Tag: philosophy

Release Your Worries to the Universe

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Sometimes the stresses of the world can be overwhelming. When I find myself loosing my cool I know that I have taken on too much. I recently heard about a concept where you, “listen like a sponge.” When we hear negativity we do not absorb it, we let it filter through our many holes. The wisdom that is meant for us will stick but the anger and frustrations of others do not need to reside with us. That negative energy is not ours to hold. 

Still, even with this knowledge, I don’t always practice it. On those days when I am loosing my cool I know it is time to let go of what I’m holding on to. I let go by offering these problems, worries, and concerns to a higher power. There is no issue or problem we have that the universe cannot solve and resolve.

Therefore, instead of carrying worry with me I release it. I do this by writing down whatever issue I’m having on a scrap of paper. Once you write out your concerns you can place them anywhere. You may burn them in a bonfire and let the ash of your worries be carried away on the wind. This is very cathartic and almost ads a ritual element to the process – if you like that sort of thing. Right now I have mine in a mason jar that I keep in my studio. You can write out gigantic problems, or even small ones that are persnickety, and place them in the jar. It is only important that you give the worries over to the universe. This simple action removes these thoughts from your head and enables you to let go of your responsibility for them.

Najwa Zebian writes, “Those mountains you are carrying you were only meant to climb.” Stop carrying the mountain, put it down. Free yourself from the burden of controlling or managing your own destiny. Embrace those things you can solve and complete. You don’t have to do everything, you only have to do your next right thing. Release the problem and let someone else solve it.

My job is not to control but to release control so that my higher power can get to work. The best way I have found to do that is by writing out my worries and getting my concerns out of my head and onto paper. I stop carrying mountains and leave them where I find them. I do the smaller things that I can, I solve the little problems that crop up. And somehow those really big worries find ways of working themselves out.

How do you let go of those things you cannot control?

Be Careful of your Character

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Last month we began breaking down the fascinating writings of Lau Tzu a mystic philosopher of ancient China, best known as the author of the Tao Te Ching (The Way and Its Power). He wrote:

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.

Watch your words, they become your actions.

Watch your actions, they become your habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Last week we unpacked, “Be careful of your habits,” which you can read here.

Using what we talked about over the last month as a foundation today, I want to delve more deeply into character as a virtue. Being of good character includes the habitual choices we make, which in turn impact the way our lives progress. The paths we take, the people we associate ourselves with, the activities we engage in, all of these small and seemingly inconsequential decisions work together to create our destiny.

When we are careless or inattentive to these daily or in some cases momentary decision points we can quickly and easily loose ourselves. It is in these moments that we are not present and being on autopilot can quickly derail our mastery of self. Failing to pay attention to where we invest our time and energy results in time spent poorly. American author, and Buddhist teacher, Jack Kornfield, writes “The trouble is you think you have time.” And I do this too. I scroll to delay completing an unpleasant task. I know I need to exercise but I fill the time with something else because I don’t feel like it. These aren’t moral choices in the moment but over time and with accumulation it is those small choices that will determine my health, wellbeing, my quality of life. I am sacrificing long term health and wellbeing for momentary or immediate gratification. 

Yet, with this Taoist teaching I am not asked to be perfect. I am not called to know all of the answers or to be fixed. We are only asked to watch, to pay attention, to gradually and slowly improve. We are invited to notice so that our momentary leanings do not become a way of life. We’re opening ourselves to the possibility to make a different choice this time or next. 

Becoming our most authentic selves is not something we do overnight. There is no remedy or medicine or solution that works. Developing our character is the work of a lifetime made up of minuscule choices. We do not have to be perfect. We do not have to have all of the answers. We only need to pay attention to be sure that the path we are walking, the people we travel with, and the destinations we visit help us to grow. Because it is through these choices that we will set our own destiny.

Be Careful of Your Habits

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Earlier this month we began breaking down the fascinating writings of  Lau Tzu a mystic philosopher of ancient China, best known as the author of the Tao Te Ching (The Way and Its Power), published in the 3rd century, who wrote:

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.

Watch your words, they become your actions.

Watch your actions, they become your habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Last week we unpacked, “Be careful of your actions,” which you can read here.

This one is trickier for me. Starting with my understanding of character. There is, “to be a character,” which typically refers to someone eccentric or interesting. There is also your characteristics – the unchangeable features of who you are designed by biology, culture, and community. And then there is the concept of having good character or being someone worth knowing. I imagine we’re discussing the third of these – having character similar to something a Jane Austen heroine might seek.

Collins English Dictionary interprets character as someone with the ability to deal effectively with difficult, unpleasant, or dangerous situations.

Merriam-Webster – Moral excellence or firmness.

To be honest I don’t think either of these is what Lau Tzu is talking about. Our habits make up our daily routines and our lives to a certain extent. In watching our habits we’re making sure that we are showing up in the world as our best selves. When someone asks how we are doing do we answer honestly? Do we scroll through our phones while people are talking? Are we cutting people off in traffic?These aren’t major moments in our days, possibly only a few seconds. A quick snap decision we make to respond on autopilot, half listen, or put our wants before someone else’s safety can become habitual. And even if it is just a quick moment or time grab on our part to, “get something done real quick.” We’re choosing to put ourselves first at a cost to someone else.

I often write about the importance of putting yourself first and investing in meeting your own needs before taking on anyone else’s. But here we are facing the opposite of that inclination – when someone chooses to put themselves first at the risk of harm or hurt to someone else. Even a gesture as small as scrolling instead of listening to the person we are with can be hurtful. Beyond that the quick choice to cut someone else off in traffic could result in an accident that potentially puts many people, including ourselves, in harms way. 

Therefore the character that Lay Tzu is describing is who we are when we think no one will be hurt. Who we choose to be when we think no one is paying attention or will know it was us. How do we behave when given the opportunity. Do we rise to the occasion or do we take what we can get? All of us fall somewhere on a wide spectrum of character and our positions are constantly shifting with every decision we make. Character is not a fixed or defined absolute, we are constantly shifting and changing, growing and learning. Being watchful of our smaller habits helps us all bring the best of ourselves to the table and to the world. 

Be Careful of Your Thoughts

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Every day on the drive home from school my family would pass a party center with one of those light up signs where someone would replace the letters every week. I don’t know who their message posting philosopher was but I read their work every day. I memorized the notes from that sign and they have served me well throughout my life. The most impactful posts, for me, were from Lau Tzu a mystic philosopher of ancient China, best known as the author of the Tao Te Ching (The Way and Its Power), which is the original Taoist text published in the 3rd century. I’d like to share them with you: 

Watch your thoughts, they become your words.

Watch your words, they become your actions.

Watch your actions, they become your habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Over the next few posts I’d like to unpack each of these sentences. Starting with our thoughts.

In yoga the experience of having our thoughts randomly jump from one idea to another is called, “monkey mind.” Because, like a monkey, if not properly attended to our minds will bounce all over the place. We are impacted constantly with sensory information and data that triggers our mental synapses to fire – we see a truck, think fire truck, fire, candles, Sylvia’s birthday is on Friday I have to remember to get candles. And the like. 

In meditation we attempt to still the mind – which isn’t so much actual stillness, except observing our thoughts with detachment as if we were watching them happen to someone else. Our thoughts are not for us to manage or dissect in meditation. As we meditate we are simply to stay aware that we are thinking but not engage with the thoughts – it is not easy. That said, it can be incredibly freeing to release ourselves from the constant mental leaps of consciousness and simply be both physically and mentally still. The guidance to, “watch your thoughts,” may be in reference to meditation. To separate yourself from your thoughts and observe them. 

Watching your thoughts could also be instruction to be attentive to the quality of the thoughts you entertain. Are your thoughts primarily negative or positive? Are they judging or shallow? A reminder that what we give our attention to is what we will draw to ourselves. If we’re thinking negatively we will want to talk about and discuss with others who share our perspective and will therefore draw more negativity into our lives. Are we thinking about ideas and concepts or are we thinking about ourselves or other people? This reminds me of the sage advice attributed to American First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt but originally stated by English historian Henry Thomas Buckle, 

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” 

If you were to be attentive to your thoughts would you be proud to say them out loud? Or if you find yourself ruminating on insults or past interactions might your time be better spent creating new happy memories? Or investigating ways in which you might make your mind a more pleasant place to visit? After all, our happiness begins from within, shouldn’t we do our best to make our minds and thoughts a pleasant place to be and live?

This week I will be watching my thoughts to see what I learn. I hope you’ll join me and if you feel comfortable, share what you’ve learned or noticed in the comments.