Tag: Gratitude

Intentional Time Management

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This afternoon I went grocery shopping. This statement alone really means nothing. But if I tell you it was a local farmstead and local open air market then you might appreciate that this was not a typical experience. First of all I went in the middle of the day. Second this is the sort of place that does not even take credit cards but only operates in cash and check. In 2023. And so when I begin to tell you of the delight I experienced in choosing my fruits – juicy and lush plums, bags of cherries before the season comes to a close, huge containers of blueberries and strawberries at prices that make me question why or how I could ever consider shopping somewhere else. And piles, absolute piles of fresh corn, potatoes, and made from scratch pastries that just set my heart on fire. 

Early fall and harvest time always bring me joy. And savoring the delights of summer by indulging in fresh produce is a guilty pleasure of mine. It’s why we order groceries in the first place. I get distracted by the bounty and abundance in the produce section. Typically coming home without the practical foods that we need to prepare for our daily meals. And really, while I know that is an inconvenience, I would still argue that this is not a flaw. 

I am passionate about fresh and delicious food but I often find myself ill equipped to provide it. So often we’re pushing ourselves to complete dinner so that we can eat and get to the next thing. Eating itself becomes a task on a list and not an opportunity to unwind, enjoy, and savor. This happens to us all when we feel like we have so much to do and so little time. 

Lately I have been reading about time management. How in striving to complete tasks quickly we rob ourselves of the opportunity to savor and enjoy the bounty that surrounds us. Our agendas rob us of experiencing the moment. And the way we make more time for ourselves and what we love is that we simply do them.

The rest of life – the email responses, the tidying up of kitchens, will either get done or not. But rushing through the pleasures of our life only makes more time for these rudimentary tasks that are themselves endless. Because no sooner will you send an email than you will get one back. Or no quicker do you wipe down the counter than someone spills a drink. 

When we choose to take our time doing the things we love our life unfolds at a more natural pace. It begins to feel as if we have more time. For me it’s a lazy stroll through the market where I buy more fruit than one family can possibly consume. These simple joys fill my basket and my heart. The time used to treat myself leads to even more time doing the things I love. Because now I get to make zucchini bread, and eat blueberry pancakes. These simple delights blossom from one lovely occasion to many more very quickly. And instead of rushing home to complete the mundane I now feel excited. Choosing to follow my own rhythm I find myself enjoying life and that feels like the point. 

Art Show

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This weekend I participated in my second art show. This exhibition was a juried show with a tenured track record – they’ve hosted this event for nearly 40 years! I was so delighted to participate in the event and learn more about the community it serves. There were nearly 8,000 guests and attendees that made their way past my booth and many popped by to visit, say, hello, and make some purchases in the hot August sun. 

That’s another note – the days were sweltering. We had the tent but no electricity – so no fans or air conditioning. My deepest and sincerest gratitude goes to the amazing friends, family, and fans who made the trip out to the event! It absolutely filled my heart to see some littles who not only remembered and still loved my art – but also remembered me and their fresh sprigs of mint. I’ve taken to sharing sprigs of mint from my garden with the youngest attendees. When you’re shopping at an outdoor venue the day can be long and honestly who doesn’t like a little treat?

Kids and creatives are my favorite art show customers. Children know what they like, there is no effort to impress or appeal to someone else. When have you ever held a conversation with another adult about your third favorite dinosaur? It’s as if we grow up and forget what is truly relevant. Seeing the joy in my littlest fans fills me up. I love sitting down on the ground and connecting with kiddos and learning what they notice about the art they are viewing. I even keep hand sanitizer in the booth so that they can feel the artwork and enjoy the sensory experience of the piece as well as its visual appeal. 

Talking with kiddos about art brings me true joy. I also love pets! Meeting so many fluffy friends at the show was a pure delight. I met fluff-balls Teddy and Layla – who brought me to my knees as the song goes. Her owner proudly explained the song was the inspiration for her title. It was so comforting and delightful to have fuzzy company to break up the day. Next time I will bring a little doggy bowl with cool water for my furriest guests to enjoy. I am also thinking about suckers – because even the bank hands out treats. I may have to think about a cool way to tie the treat back to my art and keep it from melting or making curious hands too sticky! 

All that said, I learned a lot. I learned the simple joy of sitting out in hot weather with a good book. I appreciate fully the gift of guests to keep my spirits lifted. Displaying art publicly is a humbling and vulnerable experience. It is intimidating and who you have beside you makes a real difference. My plan is to make sure I continue to surround myself with people who lift me up and encourage me to blaze my own trail, stay true to myself, and believe in my own capabilities. That is a real gift – especially when in the heat of the day (96 degrees by my calculations – in Ohio for Lord’s sake!) traffic slows down and you’re left with only the parameters of being present and still, waiting for what is next to come. Sometimes a little distraction can be a real lifesaver.

Speaking of lifesavers I cannot thank my husband or cousin enough for popping in and out on both days, setting up the tent and carrying all of my supplies back and forth. It is an absolute dream to share this process and experiences with my family. To let my kids see me trying, failing or succeeding, I have taught them a valuable lesson about showing up. And my partner has taught them about showing up for those we care about. Our examples are molding the people they will become. Their examples are also molding us. My favorite being my son making fast friends. No sooner had I struck up a conversation with the child’s mother than they were laughing, running around, and playing tag together. It’s that easy to make a friend. I’m so glad to have the openhearted lovingness of children, as my guide to relate to others. 

I’m proud of me. Proud of my art. Proud of the art show and the strength and turpitude it took to get to this point. I am sticking with this craft and I am grateful to myself for staying the course. This is not an easy path but it is a joyful one. And as I consider textiles – fabric design, wallpaper, draperies, etc. I am eager and excited for what comes next on this creative journey. I am growing and learning more each and every day. And even when it’s hot and I am doing it for myself and I am proud of me. I did it! 

Perspective Impacts Experience

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I recently attended a writer’s workshop where the focus was on developing our craft, the publishing process, and how to get to the next level with our writing. I attended a talk where the speakers were friends. Instead of supporting each other’s best perspectives they dragged on another down. Both respected and known authors in their fields, they had independently achieved a certain amount of success. However, instead of talking about their accomplishments and celebrating them they instead chose to focus on how hard won those victories were.

While there is much to be said for honesty in a public forum and not sugarcoating the process to those in the audience it could have been defeating. The talk overly focused on the setbacks, challenges, and rejection that can be part of pursuing a writing career. Rather than giving hope, the speakers could not see beyond their personal hardship. They described their experiences as writers and anxiety ridden, full of disappointment, and rejection. 

As a counter to that, we all know that every path is challenging. As Tom Hanks told us in A League of the Their Own, “the hard is what makes it great.” But if you can’t enjoy being invited to speak at an industry event, and feel flattered or honored perhaps the wins are lost on you. Perhaps your perspective needs a tune up. Because to those of us in the audience being on stage and invited to speak is a very real victory. Several attendees spoke in the hall about having no interest in hearing about the challenges. We all know the challenges. We want to know how you came to be where you are as a respected industry expert. And if you can’t see your victory from up on a stage, chances are you never will, unless you make some real changes to your perspective. 

Perhaps that is the deeper lesson, how profoundly your perspective impacts your experience. We cannot enjoy the good if we are not looking for it. Instead of allowing our challenges to embitter us let us use them to motivate us as we move forward. We overcame so much to get here – isn’t that incredible? And this is true of every person in every room, not only those on stage. You made it here – that is worthy of joy and celebration!

Mantras to Trust the Universe

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Spring is here, brightly colored birds are making their way through the skies. Everything in this region has been wintering. All of us resting, cozy, and warmly ensconced at home are sleepily opening our eyes to a new day. Now that the sun is shining, much like the geese overhead, everyone is out and about. We have anxiously and eagerly awaited the arrival of spring. Like new flowers we blossom with the turn of season. With this shift in mind, I have written some Mantras to trust the universe for all of us to use. Mantras help us to calm, center, and ground ourselves when we’re in the midst of change. My hope is that these mantras serve you as you embrace the change of season and rebirth of spring.

I trust that what the universe has in store will not pass me by. 

That which is meant of me cannot be lost or missed. 

The gifts of the universe are safely on their way, my role is to be present and prepared. 

I willingly accept the gifts the universe provides. 

I trust that where I am is exactly where I am meant to be. 

My heart and hands  are open. 

That which I am intended to have I am prepared to accept.

As we enter a new season let us focus is on centering. The goal is to have no expectations of what is to come while maintaining anticipation for great things. Trusting that where we are in this moment is exactly where the universe intends us to be. In this moment we are to be learning and growing all that we can so that we may move forward with ease and delight when the time is right. I hope you use these mantras to trust the universe to center yourself and bloom this spring.

Christmas Reflections

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In preparing for Christmas and this New Year – I have been so focused on where I want to be, my goals and aspirations, that I haven’t appreciated that where I am is pretty amazing. This time of year always inspires Christmas reflections and gratitude. Everything I have this year was once a dream, everything from writing this note, to where I am physically. I feel a debt of gratitude and recognition of what we have been able to build in the last twelve months. We have accomplished a lot this year. But before rushing to list those things I want to be present. Being here in whatever this suspended time of the year is for all of us.

The time and space after the build up to Christmas, the lull, and almost comatose vegging out of the week between Christmas and New Years. There is no need to purchase anything, we are dining on left-overs. We are hungover from all of the traditional social interactions and family gossip. Thinking about the year to come or not thinking at all. Watching too many Hallmark movies and just being still. What an absolute gift to ourselves. It is a joy to be able to rest and to feel no obligation to instruct, guide, or lead. We are simply present and maybe only vaguely aware – the days blend together and all of it melds peacefully into one restive blob. 

This year I am grateful for our first year in our new home, I’m grateful for health, and I’m grateful for rest. I’m grateful that my family is here around me. I’m grateful we have each other and that we are able to celebrate the holidays together. Grateful for quiet afternoons, naps, and ease. I am grateful to myself for taking this time and not pressuring myself to be productive. 

I am so grateful for relaxing family nights and the joy of sharing a family meal. I am glad for what we have and what we share. Every night this week we have prepared a meal from scratch. Some meals are more ornate and involved than others. But most are simple family recipes that are our own traditions. “Oh Christmas Bahn Mi,” and Grandma’s Chicken Parmesan.

These are delicious and filling meals that not only satisfy our need for dinner but will also make enough to freeze. This is a gift we give ourselves. Before we are in that zone of too much presents, food, and dessert we cook. That way when all we are seeking is a Christmas carrot – there will still be food prepared that requires no effort. We simply warm it up and we are nourished and satisfied. What a gift this time is to rest, relax and deeply nourish ourselves and our families. 

We often spoil each other with gifts and treats. When really, the gift we all want is to watch an old movie, to rest and relax together. We want to be our honest and unguarded selves. Our only goal is to luxuriate in the slower pace and feel no obligation to rush, attend to, or show up for anyone or anything else. Just to simply be peaceful, easy, and home. 

And maybe that’s what I’m writing about after all. These Christmas reflections are about finding home where ever we are and with whomever we choose. The creation of safety, peace, and security. The gift of protection, honesty, new traditions and old melding into the creation of home. We are grateful for building a life and space where everyone is loved and accepted exactly as they are and loved.

We are all so deeply loved and I don’t know what to call it. This may not even have a name but it feels safe, cozy, hygge, health, love, warmth, ease, peace, and tenderness. Whatever the German word for this is, I feel it deep in my soul. I am content and I am happy. This is all I’ve been looking for all my life, and here I have it. More than anything I hope you do too. Here in this virtual living room I hope you feel it. You are all so welcome here, I love you, I’m glad you came, let’s watch another movie.

Friendsgiving

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Our friends are packing up and making their ways to our home as I type. We started cooking last night and prepared all of the dishes in advance. I am about to pop downstairs to put out the appetizers. Everything else is warmed, the house is clean, and it’s time to get dressed. I am feeling this urge to wear clothes that are not for going out but for staying cozy at home. I suspect that I feel this way because I am finally spending time with people who feel like true friends. This Friendsgiving I am eager and excited but I am also calm and comfortable. 

Sharing my space with people who I like and admire feels good. We’re setting the tone for days to come – intentionally choosing our company, our relationships, and to honor ourselves before we honor obligations. It can be tricky this time of year!

The day has been wonderful and fulfilling. To be surrounded by those that mean the most to me and to share this time with them is invaluable. And I am grateful. It is a gift to have time for meditation that puts me in the exact right frame of mind and I am grateful for my partner who helps, leads, and loves with the purest and most beautiful heart. Although my children are full of excited and frenetic energy this afternoon they are also full of thoughtful gestures like reading together. If you’re wondering it’s, “The boy, the Mole, the Horse, and the Fox,” it is a perfect day for that book. If you haven’t yet, I hope you’ll read it!

It snowed this morning, my eldest put Christmas music on for the first time this season and we are about to have company over – I cannot wait. What a gift to be here and now, present and imperfect in this moment. I am sending my hugs and hopes that this season lands gently. That you enjoy everything as you wish and you honor yourself first. Celebrating the season however you see fit and in whatever way brings you contentment and joy.

Savor and Celebrate the Life We Have

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Today I am thinking about creating the life I want. Having so many goals and projects in the works can sometimes feel overwhelming. I want to build and create while also making time to nurture relationships and live my life. I often check in on myself to be sure that I am not just accomplishing, completing, or “working,” rather than living. 

I don’t want to be distracted for the best times of my life and unfortunately that’s really easy to do. In a culture that glorifies “busy,” it’s easy to be consumed with productivity. We’re trying to make a home, raising kids, and all of it feels like it’s big and important. We’re sprinting through the seasons sometimes and it seems that no sooner is one task complete than there are five, or fifteen, more to fill it.

Remember Your Goals

What helps me to get out of the hamster wheel and see the big picture is reminding myself that all of this was once a dream. A beautiful home, a healthy family, a partner I love and admire – all of these were items on a wish list that I once imagined for myself. 

I distinctly remember a morning in Chicago, driving from my aunt’s apartment downtown back to my college dorm in Rodgers Park. Thinking I’d like to work in a city but have a country home where I raised my family and did my writing. I like the idea of being near a large metropolis while also distant from other people. A chateau or country estate sounded perfect to me.

Find Where You Are

Flash forward fifteen years and here we are in our country home, mouse problems and all. We’re savoring sunsets, active in our local community, and live in a small town where we know people and are known pretty much everywhere we go. It feels so comfortable and also magical that this life I imagined one morning in undergrad is here. I dreamt of this time and this place. Having imagined this moment in my life, now that I’m here I want to savor it. I want to cherish what I have while still pursuing what comes next. 

Savor & Celebrate Your Progress

For me savoring looks like a cup of tea and a long lunch with my partner. It looks like giving our dog some extra love and attention. Sitting in the sun and meditating so that I am fully present here and now. It feels like hyyge – making myself comfortable and writing to express my thoughts and process my emotions. It is being still and listening to my children as they drift off to sleep. Extra kisses on soft cheeks and all the snuggles I can possibly fit into a day. It is “one more minute,” of play when I can give it and boundaries when I cannot. And taking care of myself so that I am here for a very long time to savor and celebrate a long life. If you’re looking for some tools to find your own focal points there’s a great guide here.

Notice What Fills You and Follow It

This life is about creating spaces where I am comfortable, inspired, held and free. Finding a way to make every hope, wish, and dream I have come true because when I am building and growing, and reading good books I feel whole. Eating good foods and traveling, inspires me and stretches my wings. Learning new things fills me up and keeps me interested and engaged. I am forever looking forward to all of the good that is here now, and all of the wonderful that is yet to come.

With the fall winds upon us our windows and doors are blanketed in ladybugs. Every one that lands and stays, every one that I must pick up and place outside drenches me in good luck and positive thoughts. I am fortunate, blessed, grateful for all that I have and eager to see what comes next! 

How do you savor and celebrate life’s special moments? What times have been your favorites? What sacred dream are you pursuing now?

Positive Morning Routine

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I have recently transformed my morning routine. Based on recent research I have formulated a new strategy for shifting my perspective. More about the science of this research here. I found that when I started my day it often began with to do list items and whatever conflict or negative pain point was most impactful in my life at the moment. Despite all of the wonderful things happening in world there was always something stuck in my craw. When I started my day this way I just felt like it snowballed. Instead of paying attention to the good things – I was seeing only conflict, negativity, and unmet expectations. So I decided to shift and create my own positive morning routine.

Here’s what I do now to brighten my mood at the beginning of my day. I’ve noticed that even on days when I have a heavier mental load to lift I find it hard to get back to powerlessness or frustration after doing this exercise. This is a writing practice. I’ve mentioned before that writing my morning pages helps me to sort out my emotions and ground myself each morning. To learn more about those, please check out my blog on morning pages and the genius of Julia Cameron’s work. 

Purge – I begin by purging, that first paragraph or two are just my dumping whatever mental load I am carrying, if it’s stress about work, a toothache, or family drama. All of it just gets dropped. This way it won’t need to distract me from what I do next. 

5 Affirmations – I write out five things that I love about myself or that I need to hear.

  1. I am strong – I can face any challenge in my path.
  2. The universe needs me and my work.
  3. Using my creativity is my gift to the universe.
  4. I am brilliant, bright, and bold.
  5. My work is necessary and important – no one else will do this work like me.

3 Anticipations – Things I’m looking forward to doing. These don’t have to be big or momentous – it could just be clean sheet night!

  1. Family dinner tonight.
  2. Sleepy cuddles from my kiddos when they wake.
  3. It’s sunny and I get to go to the pool today!

3 Gratitudes – This can be specific or broad. I included some vague ones below to help you get started. Though, I am truthfully grateful for those things too.

  1. My health.
  2. My family.
  3. Sunshine and blue skies.

One good thing that has happened in the last 24 hours. Just a few sentences here to remind myself of the good things that have happened in my day. This simple step helps my brain to look for the patterns of good things that go on in my life and not just the negative ones!

After I write out these things I find it’s really difficult to slip back into negativity. I find myself writing more about what I’m proud of myself for doing, who I’d like to spend more time with, or how I can improve or grow. This transformation reshapes my day, my perspective, and my mood. It invites me to begin from a place of peace, centeredness and joy. Instead of guilt or anger I am greeting my day with gratitude, anticipation, and full of love. If you try this positive morning routine please let me know how it works for you!

Staying Grounded in Gratitude

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Today is a cold and blustery day. A couple days ago we were savoring the sun and letting it pour into the windows and shine on our faces. Today we are bundled up and seeking out home improvements. Usually in the summer it is the landscaping and the yard that gets most of our attention. When it is unseasonably and unexpectedly cool we start updating the interior of our home. This weekend we will be stripping our closet and taking out the current organization system – a couple of rods and shelves. And while this is progress, it is not lying on the beach. That said, I try to stay grateful for where I am in this moment. Everything I have was once a much longed for dream. While I do have hopes that go beyond this project, I am firmly grounded in gratitude to be here now.

This week has been full of dramatic rises and falls in the family mood and energy, just like the weather. Fortunately we are feeling more at ease. New opportunities and exciting prospects are leveling out. We are not down but we are calm and we stay grounded in gratitude. A friend once described life like a wave. The goal is not to be either riding the crest or in the hallow feeling depressed. The goal in wave riding life is to find comfort in the middle and seek balance. It’s a good idea to stay in humility and humbleness because either you are in gratitude or the universe is on its way to remind you to be.

As I release my second novel – Treading Water July 2022 – I am humbled by all of the hard work and dedication that went into this book. The novel is one that I have read, re-read, edited, and thought through exhaustively for five years. It is ready to launch. I am so hopeful to see the lives that it will touch and how it will reshape the world with its existence. I am eager to hear your thoughts on it too!

But even as I get excited I am staying grounded in gratitude that I have made it this far. I am grateful that I get to write books and that the tools exist so that I can create them on my own terms. It is a joy and an honor that readers let my words into their lives. To choose to invest your time and energy in reading something I have created is a privilege I do not take for granted. When you look at or choose a piece of art I have painted for your own collection, it thrills me. I can’t imagine what you will see, read, or take away from the art I create. It is a joy and an honor to be a part of that process. I am truly grateful that I get to do this work. 

On this windy and chilly day I hope you’ll take the time to do whatever comes next for you. If it’s some small home projects, a gratitude exercise, or simply cuddling up with a good book. I hope wherever you are you feel fortunate and grateful for all of the wonderful gifts you enjoy. I know I am grateful for you.

What dreams have you seen blossom in your own life? What are you most grateful for today?

Did You Have Fun?

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Opportunities vs. Obligations

I strive to give myself the gift of peace and spaciousness. I seek to complete only those tasks that are truly necessary. Freeing myself from the responsibility to do things simply because other people expect them. I am making space for the connections that fuel and fill my heart. I am focusing on reciprocity.

Perhaps you do this too? Where you work so hard to please others or to be “kind,” that you sometimes find yourself overstepping your boundaries. You realize suddenly you’re giving more than your fair share to projects, work, to social engagements. Involvement in clubs, groups, or events snowballs quickly. We are taken out of the moment, distracted with planning, orchestrating, and completing tasks. These obligations can keep us from being fully present. 

Not every dinner or occasion deserves to be treated like a diplomatic engagement. Not every event requires choreographed time tables, speeches, and appropriate attire, decor, and entertainment. These are all unnecessary extras that keep us busy rather than give us the freedom to engage. We get caught up in minutia. “Is it time for cake?” “Does everyone have a plate?” “Are we out of ice?” that we completely miss the milestone events that we were hoping to celebrate in the first place.

I have lost countless birthday parties and luncheons in the ethos of control and making it so nice for everyone else that I forget to enjoy myself. One question that stops me in my tracks, “Did you have fun?” The question is so simple but if I truly reflect on the event – the decor and seating arrangements were lovely, the setting and scenery were beautiful, all of it was an exercise in elegance and loveliness. But did I have fun? Or was I sitting on pins and needles because I wanted to impress other people? By asking this question I am making the distinction between is this event an opportunity for fun or is it an obligation?

I have a new practice to conside first, if I am enjoying myself or if I am simply performing kindness because I wish to be perceived as kind. I no longer wish to engage in situations wherein I am not having fun. If I am not treated well or find the people who will be in attendance anything less than delightful, kind, or welcoming – I’ll simply stay home or find an alternative. It is sad to miss events where some of the people I like and admire will be present but I would much rather be true to myself and honest about what I’m feeling than put a mask on and pretend when truly I am uncomfortable and on edge. 

Being excited to be somewhere and having a good time are two different things. I am grateful that I am learning the difference as I age. This way I am able to build and craft the life that I want. I have learned to put myself first and stop placing myself in uncomfortable or undesirable situations simply because it will make someone else happy. I have no interest in putting others first at a cost to myself. It is a new day and I am making time for me and mine, everything else is icing.