Tag: mindset

Aligning with Purpose

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Today I release myself from obligations and expectations. Instead I hold space for myself here where I am right now. I am free to love myself, support myself, nurture and nourish myself exactly as I am. Exactly where I am now. A lot of time when I’m scrolling on social media I feel overwhelmed by a list of items I need, “to do,” that only seems to grow. It feels as if I am being sucked into a vortex of tasks I don’t wish to complete. Lacking bandwidth, I have no time to take on any task I might enjoy or hope to do for myself. And isn’t that always the way? The tasks for school or kids, family or dinner, those items get done first and the labors of love the work towards our hopes dreams and passions falls by the wayside as frivolous or unnecessary. 

And that’s truly the worst part of it all. We convince ourselves that the goals, passions, interests, and nourishing practices that we have are supplemental rather than necessary. We shame ourselves into not creating space for those things that truly bring us alive and align with our purpose. These simple generosities are not small and they are not superfluous – they are necessary and the most important work we do in life. 

We need beauty as well as bread. We are not born onto this planet to labor, pursue wealth or power or relevance, and then die leaving behind an empty or shallow void. We are here to blossom, grow, create, and love. We are here to help one another. There is no prize for being, “right.” And separating yourself from those who are struggling does not make you stronger. In fact it shows the rest of the world your weakness. Love and compassion are brave and bold pursuits – they are likely the only worthwhile accomplishments there are for us in life. 

We are not here to, “win.” In fact our lives may be worse off if we do succeed based on the shallow standards set for us by society. To rise to the highest and most hallowed halls of success is seemingly synonymous with self-abandonment. The sacrifice of our values and dreams in order to obtain power, wealth, or prestige. And those seem like lovely things don’t they? To have so much wealth we are safe, so much money we need not fear being unable to provide for our families. To have so much power no one could harm us. But when you break down these goals they are all based in fear. They are all based in scarcity. Who are we afraid of harming us? Who are we afraid will take our resources or safety? Wouldn’t it be far more effective to simply surround ourselves with trust, safety, and love? 

And even if we live in places that feel unsafe or insecure, for whatever reason, couldn’t we still offer love to ourselves? Couldn’t we begin by giving ourselves the pleasures and kindnesses we crave? The following quote is attributed to Mother Theresa of Calcutta. “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” Aren’t we our family? Doesn’t this mean that we also need to love and take care of ourselves? Once we feel secure and sustained then we can share ourselves wholly with others – unafraid of the harm, danger, fear, etc. because those things may happen. We may get hurt. To help a loved one may require a sacrifice on our part of time, energy, resources. 

The thing is though when we deeply nourish ourselves we are not coming from a position of scarcity or fear. We are coming full and deeply nourished. We bring ourselves as cups full enough to overflow. And when we are asked to assist or support someone else we are not pouring from empty reserves, we are giving from our abundance. We are giving from a wealth of energy, wellness, and kindness. We have chosen to serve ourselves to give ourselves all that we need to thrive. Because we have been so generous to ourselves, we have more than enough to share and give to others.

Doesn’t that then lift you up too? To know that you are not only helping yourself but your family, friends, the world by simply being kind to yourself. Take that which you need and want most. It is not frivolous. Instead recognize that giving to yourself is the best thing you can do. That silly fun adventure you’ve been putting off is exactly what you should be doing with your time, energy, resources. Love yourself and love the world by being kinder and giving yourself exactly what you want and need, more fun, more joy, more love.

Treating Each Day Like a Vacation Day

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Not every day can be vacation but I’ve noticed when I start the day with a relaxed mind-set – I’m happier. When a day is for work, the guiding principal seems to be, “utilize every moment for impactful activities and choices.” I enjoy the day a lot less. There is more joy in the day when we focus on meeting our own needs first.

When I begin the day focused on work I find myself rushing, begrudging the tasks that I complete. Stressing out because I can only complete so many unpleasant tasks in a day. Doing things simply for the result of getting them done I find myself begrudging every extra step. Since life is primarilymade up of a multitude of mundane moments this can get pretty overwhelming fast.

The day takes on a pleasant energy when I focus on what I like to do instead. On a “vacation day,” I am already only doing what I want. Doing what brings me joy. Some days it is simply letting myself read a book or popping out to a yoga class. It’s a small chocolate or another herbal tea. These are simple pleasures. Rather than making myself feel worse for choosing something I’d like to do I simply do it. I don’t rush myself, I don’t guilt myself and I refuse to pressure myself to do it quickly. Reading a few chapters of a good book is delightful. Allowing myself to rest before I burn out is impactful and powerful. Doing these activities puts me in a growth mindset rather than a stagnant one.

To be clear I am NOT doing these things in order to be more productive. But I do find it easier to complete unpleasant tasks when I am coming from a place of rest, comfort, ease and satisfaction. We feel good when our needs are being met. It is a pleasure to go through the day as if it were a vacation day. It gives a little breathing room and creates opportunities to treat ourselves well.

How to you organize your day? Do you force yourself to stay on task or do you allow your day to unfold more naturally?

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Reclaim a Positive Mindset

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This month I’m noticing a shift in how people are showing up. As we prepare for a blast of snow storms here in the midwest there is an edge of negativity and and frustration. This post pandemic reality has not been easy on any of us. I want to take a minute to remind us all of the power we have to reclaim a positive mindset. 

The negative feedback loop does not just happen on social media, it can happen in our own minds as well. Following simple steps is helpful so that we don’t get pulled down into negativity. That said if you feel like you are depressed or need additional help, please seek out a professional care provider. You are not alone and there are experts available, don’t feel you have to face this challenge on your own. 

If however you’re simply looking to lighten the load and brighten your perspective here are some tools we can use to get out of a negative mindset:

Social Media – Revise your social media follows. Pay attention to the media you consume. If you find yourself dragged down or feeling sad or empty after scrolling, start by taking a break from your social feeds. After a break from screen time clean your virtual house. Clear out any account that makes you feel less joyful than when you first view it. It does not matter if these are accounts that belong to people you know, news sources, or causes you believe in – if the content is leaving you drained or in a negative head space, root it out. You can come back when you’re ready but for now it is time to cleanse and take a break.

News Sources – Being an informed and engaged citizen is important but if you are feeling overwhelmed by the content you are observing give yourself permission to let it go. You are not obligated to carry the weight of the world in order to be informed. Choose a positive news source or limit your consumption to one short block of time a day. In the 24 hour news cycle most information does not serve you. Do not allow yourself to be guilted or held accountable for knowing all. Your peace is more important. 

Connections – Pay attention to how you feel after talking with friends and family. Do you feel refreshed and enlightened? Do you feel bogged down or tired? There are some people in our lives who can suck all of the joy out of the room and others. After an interaction it can take hours, days, or weeks to recover. Pay attention to how you feel when you’re with others and if you notice things are heading south, get out. You can begin with boundaries and remind yourself of them as needed. 

Another idea is to make time to spend with people who lift you up and make your life brighter. Be attentive to who those people are in your life and make a point to spend more time in their company.

Mental Health – And again, if you find yourself feeling down more often than usual, seek out a professional mental healthcare provider. Caring for yourself is your most important job. You are your most important thing. The world is a more radiant and beautiful place because you are in it. We cannot win or finish the race if we do not take breaks to rest and recover.

Give yourself everything you need to thrive, feel nurtured, and grow. Reclaim your positive mindset. Care for yourself as you would a small child, pet, or plant. We need sunlight, water, warmth, and care – these things do not come by accident, they come by intention. Be generous with your self-care. Not only are you worthy and deserving, you are also unique and wonderful. There’s no one else like you in the world, so please take care of you. 

Abundance Mindset

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How shifting our focus can change our lives.

I am returning to a reflection on abundance. Lately I feel as if I have been living in fear and fear causes our minds to shrink. That’s not accurate, fear causes our attention to hyper focus and so instead of seeing the multitude of options we see only escape routes. Our instinctual fight, flight, or freeze responses shift us from an abundance mindset to fear. And fear only sees the immediate necessities. Which is what enables us to make snap decisions in fear but not always the best decisions. 

The Opposite of fear

An abundance mindset is almost the opposite of fear. This perspective relaxes us and enables us to see not just the next step but all of our options. Abundance teaches us that we do not need one solution or strategy, there are so many options to choose from. With an abundance mindset we see plentiful resources, a multitude of paths and strategies. We are not trapped and seeking the quickest escape, we are surrounded by bounty and we have the luxury of tasting it all.

Abundance reminds us that we are not in danger, there is time, and there is enough for us all. The abundance of stars, plants, trees, and grains of sand are only physical examples of the bounty within the universe and on our planet. New people are born every day, new ideas and discoveries made, and the opportunities for us forever multiplying. More books are being written than we could ever read and more puppies being born than we could ever pet. There is so much in the world for us to enjoy. There is enough for all of us.

Changing Our Lives

Shifting my mindset to abundance gives me the space to create and breathe with ease. I am not in a rush. That which is meant for me will find me, it will not pass me by. Just as I am seeking my goals, my goals are seeking me. I am doing the exact right thing and I am making the right choices. My only responsibility is to step towards my goals so that they may also step toward me.

The more grateful we are for what we have, the more we invite abundance to help us grow. As our perspectives become more expansive we allow ourselves to become wealthy in opportunities, joy, connection, and health. In abundance we see a plethora of options and we get to select those things that please us most.

For more on abundance and a fabulous scone recipe pop over… Sorry, I couldn’t resist the bakery pun.