Tag: help

Sharing Our Peace

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My first time meditating after a couple weeks of traveling and I feel melty. The comfortable embrace of the duvet. The soothing tones of the guided meditation. I am not feeling wrapped up with some new idea or concept that I must talk to you about. Even though there are a million thoughts and ideas I want to share and savor by writing them out for you. Right now I am thinking of my own inner peace and my true desire to be of help to others. 

Perhaps today’s message is not so much about helping others but about how we choose to engage. Our role is not to be the solution but to be a port in the storm. A temporary life preserver or raft that helps someone take a break so that they may find their own way. We all need a friendly port from time to time, somewhere to rest and recover. Someone who sees that we are in trouble and reaches out to help.

In order to reach others we need to come from our own place of calm. Peacefulness can stem from calm seas and also personal choice. We are responsible for our own actions, attitude, and mood. It is when we are in our own comfort or peacefulness that we are able to be attentive to what is happening outside ourselves. And perhaps that too is a way to give ourselves peace by asking after a friend, reaching out to someone we love.

I’d like to make a distinction here between reaching out from a sense of comfort to share our bounty. As opposed to reaching out as an attempt to control or out of a codependency habit. We are not enmeshing ourselves in someone else business or their problems. Not solving their problems for them but making ourselves available to listen. Offering only support, not guidance or direction.

Offer a helping hand but not at risk of falling into the abyss yourself. Brenee Brown talks about being a supportive friend or partner when someone is in a pit of despair (Princess Bride, anyone?). We do not help others if we crawl into the hole with them just to suffer by their side. It is not supportive to sacrifice ourselves so that someone else my climb out of the hole and escape. Our role is to be there with our friends as they figure out their own escape. We call down what we see from our position or reach out a helping hand when they are ready for it. Think of this like handing a racer water as they run past – you’re not in the race but your are facilitating its completion.

These metaphors can sometimes cloud the issue but they drive home the same point, we are not above, beyond, or better than our friends and neighbors that are suffering. We are simply in a different position. If you look around and find yourself in a place of abundance and from that position you’d like to help someone else, reach out. Let people know that you see them. To know that we are not alone has its own healing power.

Even while writing this I took a break to reach out to a friend. She is transitioning between businesses, closing down a brand she built and creating something new. I have no doubt in her abilities or her timing. But when we are in the thick of change it can be overwhelming, so I sent a supportive note to let her know I’m on her side. To tell someone we see their strength helps to fuel their progress. I know that she will weather this storm and come away stronger. And incase she forgot it herself, I offered her my peace with no agenda. Helping others feels good.

These tiny actions help others to feel seen, us to feel generous, and anyone who witnesses our kindness benefits feels good too. This reciprocity is what keeps our relationship thriving. And bonus, long after this interaction when we find ourselves in a sea of change, we will know that other’s did it, and we can too. 

How do share your peace with others? How do you reach out without getting pulled down? 

And if you’re looking for more calm in your life – here are some tips to help get you there.

Noticing Synchronicity

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Do you ever notice when the universe is contriving for your success? At the end of the day yesterday I was scrolling through emails, attempting to clear away the clutter and give myself the gift of a clean inbox. Every so often I purge and unsubscribe, especially from services and sales that seem to perpetually be happening. It consumes a few seconds of every day but add that time up and it’s minutes every week devoted to deleting messages and notes from companies, services, or groups that I am no longer a part of or no longer interested in being as engaged with regularly. 

While in the process of going through these emails I came across one from a financial institution I use for my investments. I had seen the emails but by the time I get to it I felt like I needed one more thing to be productive today – to feel accomplished, to take something off of my list. I decided to follow a link they had been sending for at least half a year. I thought I could spare the time and so I completed the questionnaire and visited the new financial tool provider. It. Was. A. Gift. 

When I say that I don’t mean I came across a financial windfall, so don’t get too excited. However, I competed the questions and the prize was a library of tutorials, videos, and tools that I might use to become more financially aligned and literate. It is one of my goals this year to enhance our financial strategy and take the time to learn more about personal finance so that we might continue to grow healthfully and invest wisely. The universe had provided this tool months ago! I had to put the phone down to laugh and say thank you out loud. The solution was right in my inbox the entire time. But it was only by giving myself the time to see that I found it. Not every email is such a gold mine but this one was a surprise and a delight – a reminder that what we put out into the universe comes back to us. A nod to show me, once again, the universe contrives for our success. 

This one moment of synchronicity drew my attention to other areas where I was getting the help I needed but not in the shape I expected. I had wanted wellness coaching or a personal trainer and in my work inbox this morning was an email about services my employer supported healthcare program offers – both are included. Synchronicity!

My reading before bed was about the butterfly effect – how things that seem only loosely tied together contrive to create larger events. How the flap of a butterfly’s wings in the Amazon can produce a tornado in Texas. That example is extreme but synchronicity in our daily lives happens all the time. You have a song in your head and it comes on the radio; you’re thinking about an old friend and they suddenly call. These moments of serendipity show us when we are on the right path, heading in the right direction or following our proper course. And when we begin to notice them, we start to see them everywhere. 

By learning to recognize the synchronicity in our lives and clearing the clutter that can sometimes fill our inboxes, hands, and heads we make space for those things that are most aligned with our purpose and our path. It is only when our hands and hearts are open that we are free to accept all the wonders the universe has in store for us. 

What moments of synchronicity have you noticed in your own life? How has the universe revealed your path to you? Do you feel like these things are just coincidences or indicative of a higher calling?