Tag: goals

Mid-Year Review

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We’re at the half-way point in the year and it’s time to pull out our vision boards again. I like to do this mid-year review around Christmas in July because it gives me a refresh. I get to remind myself of my goals and see if they still align with where I’m headed. If not, it’s time to purge.

I don’t like to get rid of the ideas that I thought enough of to save and stick to my board. So, today I want to share what I do with those plans. When I find an idea on my vision board that no longer speaks to me I take it down. If the image or words no longer resonate with me I recycle them. Once I accomplish a goal I add it to my accomplishments journal. If I like the idea but am no longer tied as strongly to its outcome I take the image down. I then add those images to my journal.

My journals are like scrap books. I use them as notebooks, diaries, and travel logs. When I’m feeling particularly excited I write for pages. When I am trying to figure out how I feel or if I’m angry and need to process emotions, I write them out. Therefore the journals aren’t chronological and in fact they become time capsules of a small portion of my life. 

I prefer composition notebooks, I also prefer them college ruled. I put stickers, inspirational quotes, and magazine clippings inside of them. These include items from my tri-fold vision board. I add them to the notebook to remind me of where I thought I was heading but maybe didn’t end up. This process is cathartic because I’m freeing space on my vision board.

The empty space on the vision board in the second half of the year gives me room to imagine what comes next. The freedom of the empty board allows my imagination to wander, which is exactly what I want it to do as we lead up to the holidays. I want room to breathe. It is better to have fewer expectations as I work towards cramming in all of the joy, fun, and progress I can possibly smush into my life before the new year comes. In six month it will be time to strategize what comes next on this fantastic journey.

In the second half of the year I wish you tons of free space and time for imagination, old friends, and good wine. I hope you find some things that speak deeply to you and  others that you can simply set free. As we complete our mid-year review I hope you give yourself the freedom to clear some space. Remember you don’t have to accomplish everything in a single day and not even in a single year. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed – it is not an accomplishment it is a journey. I hope you savor it!

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Life Goals

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When we intentionally do things that bring us joy simply because they bring us joy our perspective shifts. The emails organize themselves. I find that saying, “no,” to some things is actually liberating. It frees me from taking on more than I can manage. It opens space for me to invest time in those things that bring me joy and fulfillment. Those are my true life goals.

There’s an interesting analogy that is attributed to various thinkers, investors, etc. most often Warren Buffett. The guidance is as follows:

  1. Create a list of all you want to do in life.
  2. Rank the items on your list. 
  3. Once you have ranked all the things that interest you or that you think you might like to do highlight your top five. 
  4. Keep the top five. 
  5. Forget about the rest.

The belief is that we can accomplish anything but we can’t accomplish everything. Items six and beyond are just tempting enough to distract us from our main goals. By eliminating them we focus our attention on our true goals. This not only makes sense but will create more space and time for those things that serve us. It prevents scope creep. 

My only suggestion is to be sure some of those top five life goals include savoring the good life. If you’re not doing the small things that bring you joy you may accomplish a great deal. But you will always be chasing more. Be intentional with your time and choose you first, always. Make a good life not just good goals.

Subtracting to Add

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I recently watched an interview Trevor Noah, the former host of the Daily Show, did with Oprah. He asked her after having spoken with so many leaders in fields spanning all areas of interest and society what contributes most effectively to a person’s success. Oprah’s response was simple, “Everything – every choice and movement you make needs to be aligned with your purpose.” 

When you know your purpose you can direct your course towards making that path the one you choose to follow. Distractons delay, detour, or completely knock us off course. When you decide what it is that you want to do in this life and in the world – every step and decision you make should be in pursuit of that higher goal. Your energy, be it at rest or in motion, needs to be focused on that goal. 

To me it seemed much like writing a novel. Every line needs to have a role. Every word written must be necessary and relevant. Superfluous language or details only distract from your message. The purpose is the clarity of your story. If any line, paragraph, or sentence is not in service to telling your story, delete it. Every word must reveal more about your characters, provide your reader with necessary and relevant information, or it needs to be removed. Anything extra is distracting from that message. As an author this makes sense to me. It creates a solid ground and structure that I can follow. I am on a path and as I make my way towards my goal I only stay on the path that leads to better telling of this story. 

According to Oprah, this works in life as well. When you focus on your goal nothing should distract you. I have found that my heart knows what it wants it prioritizes that path anyway. The things I don’t want to do are so difficult for me to force myself to complete. There is mental and sometimes physical resistance to the things that do not serve my true purpose. It’s difficult and draining when I’m doing things that are not in service to my goal. 

I would encourage you to look at the things you are doing. What tasks feel like a breeze and you could do them all day? What projects or tasks feel like an absolute slog?

Keep a list beside you as you go through a regular day. Draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left side list the items that feel like a dream and delight you. On the other side of the line write down the tasks you completed but didn’t enjoy at all. Some things are necessary evils, we have to wash the dishes if we want to eat off of clean plates tomorrow. There are also some tasks that we do simply because we feel obligated. What terrible duties do you feel exhausted by? They are taking too much time and energy. Is it possible to delegate these tasks or remove them from your chore list entirely? Are they necessary? 

As you subtract those tasks that are not aligned with your true purpose and higher power you may find that not only are you happier but you are also free to pursue more of the good things that bring you joy and align with who you are. It may mean subtracting relationships, tasks, etc. But as you make room in your life for joy, purpose, and your dreams, life becomes a lot richer and more fulfilling. You are create space for those events, people, and projects that deeply nourish you and fuel your pursuit of your goals rather than distracting you from them. 

Limited Time + Attention

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I’m usually one of those people who mulls things over. I hold on until the event has past, the email is outdated, or I have to make a collection of quick decisions. The intention is there to read it all, participate in every event and opportunity. I am all in for kayaking, book clubs, and retreats. Sign me up! Except when I’m not into it, which as someone who is primarily introverted and really likes her alone time and personal space, is much more frequent than my joiner inclinations are willing to accept. When I do join an event it takes me a significant amount of time before I’m ready to dive back into the social scene. And while I don’t attend everything I’m invited to participate in – I still want the right of first refusal. Include me – yes! Depend on my presence – no thank you.

I’m reading a book about the brevity of life. It talks about all of our inclinations and machinations to “Save time.” The, “time savers,” and “quick tricks,” to empty your inbox or create space in your day. It turns out a lot of these ‘solutions,’ fail because when you send an email you increase your likelihood of getting more emails in return. You have not cleared your inbox after all. You’ve just heightened the expectation for the rapidity of your responses.

Typically, when we free up time in our days by using the washing machine, the dryer, etc. we don’t get that time back and use it for our own goals. Instead we pop over to Pinterest or open Architectural Digest and determine that now it’s time to remodel. We heighten the expectation for what cleanliness, order, and tidiness look like. Now, it’s not ok to simply have a spice rack – we must take every item out of its original packaging and place it in our own personalized containers that we label ourselves so as to match the professional organizer’s images on social media. 

We don’t get that time back and that’s the big takeaway for me. If we keep pressing ourselves to be more productive, to hustle, or accomplish we’re never going to be satiated. Because there’s always more stuff to purchase, events to join, or opportunities to get involved. What it comes down to is hard choices. Do we want to travel the hour to family dinner on Sunday or would we like to mow the lawn? Do we do neither, either, all? That’s up to us. The most important detail is to look inward and determine what we really want. What do I need most? Do I crave the connection with family? Do I have guests coming over and part of what makes me feel comfortable is my lawn looking well cared for? These are hard choices and we can make them. Or put them off until the opportunity has passed. Either way, we’ve made a choice.

Instead let’s focus on what we want and need most in life. Stop trying to control our time. Simply follow the ebbs and flows. If we have thank you notes to write, sit down and write them rather than staring at emails all afternoon willing them to disappear. Even the concept of using time wisely is a modern invention. Time is not meant to be used. We don’t have a set number of years – some of us may be lucky enough to get more than 100, others might not make it out of their twenties. So please, do what brings you joy. Do the things that set your heart on fire. We can’t possibly attend every event or please every person – we can only please ourselves. Do the stuff that fills your cup, if you sprinkle in something else remember that it is bonus. And be fully present for the good things that you choose to do. If it is mowing the lawn – enjoy the long walk outside. And if you can take in the sunset.

Experiencing Awe

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Today the rain is pouring outside. Thick heavy drops splashing on the window ledge fill our home with a gentle roar. The weight of life rolling down the window panes and over the shingled roof. It feels exquisite to be inside watching the water pour and the tree limbs sway. It fills me with gratitude. We are cozy, warm, and safe. Thunder powerfully rumbles overhead. The size and shape of the clouds creating noise and energy that astounds and humbles me. To consider the magnitude of ever shifting and rolling momentum fills me with awe. 

The rain and the clouds hovering overhead, remind me of the gifts this world has to offer us. The plenty that surrounds and engulfs our daily life. We are so small in this ever expanding universe. Simple situations and worries can seem so monumental to us. And yet, from the perspective of the world these are small things. Our desires, hopes, fears – all of them are so tiny. And really, what is there to worry about? 

Petty embarrassments, moods, situations – all of these things change like the weather. In a flash of lighting the storm has moved on and our small problems are similar. Much like the temperature, rain fall, the wind, all of it can go from the thunderous and terrifying to a gentle kiss in an instant. As Pullitzer Prize winning journalist Mary Schmich tells us, “In the end the race is only against ourselves.”

It’s powerful to consider – if we are not on earth to rush to any destination or achieve some lofty goal. We may only be here for this time, the journey, and all of its twists and turns. Our role may not be to fix, solve, or remedy. Our existence my be our only purpose. Maybe that’s true and maybe it isn’t. Perhaps we too are only here for a brief moment and have no other objective than to experience the awe and wonder that is life. What is the purpose of the rain? Is it not already perfect? What if we too, are already perfect?

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Collecting Inspiration

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Throughout the year, I collect inspiration from cutouts and images in magazines. They keep me focused on what I am working toward. The pieces I really love get mounted on my vision board.

I often find when I sit down to organize these bits of inspiration at the end of the year many of them no longer speak to me. Their influence was brief and fleeting. I recycle the images and articles that no longer appeal to me. 

The pieces I like but don’t need to see every day are glued or taped into journals. This way the quotes and images I have collected continue to inspire me. But the big and important, still rock me to my core, pieces are posted on my vision board.

My vision board keeps me on task. The board stays out until I have my path memorized by heart. I carry it with me in my memory and then only pull out the board sporadically when I need a reminder.

I collect inspiration almost constantly but the vision board is revisited only twice annually. Once at the end of the year and early January when it is being created. The second time I open it is for Christmas in July or the year’s midpoint to consider and check my progress. It is incredible how these ideas that were once thoughts in my head become reality. To see those concepts I once imagined integrated into my lifestyle feels complete. 

How do you manifest your best life? What tools do you use to stay on task?

Building Mental Strength

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I have been thinking a lot lately about how the muscles we exercise are the muscles that we strengthen. When we focus on our arms or legs we first increase flexibility, endurance, and then begin to see gains. Increases in our ability to lift or move larger objects. The endurance to run longer distances without overexertion. The ability to work harder, longer, faster, etc. All of these capabilities that were not ours at the outset of our exercise become easier for us. This happens too with our mental strength and resilience.  

I’m realizing that as I observe and take in information that is primarily negative that these are the mental muscles I am choosing to exercise. When my perspective is of judgement, suspicion, or worst case scenario that is what will likely appear. As I look for the negative I will find it. Much as if I look for the positive I would find evidence of that. The choice is ours of what perspective we decide to bring to our interactions. Am I looking for help, hope, and optimism? OR am I looking for judgement, hurt, and negativity? 

When we fixate on the negative or worst case scenario those are the thought patterns we encourage to grow. This happens easily when we fixate on negative news, or patterns. However, we can give ourselves grace as the pursuit of any goal takes time. As we work toward any goal – writing a book, painting, or yoga – we give our attention to that goal. The more time and energy we devote the better we get at that activity. As we focus our attention we learn more. Testing theories and learning from our mistakes.

The mental muscles and the patterns that I want to strengthen are those focused on drawing joy, hope, generosity, light and love into my life. I do that by being attentive to those patterns. By shifting my focus from, “What is wrong with this picture,” to “What is going right here?” Or better yet, “How can I improve this picture?” 

With a renewed and optimistic perspective I am striving to make a positive impact not just in my own life but also in the world. This mental strength shift requires intention and attention. It also requires that I do the work of looking for the good in others, in myself, and in the world. It means that my mental strengths need to shift from judgment to support and aid. With time we will start to see the good things first in one another and ourselves.

Let’s try a new mental workout routine to shift our perspectives from disengaged boredom to being the change we wish to see in the world. I hope you will join me.

Preparing for a New Year

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As I prepare for the closing of one year and the opening of another I like to collect my journals. Each morning I write three pages of whatever comes to mind.* Sometimes it’s short stories, or a letter, or just complaining about whatever has me in a funk that morning. Some days it’s all about the weather or good news. It depends on the day. But often littered inside all of this writing there are gems – lists, to do items, goals. Dreams I have that I haven’t examined more deeply. These ideas may be used to write your resolutions.

Now at the end of the year, I am reviewing my journal entries and looking for goals and ideas. Sparks that I have had in the last twelve months that I either wish to make progress on or would like to add to my plans for 2023. I also do a word-web and find what is most inspiring or rising to the top of my list but we’ll talk about that in another post. What is most important is the focus on what I’ve already put on paper. I am highlighting and documenting these items on a list – if they were important enough to write down once, they’re important enough to write down again. 

My strategy is to combine all of these ideas into a list and then separate that list by topic – I like my resolutions to fit into several areas of wellness:

Spirituality

Physical Health + Fitness

Mental Wellbeing

Social circles – Family + Friends

Community + Charitable Works

Career

Financial 

Looking at my goals and where they fall in this list it shows me where I’m focusing my energies. And perhaps where I need more growth in the coming year. If my list is long and heavy in career but I only have “take more walks,” in my physical fitness area, I know that fitness needs a little more focus. Of course, these will never all be equal, there are some areas that are harder and some years where we’re just not ready to tackle a big project – like spirituality. These areas all require work and attention in order for us to live balanced lives. The goal here though is not to look at these as tasks or errands. If anything they are guide posts.

Will I achieve everything on my list in 2023? Absolutely not! I didn’t finish this work in 2022 and chances are I won’t get to finish everything on my list this year either. However, it does give me a place to start. It gives me an opportunity to see where my interest and focus has been in 2022 and to show myself some gratitude because littered in among the dreams for the future are also my accomplishments. Seeing my accomplishments highlighted (in a different color) feels pretty great. It’s incredibly empowering to look over a year of writing and see how much I’ve grown, to look back at happy times or see how I worked through challenges and obstacles. 

However you choose to organize your resolutions or plans for the coming year, I hope you take some time to yourself to take stock of how far you’ve come. I know I am always proud and impressed by the work I have done in a single year. The next year will bring its own challenges and opportunities. I hope we all come to it honestly and authentically, aware of who we are and what we are working towards. When we know what we want we can align our steps and plans to achieve it. 

This tool is just one of the ways I clear space and organize my strategy for the coming year. It’s time consuming but also a labor of love. A gift I give to myself as the year winds down. A little space and time to reminisce and reflect on who I have been. Which gives me better insight into who I hope to become in the next year. 

May your New Year’s be peaceful and serene. May your resolutions scare you just enough to inspire you to work hard. I wish you balance, light, and love in every day of this New Year! I look forward to seeing more of you in 2023. – M

*Morning Pages is a concept created by Julia Cameron. If you want to learn more I highly recommend her book, “The Artist’s Way.”

The Rule of Thirds

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Whenever we are pursuing an important goal it is important to remember the rule of thirds. Olympians and their coaches use this measure to align their training schedule. The goal is to be sure we are applying enough pressure to succeed while avoiding injury and overwhelm. The key is to rest so that elite athletes may carry on rather than give up. The rule of thirds is is a growth strategy and progress check. It is not just for Olympians or athletes. The rule is this – as you pursue a goal, your path will typically follow this formula.

1/3 will be wonderful. You’re going to stick your landings and feel terrific. 

1/3 will be terrible. You’re going to make mistakes and feel like you’re not doing things properly.

1/3 will be fine. You’re moving ahead but don’t feel strongly either way.

What’s important is that you pay attention to how you’re feeling. If it feels great all the time maybe you’re not pushing yourself hard enough. Perhaps things are too easy and you’re not progressing. Maybe you’ve plateaued and you’re not pushing hard enough. 

If you feel terrible for more than a third of the time, maybe you’re pushing too hard. Maybe you need to rest or consider a different approach. Maybe there are several small steps you can take instead of the giant leap you are fixated on at that moment. Taking a break for recovery is a necessary and important component to long term success and goal attainment. 

Trust your experience and the rule of thirds to inform your decisions. If you feel terrible all the time or even just more than a third of the time, maybe you don’t want to be doing this. Is there another path that is calling to you to try? Maybe you love the sport but would be happier coaching. Maybe you love the field but want to try another area of expertise.

The final third will be relatively uneventful days. You feel good but not great and like you could do better but you’re not at your worst. These are good days too. The same applies as the other two thirds, if it’s too easy add some challenges and if it’s too challenging relieve some of that pressure. If you’re consistently moving forward there’s no reason why you should be swaying in any one direction for more than a third of the time. 

So take a deep breath and remember that the feeling is temporary. If you swing too far in any one direction it might be time for a change. Paying attention to how you feel helps you to know you’re on the right path. We all want to attain our goals and we pursue them doggedly. Just make sure that your labor is one of love. We do this work because we love it. Because it brings us joy, and because it connects us to our higher purpose. When you’re chasing a dream and aligned with your purpose the rule of thirds is a great tool that helps keep the balance. 

New Season New Goals

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Today is one of those blissful days in the change of season. It is warmer than usual. The sun is shining brightly. There is a beautiful breeze wafting through our windows, allowing us to air out the house. How lovely to have this day to myself. I want so share some of the things that I am enjoying today in hopes that they serve you too. Maybe it will inspire you to do your own fall refresh and maybe create some new goals.

Journaling – Adding images, magazine cutouts or drawings, to the pages I have written but not filled the whole page. I am also looking to find where I have littered and sprinkled my ideas like fairy dust on the pages. I am getting ready for the new season. Part of that journey is writing down my goals and reflecting on the accomplishments that I have attained already.

Reflection – I want to try to begin my days with a bit of reading. Books inspire and uplift me. I am way too easily drawn in by inspirational pieces and well written books. I rush through them, eager to find out what happens next. It’s best to set a timer.

Meal Plan – I wrote down some recipes that I enjoy and don’t want to be without this winter. I recently found them floating around in the pictures on my phone. Recipes for seasonal favorites include: Cranberry Tea, that makes our house smell like Christmas. And Hungarian Goulash an incredibly simple, rich, and delicious meal that cooks for a long time. This meal fills our home with savory and cozy smells that warm you up even before you take a bite. The perfect hygge treat after a cold day of playing outside in the snow. I love collecting and preparing these simple delectable dishes. Foods and traditions that warm the spirit and the heart, make life so much richer.

Goal Refresh – I began a refresh of my vision board. I had planned to organize some magazine images I clipped with the intention of adding them to my vision board. The beauty of the vision board is that in addition to inspiration it also reminds me of how far I’ve come. I try to update the board annually with the goals I want to carry with me into the new year.

To make space for the new goals I have to remove those that I have already accomplished. It is always a delightful revelation when an image is ready to come down. I don’t throw these out. To preserve them, I gently cut them down and tape them into my journals. Including a small note reminds me why they are important. Once in the journal they continue to remind me of how far I have come. 

It feels so good to be moving forward. There are so many goals that I have been able to complete this year. I have worked hard to get where I am. And it is always nice to have a little time to reflect. I love to savor and celebrate these small moments.