Tag: organization

Getting Started

1 Comment

I recently attended a zoom where we chatted about organization. More specifically the feeling of powerlessness and overwhelm that comes from having an abundance of possessions. How having so many things can get in the way of progress. Too many possessions get in the way of living in our homes the way we want to and feeling free from the burdens of the past. It is humbling to consider how many of us have garages, basements, storage units full of things that we have not seen, used, or benefitted from owning in weeks, months, or years. In some cases we are even paying storage fees and the “stuff,” is not only not serving us but costing us. The key to freeing ourselves from this burden is simply getting started.

The freedom to live our lives the way we want to is often obstructed by the burden of too many possessions. That said, we need beauty, whimsy, and delight in our homes and among our possessions. If a variety of shoes delights you – by all means buy them, wear them, enjoy them. However, if an overabundance of shoes leaves you exhausted and drained because you can never find the pair you want then it might be time to let the shoes go. 

We all have those things that we enjoy and delight in owning – and that is completely appropriate. But when we feel obligated to maintain or keep items that do not serve a purpose or bring us joy then it may be time to reassess. I usually feel ready to purge after the winter months or visiting a place that makes me feel overwhelmed with clutter. It can be an enlightening and enlivening experience to donate those items that I no longer want or need. It is also freeing to share the items that no longer serve me with others. 

A friend attends a white elephant party annually where guests bring three items from their homes that they no longer want. The items that no longer serve them are redistributed among the attendees. The pieces that don’t find a forever home are donated. 

It feels incredible to release goods to the universe. And even better to share them with someone who may put them to good use. It is a powerful and freeing exercise. But getting started can be overwhelming. When we look at the clutter of an entire basement or the stacks that take over a garage we freeze.

When we have so many things that they no longer bring us joy but instead feel like a burden, we have an opportunity to make a shift. If looking at the stacks of bins overwhelms you. Or the anxiety inducing prospect of organizing feels like too much. Give yourself a time limit – plan to organize one box or bin a day. Do this organizing for 15 minutes and then stop. Give yourself a reward and don’t skimp out on it. Do this job for 15 minutes then it’s time to call a friend. Also, don’t tell yourself 15 minutes and then work for 30. You’re not foolish and your brain can spot a liar. If you overwork this time it will be even more challenging to try next time. You are simply getting started. 

Beginning a new task is always hard. I remember in high school a coach and I decided to start our training by walking. We wanted to be up and out for a walk early in the mornings. The first day we planned to go walk – we simply got up and went to breakfast. This seems counterintuitive but we rewarded ourselves first. As Julia Cameron tells us, “Treating myself like a precious object will make me strong.” We cannot berate and belittle ourselves and hope that things get better. We are all just big kids. Who among us responds well to being yelled at?

We naturally don’t want to do the difficult task and pressuring ourselves to accomplish it will not work. However, if we simply start the exercise, organize a single box or shelf, it makes it that much easier to move forward. And to come back another day to do a little bit more. Because we didn’t lie to ourselves or work past our breaking point – we simply took the steps necessary to make a little progress. Like a snowball at the top of a hill, we pick up momentum, speed, and weight as we roll downhill.

We can’t begin our progress and finish it in the same day. We simply have to start. Getting started and re-starting over and over until the task is done. And we can do a little bit every day to make our lives sweeter. This stead progress helps us to cherish the things we intentionally choose to keep. It also creates a home that functions well for us and our families. Organization and limiting our possessions gives ourselves the space to blossom and grow healthfully and wholly in the space we have and among the belongings we truly want in our lives and in our homes.

Sacred Spaces – Making a Creative Oasis

Leave a comment

My studio feels cozy and safe today. It feels like a warm and welcome reprieve from the outside world. It feels like exactly the space it was designed to be. It is warm, it is soft, and it is all mine. This is not a community space. It is my sweet little apartment. My home away from the world. I am so grateful for this space and the creativity and joy that I find and make in this room. I can already feel it working its magic, giving me the balm I need to think inventively and creatively.

This space feels holy and sacred, like a luxurious and welcoming den. A lair where I may heal and tend to myself as a sacred and special person. A place where my intrinsic value is nurtured and nourished. The space is warm. The walls are a buttery yellow and the windows bathe the space in delicious natural light, even on an overcast and rainy day like today my small lamp alights my workspace gently, as if respecting the boundaries of every other object in the room. There is much to unpack and arrange in this room but right now it feels blissfully disorganized. There are boxes of treasures just waiting for me to open and unpack them. There are mysteries and hidden gems in every package, under each lid. I delight in finding old friends in familiar places and giving them new life in this space. 

I am thrilled to welcome my precious belongings into my new home. I am excited to explore and imagine where each piece belongs. I am eager to see how I make this space my own.

Tonight I will make bolognese and chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Tonight will be a night of comfort foods and cozy family time. It will be a welcome reprieve from the challenges of the day. It will be an opportunity to give the gift of good food and comfort to myself and to my family. These gifts will be small but they will also be monumental in that they will be felt deeply by those I love. That is the point and purpose of generosity anyway.

Some ideas for making your own creative oasis:

  1. Boundaries – Make sure the space is your own. Or if you invite others in to join you, let them know what level of engagement and sharing your are comfortable with first.
  2. Art Supplies – I am always inspired in the art store and try to come home with some projects or tools I’ve never used before to get my creativity flowing. I don’t have to be good at everything and trying something new is always fun.
  3. Water – Keep yourself hydrated and energized so you have all you need to keep going!
  4. Writing utensils – It doesn’t matter if you type, write, or sketch, it’s always good to have a pen and paper to jot a good idea down.
  5. Quiet – Or a playlist of your choosing – the sounds that comfort you are always a quick way to breathe new energy into your space and create the mood you are after!
  6. Bonus – Anything that engages your senses, beautiful artwork to look at, images that inspire you. Some incense burning or an essential oil diffuser. A cozy blanket or fan that keeps air moving. Anything that brings you into the present moment will help invigorate your energy and get you in the mood to create.

Do you have a space in your home where you can recharge and rest? How do you create hygge in your home? What do you do to spread warmth on winter days?

5 Minutes Planning to Save 15 Minutes Work

1 Comment

I am finding myself in need of the reminder that five minutes of planning will save fifteen minutes of work. I’m rushing and pushing myself to complete so much in a day, forgetting that every day will have its responsibilities, duties, and challenges. And if I am perpetually pushing myself forward toward that next thing I am not able to savor the moment nor am I accomplishing those goals that I have set for myself. I am in need of a refresh, a break, and a vacation. Lately I have been blazing through the day like a warrior, only to conk out at night exhausted but also too tired to plan for the next day. 

Today a meeting was cancelled and that was such a relief. I have over-scheduled and overcommitted myself to so many projects, it’s time to breathe and take a break. It is time to refocus and establish how I would like to show up in the world. I am grateful for the opportunity to be still for a bit. This season has seen me pressing forward and pushing through. Now it is time to rest and reconfigure. I do that by remembering that work will always be there, there will always be another task, more to do, and always someone else asking for more of me. But what I need to give is less, I need to focus on myself, align my actions with my core values and pick and choose those activities to which I will give my energy. Here’s how I’m going to do that: 

Stop: I’m going to stop jumping to finish that, “one last thing,” or shoot off a quick email. I need only to take in the information. Rushing at the speed of light does not enable me to deliver my best work. The first key to doing too much is to stop.

Breathe: The next step I am taking is finding my center, aligning myself before acting. When I rush I take on more than my fair share. I overcompensate for others and the work they are not doing. I stay busy while other people have too little to do. I need to give others the space to step in and step up to help – which they can’t do if I’m in the way. 

I need to take a little bit of time to recalibrate and decide how I want to spend my energy and my time. If it is on this project, or this call, or this email, that’s great – but if these things are not fueling me and will not satisfy my larger plan or highest self, I need to let them go.

Discern: A couple years ago my focus for the year included discernment, which is the ability to listen and trust your inner knowing. Discernment means you don’t make a snap decision, go with the crowd, or do whatever is suggested. Discernment is the practice of looking within to make your decisions and trusting that your inner and deeper knowing will guide you down the path you should be walking – it already knows where you want to end up. 

Discernment is not easy, especially because we are often marketed to, nudged, and talked into acting in certain ways. We are encouraged to buy these items, dress this way, and perform as a cast and not live as real people – who are flawed and messy and do not have perfect hair all the time. To learn more about discernment I would encourage you to read my piece on how to incorporate discernment into your daily life – what I learned after a year of practicing discernment. 

Decide and Hold Strong: Once you have made your decision or selected those items that you want in your schedule and in your life, hold your boundaries firm. We all slip and we all sometimes get submerged – or re-submerged – by the onslaught of attention and activities and FOMO. When you make a decision it’s easy to feel tempted to break your promise to yourself in order to please another person – don’t! You’re learning to trust yourself and building trust with yourself, your “you time” is your priority and it is sacred. Don’t break you appointments with yourself in order to accommodate another person, you will only feel as if you have abandoned yourself and before long you’ll be stretched too thin. (This happens and it happens all the time, in which case just jump back to step one, Stop, and follow the steps from there.

Holding space for ourselves and setting boundaries is difficult. It can be especially hard when you’re choosing from a collection of opportunities you don’t want to miss out on. But as you practice discernment and holding your boundaries you start to see and feel your life moving with new momentum towards the things and people that bring you the most joy – and isn’t that the way every day should be? Shouldn’t everything we do move us closer to our goals, highest power, and happiness? What steps do you take when things get crazy and you start to feel overwhelmed? Any tips or tricks I might want to learn too?

New Year New Beginnings: Tools for Writing Your Best Resolutions

1 Comment

This afternoon’s mediation was on the new year and new beginnings. What do I want my story to be? Thinking about these pages and these posts. I am thinking about my love for this work and my desire to keep doing it. My dreams and goals for the coming year involve growth and hope. I am not unhappy where I am, instead I am deeply grateful to be exactly where I am in the world doing exactly what I am doing. This year I would like to practice more bravery and less trepidation – I would like the courage to leap and test my wings. I am also eager to invest in myself and my goals. Now that I have shared what my goals will be, let me share how I plan to pursue them – or rather the steps I take to keep myself aligned and working towards these goals. 

My goals for any new year are not so simple as two bullet points to start. In fact, I start with a word web, I draft and write about the things I am proud of from the past year – I pull out last year’s map and look at what I had dreamed and hoped to do and then I look back over the past year and see what items I accomplished. This is often a very rewarding experience because it reminds me of who I was the year before and what was on my mind, what I was looking forward to, and what hopes I had for myself in the previous year.

Then I look at the items I did not accomplish, those goals that were perhaps longer term than a single year, or more likely, those goals that I wanted a year ago but no longer align with where I’m going or who I am. Sometimes, they are just flukes of timing. My wish to travel more in 2020, certainly did not get accomplished. It was and is a wonderful plan, something I am finding ways to do in the U.S. for the time being. We had some exciting adventures planned, I’m looking at you Ireland. But the universe had other plans in mind and that plays a valid part in goal attainment, learning to be flexible and finding the joy where you are is an important skill set to expand as well. Bloom where you’re planted and so on. 

After I review the previous year and collect those goals that I am still pursuing, I celebrate. I was able to accomplish so much in a single year. It’s important not to just move the goal post and move on. By that I mean, and I’m learning and re-learning this all the time. It is important to celebrate your wins. You have to enjoy the good times because they sustain us while we endure life’s challenges. I make time to be good to myself, congratulate myself, and celebrate how far I’ve come before I move on to planning how far I’m going to go next. Not every field has an awards show or ceremony, and not every goal is that public, whatever your accomplishment or feat, I hope you take a break to savor the moment and honor all of the work it took to get you to that place. 

After the appropriate amount of celebration, only you know this time frame, a night, a week, the entire next year, that’s your call. But once it’s done, I collect my goals from the previous year that went unmet and I write them onto a new web, I add and fill in all of the ideas I have for the next year. I flesh out what those accomplishments will look like for me. And I determine what high level goals will be my priorities. I try to limit my top priorities to one or two goals, that seems to be the limit on what I can juggle and keep track of throughout the year. For example: a couple years ago the goals were, “more discernment and more fun.” Before that I made the goal, “the year of us,” making a point to spend more time with my partner and build that bond from which all of my other bonds grow. I choose differently each year and in the end that helps me to remain a fairly well-rounded person. 

Another way to keep yourself well rounded is to separate your goal web into different areas from the jump – I include the following, self, relationships, work, spirituality, physical health, and mental well being. Each of these areas is necessary for a full life and each of them requires efforts to the exclusion of others. You cannot do all of these things at once and by creating a web it very quickly becomes apparent which areas I am focusing on and which areas need a little more attention. When I break these pieces of my life into their own separate sections it’s easier to see where my areas for growth really are and where I am strongest. It also helps me to see where my plan and my path is taking me. 

Usually, once the annual web is created I simplify the larger ideas. Some areas overlap and if I’ve written an idea more than once, I know that goal is something that should rise to the priority list. My priority list is a short selection of 10 or fewer supplemental goals that I want to call attention to since I felt the need to add them to my web multiple times. 

In the end my resolutions take two pages – the rough draft web that I hold onto for the following year’s review and the clean list. The top of the page shows my one or two primary priorities. Then the list of ten, or fewer, high level goals from all areas and the web which lists in greater detail those items I really value, they meant so much I chose to write them down. 

Early in the year I check back on my list periodically to see how I’m doing and gauge my progress. But typically, by the middle of the year I have completely forgotten the list and go about my daily life, this way when I come back New Year’s week it is always a delight somewhat of a surprise to see what items were on the list. It’s a wonderful experience to look back over how far I have come in a single year. For me the exercise can be time intensive which is why I usually set aside a couple of days to reflect, review, and write out what I’m thinking. I find it is a lovely process to complete New Year’s week. 

For me resolutions are cathartic, the process of selecting and writing them delights me as much as planning for their accomplishment. It is a gift to have this life to plan and hope for. It is a joy to be surrounded by time and energy to pursue my goals. I hope this little road map helps you as you look at your own life, reflect on how far you’ve come, celebrated what you’ve done already, and look forward to what is next!  I can’t see where 2022 take you – I’m already so proud of you for being here! Wishing you health, wealth, and success in 2022 – whatever those words mean to you! Love, MK

Give Yourself the Gift of Joy

Leave a comment

I am feeling peaceful and calm, gently aware of where I am in the world. I am meditating but the impact is less aggressive because I am not going right from meditation to writing. I have also eliminated my little chocolate treat post-meditation and I miss it. I enjoy a gentle reward after I reflect and bless my day with introspection. I have been enjoying this new home so much that I haven’t created much space yet for taking it all in. I have been making choices, organizing bins and objects. Transferring items from old packages into new and refreshing our belongings by eliminating those pieces that do not bring me joy. I mix a little of all theories here – Is an item useful? Is it beautiful? Does it bring me joy? If not, I remove it from my collection. Allowances are made for exercise equipment that is arguably useful but certainly does not bring me any particular joy. 

I also try to remember that holding on to something because it reminds me of someone is not a good reason to keep anything. I once read, “Throwing out a sweater from your grandmother is not throwing out your grandmother,” and that sentiment really resonated with me. Because I have so many possessions that were generously given but hold no real value for me. Obviously family heirlooms are kept or shared with someone else who will appreciate them more than I. Photograph collections are digitized or placed in albums for the next generation. But even I know holding on to images for the images sake does not serve me. If I have an image that brings me joy I save it – but images that meant something to someone else are not mine to hold and I set them free to be recycled or saved by someone else to whom they mean something.

I am also doing something different with this move. I am bringing all of my possessions of a similar category together so that I may see how much of these items I have collected over the years. It’s one thing to have pictures, shoes, or Christmas decorations housed in various closets and storage areas throughout your home – it’s another thing to see the growing pile of family photos take up half of a room. It really puts into perspective how easy and how much stuff we gather as we go and how sometimes it is ok to let these things go. For me, it is seeing the abundance of those possessions that makes the letting go easier. If I can clearly see that I have several cookie sheets, it’s a lot easier to get rid of the rusty ones – even if they were made by a fine manufacturer. 

Seeing all of my stuff together in one place has also given me the freedom to appreciate, compare and contrast. Do I love these table cloths? Or do I only love them for that one event I hosted several years ago that was a ton of fun but I have not used them since? And do I like this glassware or is it out because I don’t want to damage the really nice stuff – in which case, what am I waiting for? I have champagne flutes I absolutely adore. I refuse to take them out in case one of them breaks. Or I am waiting for the right celebration. Well, the special occasion is life. I’m done denying myself simple pleasures and so out go the cheap glasses I never really liked and in come the beautiful and elegant glasses that make me feel fancy and posh. 

I have also ordered stationery for our new home – I have christened our new home with a name. It suits the property and house. I have always wanted a house with a name and I am done waiting for someone else to name it. I love having a home with a title. I’m delighted by stationery and cannot wait to write my grocery lists on customized paper that has our property name at the top. It is a simple pleasure that thrills me and I am finally ready to give myself permission to live freely and as I want. I feel like deep down inside of me my inner child is dancing, singing, and wearing fairy wings and lots of sparkles. 

What a joy to be in a place in my life where I can give myself these simple gifts and pleasures. What a welcome moment to have finally reached, where I can savor and enjoy being alive without penalizing myself. I can make my own life nice without waiting for permission or approval. This knowledge in action is freeing and liberating. How simple it is to be kind to ourselves and how silly it is that we spend so much time denying ourselves the very things that will bring us the most happiness. 

What sweet little gifts have you given yourself lately? Are there any simple pleasures you enjoy that you have been denying yourself? What would happen if you gave yourself that small indulgence?