Tag: Julia Cameron

Taking Care

Leave a comment

“Treating ourselves like precious objects makes us strong,” according to Julia Cameron. This has been a week of taking care of myself. It’s small things really. Little gifts that enhance the quality of life for the better. Buying myself flowers at the grocery store. I bought dahlia’s and floral cabbages from Canada and put them into an arrangement. I purchased the foods I like to eat – the delicious treats that I don’t often allow myself because I am purchasing something for someone else. Or buying what someone else likes instead of what pleases me. I’ve noticed somethings – first of all, I’m happier. I like my choices and it feels good to be taking care of myself first. The other bit I did not suspect or anticipate – everyone else in my house is happier too. 

I picked up sushi because it delights me. It’s a little pricey so we don’t have it all the time. However, because I got some for myself, I was also able to share some with my family. Everyone was in a better mood. I got to feel like a benevolent goddess for sharing and everyone else was pleased and surprised. Today, I made a caprese salad platter for lunch. I had enough to share and the entire family ended up eating it together. It wasn’t a super fancy indulgence, we had tomatoes, salami, and I picked up bread and a nice mozzarella. I tell you this because it wasn’t like I dropped $400 at the store on expensive treats. I just bought small things to compliment what we already had and it brought us all together.

Not one person these past few days has complained about the meal. No one has decided to “Make a sandwich.” Instead of eating dinner. Everyone is happier when I share some of the delectable delights that I had intended to enjoy on my own. This was not an intentional experiment. It wasn’t some grand idea or strategy. It was simply a desire to meet my own needs. A recognition that so many of us don’t know what we like because we are so focused on pleasing other people. We do this so often and so thoroughly that we don’t even know what we like. And that made me sad. It made we want to know more about myself and what brings me joy. And it turns out that when I take better care of me – I’m actually taking care of everyone else. 

It’s like that parenting adage that if you want to help your children, get yourself to therapy. The answer is not in healing them or fixing some outside issue. The answer to to heal yourself first. Meet your needs so that others don’t have to bear the burden of your lack. Give yourself an abundance of love and empathy so that when others come to you there is an abundance of love, support, and energy already filling you up. Only when you are full are you able to give. So if you need me I’ll be planning my own vacation and making more time to paint. The good of the world rests on my shoulders and I am not one to shirk responsibility. I hope you make some time to do some good and wonderful things for yourself too!

Preparing for a New Year

Leave a comment

As I prepare for the closing of one year and the opening of another I like to collect my journals. Each morning I write three pages of whatever comes to mind.* Sometimes it’s short stories, or a letter, or just complaining about whatever has me in a funk that morning. Some days it’s all about the weather or good news. It depends on the day. But often littered inside all of this writing there are gems – lists, to do items, goals. Dreams I have that I haven’t examined more deeply. These ideas may be used to write your resolutions.

Now at the end of the year, I am reviewing my journal entries and looking for goals and ideas. Sparks that I have had in the last twelve months that I either wish to make progress on or would like to add to my plans for 2023. I also do a word-web and find what is most inspiring or rising to the top of my list but we’ll talk about that in another post. What is most important is the focus on what I’ve already put on paper. I am highlighting and documenting these items on a list – if they were important enough to write down once, they’re important enough to write down again. 

My strategy is to combine all of these ideas into a list and then separate that list by topic – I like my resolutions to fit into several areas of wellness:

Spirituality

Physical Health + Fitness

Mental Wellbeing

Social circles – Family + Friends

Community + Charitable Works

Career

Financial 

Looking at my goals and where they fall in this list it shows me where I’m focusing my energies. And perhaps where I need more growth in the coming year. If my list is long and heavy in career but I only have “take more walks,” in my physical fitness area, I know that fitness needs a little more focus. Of course, these will never all be equal, there are some areas that are harder and some years where we’re just not ready to tackle a big project – like spirituality. These areas all require work and attention in order for us to live balanced lives. The goal here though is not to look at these as tasks or errands. If anything they are guide posts.

Will I achieve everything on my list in 2023? Absolutely not! I didn’t finish this work in 2022 and chances are I won’t get to finish everything on my list this year either. However, it does give me a place to start. It gives me an opportunity to see where my interest and focus has been in 2022 and to show myself some gratitude because littered in among the dreams for the future are also my accomplishments. Seeing my accomplishments highlighted (in a different color) feels pretty great. It’s incredibly empowering to look over a year of writing and see how much I’ve grown, to look back at happy times or see how I worked through challenges and obstacles. 

However you choose to organize your resolutions or plans for the coming year, I hope you take some time to yourself to take stock of how far you’ve come. I know I am always proud and impressed by the work I have done in a single year. The next year will bring its own challenges and opportunities. I hope we all come to it honestly and authentically, aware of who we are and what we are working towards. When we know what we want we can align our steps and plans to achieve it. 

This tool is just one of the ways I clear space and organize my strategy for the coming year. It’s time consuming but also a labor of love. A gift I give to myself as the year winds down. A little space and time to reminisce and reflect on who I have been. Which gives me better insight into who I hope to become in the next year. 

May your New Year’s be peaceful and serene. May your resolutions scare you just enough to inspire you to work hard. I wish you balance, light, and love in every day of this New Year! I look forward to seeing more of you in 2023. – M

*Morning Pages is a concept created by Julia Cameron. If you want to learn more I highly recommend her book, “The Artist’s Way.”

Getting Started

1 Comment

I recently attended a zoom where we chatted about organization. More specifically the feeling of powerlessness and overwhelm that comes from having an abundance of possessions. How having so many things can get in the way of progress. Too many possessions get in the way of living in our homes the way we want to and feeling free from the burdens of the past. It is humbling to consider how many of us have garages, basements, storage units full of things that we have not seen, used, or benefitted from owning in weeks, months, or years. In some cases we are even paying storage fees and the “stuff,” is not only not serving us but costing us. The key to freeing ourselves from this burden is simply getting started.

The freedom to live our lives the way we want to is often obstructed by the burden of too many possessions. That said, we need beauty, whimsy, and delight in our homes and among our possessions. If a variety of shoes delights you – by all means buy them, wear them, enjoy them. However, if an overabundance of shoes leaves you exhausted and drained because you can never find the pair you want then it might be time to let the shoes go. 

We all have those things that we enjoy and delight in owning – and that is completely appropriate. But when we feel obligated to maintain or keep items that do not serve a purpose or bring us joy then it may be time to reassess. I usually feel ready to purge after the winter months or visiting a place that makes me feel overwhelmed with clutter. It can be an enlightening and enlivening experience to donate those items that I no longer want or need. It is also freeing to share the items that no longer serve me with others. 

A friend attends a white elephant party annually where guests bring three items from their homes that they no longer want. The items that no longer serve them are redistributed among the attendees. The pieces that don’t find a forever home are donated. 

It feels incredible to release goods to the universe. And even better to share them with someone who may put them to good use. It is a powerful and freeing exercise. But getting started can be overwhelming. When we look at the clutter of an entire basement or the stacks that take over a garage we freeze.

When we have so many things that they no longer bring us joy but instead feel like a burden, we have an opportunity to make a shift. If looking at the stacks of bins overwhelms you. Or the anxiety inducing prospect of organizing feels like too much. Give yourself a time limit – plan to organize one box or bin a day. Do this organizing for 15 minutes and then stop. Give yourself a reward and don’t skimp out on it. Do this job for 15 minutes then it’s time to call a friend. Also, don’t tell yourself 15 minutes and then work for 30. You’re not foolish and your brain can spot a liar. If you overwork this time it will be even more challenging to try next time. You are simply getting started. 

Beginning a new task is always hard. I remember in high school a coach and I decided to start our training by walking. We wanted to be up and out for a walk early in the mornings. The first day we planned to go walk – we simply got up and went to breakfast. This seems counterintuitive but we rewarded ourselves first. As Julia Cameron tells us, “Treating myself like a precious object will make me strong.” We cannot berate and belittle ourselves and hope that things get better. We are all just big kids. Who among us responds well to being yelled at?

We naturally don’t want to do the difficult task and pressuring ourselves to accomplish it will not work. However, if we simply start the exercise, organize a single box or shelf, it makes it that much easier to move forward. And to come back another day to do a little bit more. Because we didn’t lie to ourselves or work past our breaking point – we simply took the steps necessary to make a little progress. Like a snowball at the top of a hill, we pick up momentum, speed, and weight as we roll downhill.

We can’t begin our progress and finish it in the same day. We simply have to start. Getting started and re-starting over and over until the task is done. And we can do a little bit every day to make our lives sweeter. This stead progress helps us to cherish the things we intentionally choose to keep. It also creates a home that functions well for us and our families. Organization and limiting our possessions gives ourselves the space to blossom and grow healthfully and wholly in the space we have and among the belongings we truly want in our lives and in our homes.