Tag: happiness

Summer Break

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It’s summer break! Here’s a list of some fun things you can do to treat yourself better and create more fun and joy to fill your memory banks. Summertime isn’t just about kids having fun. So often we get jealous of people who go on vacation or children making their way to camp. What if you gave yourself the gift of fun too? Making time for fun and pleasure is not just for kids. Finding joy in your daily life keeps things exciting, gives us something to look forward to, and brings us closer to our purpose of being alive. We aren’t here to suffer or make amends, we’re here to thrive and enjoy every morsel. 

There’s a wonderful line in the Talumud which reads, “A person will be called to account on Judgement Day for every permissible thing they might have enjoyed but did not.” Embrace happiness and let your highlight reel be a joyful expression of your love for life and for yourself. These ideas aren’t super expensive or tricky, you only have to give yourself permission to partake in the delights.

  1. Watch the sunset
  2. Eat an ice cream or frozen popsicle on the stoop or in the grass.
  3. Swing at your local park – you can do this in the morning before it gets too hot!
  4. Take yourself to the beach – or turn your backyard into your own beach oasis with a towel, some sunscreen, and a shallow pool of cool water.
  5. Read a book under the shade of a tree.
  6. Take a hike or go on a walk in the evening with friends.
  7. Turn on the sprinkler and run through it!
  8. Take a nap.
  9. Draw with sidewalk chalk or blow bubbles
  10. Pick some flowers and put them in a cup of water

Invite a friend or loved one to join you in any of these endeavors for an added boost of connection and memory making. Joy is always doubled when shared. Happy Summer break!

Prolonging Happiness

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According to positive psychology research Joy is a temporary emotion – something brought about by a singular moment or situation that sparks a momentary lift in emotional satisfaction. Whereas happiness is more sustainable, an emotion we can prolong for a stretch of time. We can feel happiness over minutes rather than just seconds. In order to prolong happiness we must first prime the pump, or get into the habit of feeling happy. 

To feel happiness more regularly we must first familiarize ourselves with the experience. When we get comfortable and aware of what makes us happy we ready ourselves to engage, experience, and eventually prolong happiness. We begin by noticing and paying attention to what makes us happy so that we may attune our attention to it.

Often when we talk about happiness we remember brief moments in time. It could be a night out dancing with friends, a child’s laugh, the euphoria of dating someone special. These are all delightful and serendipitous events that we can’t necessarily plan for – simply because all of these moments are joy. Happiness however, that more sustainable sensation, can be created through deliberate choice making and attentiveness. 

We are attentive to our happiness when we stay in it. We don’t distract ourselves or “forbade joy,” which Brenee Brown describes as staring at a peaceful child sleeping or watching an idyllic scene from a movie and anticipating something horrible happening. To be clear, foreboding joy is a natural inclination and something that we all experience. We do it because our happiness in that moment is so great that we fear loosing it. Therefore, we imagine the end of that happiness. Despite that preparation being of no use to us and costing us the loss of the very real happiness of that moment. To avoid slipping out of happiness and into fear, anger, or any other strong emotion the key is to first stay in gratitude. 

Staying in gratitude when things are good is the first step to sustaining happiness. Gratitude allows us to linger in that blissful sensation of peace and serenity. As we experience prolonged happiness or even just a burst of joy it is important to notice what is happening. Are we talking to a good friend or preparing a homemade meal we enjoy? Being aware of our bodies and selves in those moments helps us notice the signs.

Think back over the last week and write down the moments that brought you the most joy. Maybe you bought a new sweater or made a fresh batch of cookies for dessert. These don’t have to be major accomplishments. Sometimes our favorite song comes on the radio and that’s enough! When that happens write it down. When you have a list of five or ten moments of joy review the list. What, if anything those moments have in common?

Now that you have your list, you have a place to start. How can you create at least one more moment of happiness in the next day, week, month? These are simple opportunities where you can incorporate happiness into your life. If all of your moments are around food, could you make a meal at home and amplify the sensation? If your happiest moments are around friends, could you schedule a gathering monthly so you not only enjoy fun in the moment but also the happiness of looking forward to gathering? Come up with your own ideas and give yourself the gift of happiness. 

Incorporating happiness and prolonging happiness improves the quality of our days and lives. How can you enhance the quality of your own life today? If you need more ideas on recognizing happiness, we have some other creative happiness tips here.

How to Have a Happier Life

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Usually I write about the keys to bringing our best selves to our lives. One of the tools I don’t talk about as much but want to address now is relationships and how they help us to have a happier life. I recently watched this TED talk on the impact our relationships have on our lives. Research shows the highest indicator of our happiness throughout our lives is not whether we achieve fame, wealth, or renown. It is not if we are productive or compete well. In fact the highest indicator of wellness and longevity is the health of our relationships. 

As someone who loves her alone time I want to focus on this point. Because taking care of myself with exercise, creativity, meditation, etc. will enhance my wellbeing but it will not determine the duration or the quality of my life. The research shows that good relationships keep us happier and healthier.

Wow, that’s a lot. As someone who curates her relationships, I want this to sink in not just for you but for me too. Having relationships with people we know we can depend upon actually enables us to live longer, healthier lives. And not only that – it decreases the pain we will feel when we do face health issues. Less physical pain – due simply to having dependable family, friends, and relationships with others! And how do we do that? How do we make friends? What if we live in a new place? Or are not familiar with our community? 

Family

Here’s what I know. We recently relocated to a new home – which I talk more about here. We moved to a location much closer to family. We now live in this town with my family super close and it has been one of the best choices we have made. We wave when we drive by each other. We have guaranteed help whenever we make too much spaghetti or have more desserts than any one family can consume. And more than that, family makes this new place feel like home.

Friends

I have found getting involved in the things that interest you help you find your people. For example, I attended a free writing course at the library and ran into an acquaintance. We’re now attending a writing conference together. I even gave a recommendation for her in a job interview. I don’t know that if I needed a kidney she’d be my girl but I sure know that when there’s a writing program, she’s going to make sure I know about it! These small things make a difference in helping all of us feel supported. 

Community

If you want to get involved in your local community I would recommend joining your community and neighborhood facebook groups, attend the block party, even if you only stop by for a short visit. It really is lovely to see a friend you met briefly on the drive home. Even if you don’t like the pressure of a large event you can always attend your community’s annual parades, fireworks displays, home and garden tours, or street market. These are fun, low pressure, ways you can see and meet the people who live around you out and about. 

The larger community can sometimes feel daunting. And the thing is if this isn’t for you it’s ok to stick with a small group. We don’t need a ton of friends we just need a few real ones.

Building relationships really makes a difference in our quality of life. I hope these ideas enrich your life too – and helps all of us all to live a little longer, a little happier, and with less pain and suffering. Sending you lots of love and my deepest thanks because this little community is one of the places where I feel deep joy to be surrounded by loving and likeminded people. So thank you – M.

I am always after ideas and strategies for how to live a happier life. Drop a note in the comments if you have some tips and ideas for creating community and building deeper relationships. 

How Does Happiness Feel to You?

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Let’s share a meditation today. Simply copy down the headers and write your own responses. I’ve included my answers for inspiration. I’m excited for you to use this tool to bring you into the present moment and more in touch with yourself. The goal is figure out how happiness feels to you so you can add more of it to your daily life.

Look

To me, happiness looks like a luxuriously appointed room, with panoramic views of trees, wildlife, and gardens. They could be oceans, lakes or mountains but the glory of wide open spaces is mine to enjoy. I have time and freedom to savor it. To me, happiness looks like I have space to myself, peace, and the promise of adventure.

Feel 

Happiness feels soft like throw pillows, cozy fireplaces, and hot tea. It feels serene and gentle, like my dog at my feet. It feels expansive and as if I do not need to strive but I may settle, be at ease and rest.

Taste

It tastes like hot chocolate and delicious meals that feed, fuel, nourish and surprise me. Rich flavors that feed my soul and my heart’s longing for fulfillment and adventure.

Smell

Happiness smells like a new book and typewriter tape. It smells like ink, sea salt, and sunset. The lush abundance of freshly mown grass and ripe summer peaches. It smells wholesome and rich, tender and calm.

Sound

It sounds like a fireplace crackling. Happiness sounds like woodland walks on secluded paths. To me it is symphony music and the effervescent bubbles of champagne. 

That is what happiness feels like for me. And reading it over, most of it includes activities I share with my dog. So maybe, for me, happiness is life with my trusty pup. How lucky are we to live in a world with dogs?

Did you try the exercise? How does happiness feel for you?