm is through a guided meditation. You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to do everything on your own. As Ina Garten reminds us, “Store bought is fine.”

We start by not holding ourselves to an impossible standard. Instead let someone else guide you toward the calm or frame of mind you wish to embody. Relinquish control and the self-imposed responsibility to be perfect. Spoiler – none of us are perfect. So on days when things are feeling particularly chaotic or you’re feeling overwhelmed with emotions or demands let go. Give yourself a break and choose a guided meditation to to not only soothe your nerves but also to remind you of the path you have chosen for yourself. 

One of the really lovely things about paying attention to our bodies and our mental state is that we notice when something is awry. Rather than behaving in ways that are not true to ourselves we’re able to stop and refocus. We are able to prevent ourselves from acting out. Whenever I feel as if I am getting carried away with emotion or stress that is my body’s signal, I need to meditate. And, whenever possible, take the easy route and let someone else guide your focus. When we’re already worked up it’s hard to get into a calm frame of mind. It’s ok to look elsewhere for coaching – it’s how we level up our self-care. Guided meditations are an easy way to get out of a negative mindset and escape the pressure to be perfect.

How do you level up your self-care?

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Treating Each Day Like a Vacation Day

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Not every day can be vacation but I’ve noticed when I start the day with a relaxed mind-set – I’m happier. When a day is for work, the guiding principal seems to be, “utilize every moment for impactful activities and choices.” I enjoy the day a lot less. There is more joy in the day when we focus on meeting our own needs first.

When I begin the day focused on work I find myself rushing, begrudging the tasks that I complete. Stressing out because I can only complete so many unpleasant tasks in a day. Doing things simply for the result of getting them done I find myself begrudging every extra step. Since life is primarilymade up of a multitude of mundane moments this can get pretty overwhelming fast.

The day takes on a pleasant energy when I focus on what I like to do instead. On a “vacation day,” I am already only doing what I want. Doing what brings me joy. Some days it is simply letting myself read a book or popping out to a yoga class. It’s a small chocolate or another herbal tea. These are simple pleasures. Rather than making myself feel worse for choosing something I’d like to do I simply do it. I don’t rush myself, I don’t guilt myself and I refuse to pressure myself to do it quickly. Reading a few chapters of a good book is delightful. Allowing myself to rest before I burn out is impactful and powerful. Doing these activities puts me in a growth mindset rather than a stagnant one.

To be clear I am NOT doing these things in order to be more productive. But I do find it easier to complete unpleasant tasks when I am coming from a place of rest, comfort, ease and satisfaction. We feel good when our needs are being met. It is a pleasure to go through the day as if it were a vacation day. It gives a little breathing room and creates opportunities to treat ourselves well.

How to you organize your day? Do you force yourself to stay on task or do you allow your day to unfold more naturally?

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Synchroncity

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Today I am feeling the synchronicity of life in full force. It is a glorious sunshine-y, nearly seventy degree day at the end of March. Reveling in light and beauty my list of gratitudes stretches. When we are living in alignment with our purpose it feels as if blessings just seem to come our way. The reality is that the experience of synchronicity is the universe’s way of showing us we are on the right path.

Sitting in the midst of abundance we can feel the universe both pulling and pushing us forward. New ideas crop up, we’re inspired to call an old friend, connections that were previously unseen reveal themselves. So often when we are walking a path that is not intended for us we are confronted with obstacles. We feel frustrated, lonely, and tired. It’s easy to start thinking life is supposed to be difficult. We start to believe that if our journey is easy it’s not as valuable. But what if that’s not true?

Today I would encourage you to reflect on the synchronicity of your own life. Maybe even consider taking the easy path – whatever that looks like for you. What if all of the images we hold of the universe or our path do not need to be tied to practicality? Have you considered if the universe favors whimsy, joy, light, and limitless potential?

The forces that created animals, sand, and star dust very clearly love variety. If the universe wanted us to be creatively stilted and bored – wouldn’t there be just one kind of  snowflake? Instead of millions of varied combinations that we can observe and many we will never see at all. Creation then is not for our enjoyment but simply for the joy of it. The purpose is not for our work to be seen or shared (or difficult) but for the simple delight of creating. Isn’t it worth considering if that is our purpose too? To have fun, create things, and enjoy them. Perhaps it’s possible to take the easy way and have that be enough.

As I feel momentum pushing me towards the right path I am filled with delight, curiosity, and anticipation. I am eager for what comes next and happy to be a part of the cosmic magic that makes life so richly expansive. I hope you’ll join me in taking the easier path and creating something amazing this week. 

If you’d like to see a little bit of what I’ve been creating lately please pop over to the fine art section or buy my latest book.

Slowing Down With Lavender Shortbread Cookies

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In honor of slowing down, today I’m sharing my recipe for lavender shortbread cookies. We’re all tired and I thought a little cookie could go a long way towards brightening someone else’s day. As snow falls outside the windows and I am once again reminded of my deep gratitude for cozy blankets, and thick socks.

This time of year is always a wonderful opportunity for reflection and hygge. As I cuddle up to write, under my warm blanket I find myself seeking ways in which to share this feeling with all of you – and I can think of no better way than to share a delicious cookie recipe. It comes from the creative geniuses at Hedgebrook, a writing community devoted to Women Authoring Change. If you haven’t seen their work before, I cannot recommend it highly enough. I’ve taken several of their online courses over the past few years and always find them valuable and enriching – this cookie recipe is much the same. 

When it’s cold outside I don’t need excuse to crank up the oven and fill the house with the cozy and homey smells of dinner and dessert baking. And since I cannot deliver these cookies to you myself, I want to share how I did it so that you may enjoy them too. 

Winter is a wonderful season of rest and renewal, I hope you let its goodness soak into you and nourish you deeply. Here in the midwest we don’t corner the market on hygge living but we do make an art of thriving in adverse conditions. It’s not always easy to stay joyful after a weeklong streak of dark days or heavy snowfall but having a hot chocolate, a fire, and a good book to cuddle up with always works wonders to lift my mood. I hope these cookies are just the ticket to help you slow down and savor the delights of the season. 

Rest, recover, take your time, and give yourself the gift of ease, you don’t even need to crack an egg. Sending you warm thoughts and wishes this winter! – M

Lavender Shortbread

2 Cups Flour (All Purpose)

1/4 teaspoon coarse salt (I used pink to add color)

1/2 pound (two sticks) unsalted butter at room temperature

1/2 Cup granulated sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon culinary lavender buds (I used some I had dried from our garden last summer – more on that here)

Sift flour and coarse salt together into a small bowl and set aside.

Beat butter on medium speed in an electric mixer (I used our Kitchen-Aid) for 3 to 5 minutes.

Add sugar, vanilla, and lavender buds continuing to beat for an additional 2 minutes. The mixture will lighten in color.

Add flour and salt mixture and combine on low speed until flour is just incorporated and dough sticks together when it is squeezed between fingers. Don’t forget to scrape down the sides of your mixing bowl and incorporate the grainy bits at the bottom.

On a sheet of wax paper, pat and form the dough into a log – about 12 – 14 inches long and 1 to 1 1/2 inches in diameter. If you prefer square or rectangular cookies flatten the sides as you roll it up in the wax paper. 

Chill in the fridge until firm, at least 1 hour. (I took a reading break.)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Remove the wax paper from the dough and slice the log into 1/4 inch thick slices. Lay cookies onto backing sheets (you can line the sheets with parchment paper, I forgot and they turned out fine).  Bake until firm 17 to 20 minutes. Cool completely on wire racks. May be stored in an airtight container for 3 to 4 weeks.

Fall Rhythms + Natural Momentum

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As we come to fall the natural rhythm of life is slowing down. The leaves are falling from the tree tops, squirrels and frantically harvesting and burying acorns and nuts for the long winter months. And it seems like around me the world is speeding up. School has started, we must gear up for the holidays. We have duties, obligations, and responsibilities. It is a lot and it is enough. I recently watched a Ted Talk, by Dr. Darria Long, on triaging your life.

The presentation was mainly about facing our challenges from a place of quiet confidence rather than angst or haste. In an emergency room minutes stretch and instead of reacting quickly what is called for is calm and intentional decision making. When I sprint from task to task attempting to get things done I find myself stretched thin. I get frustrated because as I move quickly – sending out a text – replies are pouring in before I can move on to the next task. Before you know an item that should only take a couple minutes has taken fifteen or twenty. Which leaves me scrambling to make up that time later. 

However, when I prioritize and move slowly I am not less productive. I am more intentional. I recently added the ability to subscribe to this blog – spoiler, I was my first subscriber. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe! As I viewed my post via email I noticed how longwinded I have a tendency to be. Writing out the same explanation several different ways. And while it is helpful to see different examples sometimes less is more. My point is better made with a few well written sentences than in paragraphs devoted to the same idea. 

This realization is hard won. I had to learn it before I could improve upon it. And as I write and learn, I promise this blog and all of my work will continue to improve. A big part of that growth is taking the time to rest and recover. The year is winding down and we are all preparing for winter. This next season reminds us that nothing blooms all year. We all need time to relax. 

And as our to do lists stretch longer I hope you’ll take the time to assess and consider what is important to you. What do you truly want to do and be a part of? There are so many opportunities for distraction. I hope you choose to take this fall as a change of your own season, an opportunity to move more intentionally and slowly, not only to be more impactful and effective in your work. But also because we are all worthy and deserving of rest. We do not need to be forever achieving or completing tasks to have value. Simply being is enough. Our value is intrinsic, it is not tangled up with our productivity. Let’s remember that and honor our natural rhythm, take it slow this fall. 

Friendsgiving

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Our friends are packing up and making their ways to our home as I type. We started cooking last night and prepared all of the dishes in advance. I am about to pop downstairs to put out the appetizers. Everything else is warmed, the house is clean, and it’s time to get dressed. I am feeling this urge to wear clothes that are not for going out but for staying cozy at home. I suspect that I feel this way because I am finally spending time with people who feel like true friends. This Friendsgiving I am eager and excited but I am also calm and comfortable. 

Sharing my space with people who I like and admire feels good. We’re setting the tone for days to come – intentionally choosing our company, our relationships, and to honor ourselves before we honor obligations. It can be tricky this time of year!

The day has been wonderful and fulfilling. To be surrounded by those that mean the most to me and to share this time with them is invaluable. And I am grateful. It is a gift to have time for meditation that puts me in the exact right frame of mind and I am grateful for my partner who helps, leads, and loves with the purest and most beautiful heart. Although my children are full of excited and frenetic energy this afternoon they are also full of thoughtful gestures like reading together. If you’re wondering it’s, “The boy, the Mole, the Horse, and the Fox,” it is a perfect day for that book. If you haven’t yet, I hope you’ll read it!

It snowed this morning, my eldest put Christmas music on for the first time this season and we are about to have company over – I cannot wait. What a gift to be here and now, present and imperfect in this moment. I am sending my hugs and hopes that this season lands gently. That you enjoy everything as you wish and you honor yourself first. Celebrating the season however you see fit and in whatever way brings you contentment and joy.

Give Yourself the Gift of Rest

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Today instead instead of meditating and moving on as I usually do, I I completely fell into a blissful and silent rest. My rest was dreamless and I awoke somewhat startled by the time elapsed. What a wonderful surprise on this day of business and errands. I have worked hard today and taken on much. I have pressed myself to do more and complete a variety of outstanding items. I have done them all responsibly. But clearly my body needed a break. Clearly, all of this hustle and bustle has required a lot of me, it has sapped my energy.

Before lying down to meditate I realized that I had prepared several items for future meals but nothing for this evening’s dinner. And that’s ok, we will not starve. Another day will pass and we will do other things, We will find a way to meet our family’s needs for nourishment. It will all come together. Actually it was wonderful to rest more and to find comfort exactly where I am. 

Rest is such a necessary and fulfilling experience. I am reading much about rest as a form of resistance. I follow the Nap Ministry on social media and find their wisdom profound. The act of resting is not in order to do more or take on more but simply to be more rested. This is a profound perspective. The emphasis is rest is in and of itself, this is particularly relevant to communities of color where rest and ease have been weaponized or used as rewards only for intense and strenuous labor. The fulfillment of rest is that the practitioner be more nourished – NOT so that they can better serve others or give to anyone else.

I just want to pause for that thought again – rest is not done to serve others but to serve yourself. Rest is not more work it is a necessary component to a healthful life. The very act of resting has been denied to people of color for generations and our society in its desire to press forward, constantly consuming or creating does not respect or value rest for rests sake. The fulfillment that comes from taking time for oneself is valueless because it cannot be monetized in a capitalist society. When you are resting your are not consuming and that does not have value. Therefore we are encouraged not to rest but to consume or purchase items and tools to better equip us to rest – luxurious sheets, blankets, hotel rooms, spa treatments, and aromatherapy oils. We are encouraged to moisturize – not for the sake of our skin or health but because if we are bathing ourselves in expensive lotions, oils, and elixirs before we rest then our rest is monetized. We have spent money to do it and therefore it has value. 

Many of us have rested in the care of an herbalist, or masseuse, or in a luxurious hotel. Rest need not be expensive to be healing. Wear what you have on, take a nap. Let yourself be at ease, be healed and be whole without any additional investment. Make whatever herbal tea you have in the pantry when you’re done. Breathe easy, open the window and listen to whatever sounds float in. Do not rest out of obligation or out of some duty to be productive later or some such rot. Be productive when you wish to be of course – but rest simply because it feels good. Rest because you are entitled to rest. Rest because in a society that is constantly asking you to perform, complete, and produce rest is a deep act of resistance. 

Fight with the resistance by lying down and letting yourself relax. This is a labor of love and to learn more I would encourage you to investigate the Nap Ministry and their BIPOC community of educators and content creators that share these most valuable lessons and more. I am grateful for my surprise nap this afternoon. Grateful that my body knew I was pushing too hard too fast and it needed a reprieve from its exertions. I am so grateful to my body for helping me get this far and for giving me all I need to both accomplish and complete work but also to rest and be easy – to clam down and soothe myself. To locate that which I needed and make the time to nourish, relax, and rest as needed. I hope you are able to make the time to do the same – it is a profound and generous necessity.

Snowy Days and Warm Thoughts

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The snow is falling heavy and thick this afternoon. It is filling in all of the steps we took this morning and burying further the lawn, snow forts, and snow people built just this weekend. The snow is elegant and slow-falling but it is thorough in its work, coving every branch, driveway, and surface it meets. It reminds me to be grateful of all that we are right now – everything changes so quickly. 

It occurs to me that in my January posts I wrote a lot about resolutions and how to make the most of the year to come. And while these steps are important and necessary, I don’t want to suggest that who we are and where we are right now is in any need of change or modification.

In the midst of COVID, we have become more focused on self-care. We are recognizing that health, both physical and mental, requires daily investment and accountability. However, part of caring for ourselves is going easy on ourselves. We are in the midst of a pandemic, and a very real snowstorm and there is no more powerful reminder of how tender we need to be than driving in the snow. We cannot stop completely for every sign. We cruise through unplowed roads, considering if the turn can be done before another car comes towards us in onward traffic or if the car behind us will have time to stop. Then having made the calculation and the turn, we pray that our own tires will be sure in their connection to the road, that the momentum of our wheels will take us directly downhill and not send us skidding off course into someone’s lawn or worse yet, some obstruction that cannot be moved, the curb, or a tree – they are so beautiful this time of year.

The beauty of the snowfall is its gentle nature, but snow is also a force to be recovered with even in small amounts. You will not rush to go anywhere in a snowstorm, even the mailbox requires a steady and slow step. 

Making changes in our lives can be wonderful and inspirational. However, I hope you undertake these modifications with the same slow pace and caution you would use to drive in the snow or walk downhill in fresh powder. Take your time, be patient, and gentle with yourself as you would the accelerator. Tenderness towards yourself is not something to be earned or apologized for – we are all going through a hell of a year, we are entering year three of Covid-19 and we are already doing enough. Supply chain demands, illness, and the very real mental strain this pandemic has put on all of us cannot be overestimated. We are all being deeply impacted and changed by this disease, and we are all transforming. 

We do not need to hold ourselves to the standards or timelines of the past. And I hope you know this in your heart, hope you realize that living with urgency is not as necessary as living with intention. That being patient and kind to yourself helps the world. When we are kinder to ourselves we show others how they may be more gentle to themselves and to others. Every act of tender self-care is an act of defiance and I hope you leave some wiggle room in your resolutions for ease. 

I hope you release yourself from the demands of performative progress. We are all transforming under this blanket of snow. We may be hibernating and stuck inside for a while longer but much like trees who loose their leaves in the fall, we are not dead, but only waiting for the spring to show all that we’ve been working on this winter. Be gentle with yourselves, cozy up by the fire, make a hot chocolate, watch the snowfall and bake cookies. It may be a new year but it is also a long journey and if we don’t stop to take care of ourselves we’ll never finish the race. Shovel the walk before you go to get the mail, take your time, it’s a beautiful time of year, if we only stop to savor it.