Tag: planning

Preemptive Self-care

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Taking care of my full self requires a multi-layered approach. This is not just exercise and rest, rinse and repeat. To take care of ourselves is not an afterthought or side hustle. It’s investing the same energy and attention we might give to a beloved pet or family member. We invest attention, energy, and resources into care and feeding of others. We deserve to do the same things for ourselves.

Oftentimes we run ourselves ragged – traveling for work, meeting the needs of family and friends, investing our time in activities that deplete us. It’s easy to do – our culture offers innumerable opportunities to entertain, distract, or sell us something. Making time to focus on deeply caring for our bodies and ourselves has become an intentional act. 

Caring for myself I like to start with basics. What does my daily routine look like and how could it better serve me? Am I losing time to scrolling and finding myself short on time later in the day? Yes. Completely, yes. Then I need to make a point to get to bed at a reasonable hour. That means a good night’s rest.

The next piece I notice is that I’m eating later in the morning, which gives my metabolism a late start. The best way to shift that is to eat earlier. That means meal planning. Outlining what I’m going to eat the day before, or even the week ahead (particularly when it comes to dinner time), is an investment in my wellbeing. 

We’re only two steps in and you’ll notice we’re talking about planning ahead, not aftercare. This is not recovery after you’ve already run yourself ragged. It’s noticing your patterns and taking the necessary steps to rearrange your day so that it works best for you. It can be incredibly frustrating to find yourself out of groceries or running late. But what if instead of finding fault in a single day you found a new routine that better suits your rhythms? Scheduling breaks when you need to rest keeps you from doom scrolling for half an hour. We all know our devices leave us mentally drained. As opposed to resting which allows us to come back refreshed and rejuvenated. 

The strategies above might not work for every person. But I have found that when I take the urgency out of making a quick decision now, I make better choices. It’s hard to decide what our next right thing is when we’re hungry, tired, or worn out. When I feel better I get make a healthful decision with future me in mind. Being intentional in my choices my days go a lot more smoothly.

When I make the time for myself, I decide when and how I need to be taken care of best. Investing my energy to make that happen I just feel better. I am better equipped to meet my own needs and that leaves me feeling more relaxed, happier, healthier, and pleased with the quality of my life. Small changes really do make a big difference! Let me know what you’ve tried recently that simply made your life better in the comments.

Investing Time Wisely

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How to make Your Agenda your first priority and why it’s important.

At the beginning of any new year I like to take inventory. I go through the accomplishments of the previous year and create a list of all of the things I have done – new certifications, courses, or trainings. As I collected together this list today I realized – in life we move closer toward what we make time for. And I want to be sure I’m investing my time wisely.

At the beginning of the year it is fun to set intentions or write out resolutions. However, any project that I devote time and energy towards I will get better at and I will improve upon. At the beginning of the year I have the opportunity to choose where I allocate my time. If I take trainings in website design or pottery I will get better at those things. Therefore it is important to decide what I am working towards. 

Delight in the Detours

I am not advocating for a military style adherence to duty. Detours and often they delight and surprise us more than just following a very regimented path. I am suggesting that if we don’t take control of our own time, obligations will fill our days. 

If you don’t choose good books to read you will likely end up scrolling on your phone. If you don’t register for creative classes, or schedule a vacation that time will pass anyway. The only difference between being where you are now and where you want to be is your ability to invest in making your dreams happen. 

Parables

There’s an old story about a woman who wanted to get her law degree. She tells her friend, “I want to go to school but it takes so long and by the time I’m done I’ll be 45, I don’t think I should do it.” Her friend says, “In four years you will still be 45. Do you want to be a lawyer then or not?” Time will pass with or without our approval – how we fill it is up to us.

I hope you choose to spend your time on activities that bring you joy. Remember the only way to go in the direction you want is to intentionally take the path that leads there. 

Facing Challenges

We inevitably face challenges and hurdles – some plans may be delayed. Or you might miss opportunities because something else is more important and that is ok. The goal is not to plan out every moment or control every situation. The goal is remember that you have power over your time – it is the most valuable and limited resource we have in life. 

Choose Your Path

Choose how you wish to spend your time – if it’s law school, or a nail technicians course, or pottery class. Don’t leave the course of your life to someone else’s control because chances are they will steer you where they want to go, not where you would like to be. If you have a partner or a family, coordinate plans so that as you’re moving ahead your traveling together. It helps to have friendly faces to share the journey. Growing together with people you like and admire does not happen by accident, it happens by intention. Fortunately, the power lies within each of us.

I wish you courage and fun on the new year’s plans. Register for that pottery class, or finally decide to finish or start that degree. I hope you find the path that leads where you want to go because that is always the path to success. Love and hugs friends. I wish you well.

What journeys are you beginning this year and what steps are you taking to make them happen? I’m taking a writing class!

New Season New Goals

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Today is one of those blissful days in the change of season. It is warmer than usual. The sun is shining brightly. There is a beautiful breeze wafting through our windows, allowing us to air out the house. How lovely to have this day to myself. I want so share some of the things that I am enjoying today in hopes that they serve you too. Maybe it will inspire you to do your own fall refresh and maybe create some new goals.

Journaling – Adding images, magazine cutouts or drawings, to the pages I have written but not filled the whole page. I am also looking to find where I have littered and sprinkled my ideas like fairy dust on the pages. I am getting ready for the new season. Part of that journey is writing down my goals and reflecting on the accomplishments that I have attained already.

Reflection – I want to try to begin my days with a bit of reading. Books inspire and uplift me. I am way too easily drawn in by inspirational pieces and well written books. I rush through them, eager to find out what happens next. It’s best to set a timer.

Meal Plan – I wrote down some recipes that I enjoy and don’t want to be without this winter. I recently found them floating around in the pictures on my phone. Recipes for seasonal favorites include: Cranberry Tea, that makes our house smell like Christmas. And Hungarian Goulash an incredibly simple, rich, and delicious meal that cooks for a long time. This meal fills our home with savory and cozy smells that warm you up even before you take a bite. The perfect hygge treat after a cold day of playing outside in the snow. I love collecting and preparing these simple delectable dishes. Foods and traditions that warm the spirit and the heart, make life so much richer.

Goal Refresh – I began a refresh of my vision board. I had planned to organize some magazine images I clipped with the intention of adding them to my vision board. The beauty of the vision board is that in addition to inspiration it also reminds me of how far I’ve come. I try to update the board annually with the goals I want to carry with me into the new year.

To make space for the new goals I have to remove those that I have already accomplished. It is always a delightful revelation when an image is ready to come down. I don’t throw these out. To preserve them, I gently cut them down and tape them into my journals. Including a small note reminds me why they are important. Once in the journal they continue to remind me of how far I have come. 

It feels so good to be moving forward. There are so many goals that I have been able to complete this year. I have worked hard to get where I am. And it is always nice to have a little time to reflect. I love to savor and celebrate these small moments. 

How to Carry Less Baggage

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I surprised myself today. My plan was to organize my lists and dreams into a small pile that I might take it with me to Florida for a retreat with my college friends. We are planning lots of time to talk and have fun together. But also time to ourselves to plan, write, and strategize our next professional moves. I am looking forward to learning from these women. There is so much they bring to the table and I can’t wait to absorb all that I can from them and their experiences. 

My surprise came when I thought I had streamlined my pages of inspiration. Whenever I find inspiring images or ideas in a magazine I take them with me. Cutting and pasting ideas into a journal. Throughout the year I collect images and words that move me and when I feel inspired I cut them out. The plan was to bring these momentos with me to add to the conversation and my personal reflection.

The small pile of cutouts and plans is ONLY organized once, maybe twice annually. So when I tried to pull these scraps of paper together, the notebooks, and magazines quickly and easily filled my carry on. As I looked down at all of the ideas I made the executive decision to leave everything at home. I will build the new rather than repair the old. Today I will carry less baggage. These meaningful pieces that I have saved will be there in December when I’m ready to go through them. Until then, I am freeing myself of the obligation to carry them with me.

I find that this process can be helpful when I’m envisioning my future, to have pictures, words, or ideas that I wan tot remember. It can also be a burden, when we feel obligated or overcome by the sheer volume of exciting opportunities we might wish to partake in. It is cathartic to release yourself from responsibility. You don’t have to carry all of these things forward with you. For me these items only have value as long as they are serving my growth and happiness. If they become a distraction from the enjoyment of my life, they simply have to go.

Even though I was ready to dive deep into inspiration on this trip. I realize this process is a personal one. It is not done while chatting over hot beverages. Crafting my future is done in sanctuary. For me the sacred in between time of Christmas and New Years. Rather than be worried about this I accept it. I need to carry less baggage. I unpacked the paper scraps and filled my carryon with swimsuits, beach cover-ups, and sandals. We’re going to talk about big ideas – my inspiration will only grow – and what I need is less baggage when I come to the conversation.

How do you release yourself from feelings of obligation? Do you hold onto ideas that inspire you? How do you carry less baggage?

5 Minutes Planning to Save 15 Minutes Work

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I am finding myself in need of the reminder that five minutes of planning will save fifteen minutes of work. I’m rushing and pushing myself to complete so much in a day, forgetting that every day will have its responsibilities, duties, and challenges. And if I am perpetually pushing myself forward toward that next thing I am not able to savor the moment nor am I accomplishing those goals that I have set for myself. I am in need of a refresh, a break, and a vacation. Lately I have been blazing through the day like a warrior, only to conk out at night exhausted but also too tired to plan for the next day. 

Today a meeting was cancelled and that was such a relief. I have over-scheduled and overcommitted myself to so many projects, it’s time to breathe and take a break. It is time to refocus and establish how I would like to show up in the world. I am grateful for the opportunity to be still for a bit. This season has seen me pressing forward and pushing through. Now it is time to rest and reconfigure. I do that by remembering that work will always be there, there will always be another task, more to do, and always someone else asking for more of me. But what I need to give is less, I need to focus on myself, align my actions with my core values and pick and choose those activities to which I will give my energy. Here’s how I’m going to do that: 

Stop: I’m going to stop jumping to finish that, “one last thing,” or shoot off a quick email. I need only to take in the information. Rushing at the speed of light does not enable me to deliver my best work. The first key to doing too much is to stop.

Breathe: The next step I am taking is finding my center, aligning myself before acting. When I rush I take on more than my fair share. I overcompensate for others and the work they are not doing. I stay busy while other people have too little to do. I need to give others the space to step in and step up to help – which they can’t do if I’m in the way. 

I need to take a little bit of time to recalibrate and decide how I want to spend my energy and my time. If it is on this project, or this call, or this email, that’s great – but if these things are not fueling me and will not satisfy my larger plan or highest self, I need to let them go.

Discern: A couple years ago my focus for the year included discernment, which is the ability to listen and trust your inner knowing. Discernment means you don’t make a snap decision, go with the crowd, or do whatever is suggested. Discernment is the practice of looking within to make your decisions and trusting that your inner and deeper knowing will guide you down the path you should be walking – it already knows where you want to end up. 

Discernment is not easy, especially because we are often marketed to, nudged, and talked into acting in certain ways. We are encouraged to buy these items, dress this way, and perform as a cast and not live as real people – who are flawed and messy and do not have perfect hair all the time. To learn more about discernment I would encourage you to read my piece on how to incorporate discernment into your daily life – what I learned after a year of practicing discernment. 

Decide and Hold Strong: Once you have made your decision or selected those items that you want in your schedule and in your life, hold your boundaries firm. We all slip and we all sometimes get submerged – or re-submerged – by the onslaught of attention and activities and FOMO. When you make a decision it’s easy to feel tempted to break your promise to yourself in order to please another person – don’t! You’re learning to trust yourself and building trust with yourself, your “you time” is your priority and it is sacred. Don’t break you appointments with yourself in order to accommodate another person, you will only feel as if you have abandoned yourself and before long you’ll be stretched too thin. (This happens and it happens all the time, in which case just jump back to step one, Stop, and follow the steps from there.

Holding space for ourselves and setting boundaries is difficult. It can be especially hard when you’re choosing from a collection of opportunities you don’t want to miss out on. But as you practice discernment and holding your boundaries you start to see and feel your life moving with new momentum towards the things and people that bring you the most joy – and isn’t that the way every day should be? Shouldn’t everything we do move us closer to our goals, highest power, and happiness? What steps do you take when things get crazy and you start to feel overwhelmed? Any tips or tricks I might want to learn too?

Expansive Meditations: Choose Your Own Adventure

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This afternoon I was completely lost in my meditation. I awakened to a feeling of lightness, freedom, and expansiveness. I lay down with the impression that I would focus on the concept, “Nothing in Nature Blooms All Year,” or “Blooming where you are planted.” Instead I feel stretched wide open and eager to make plans. I feel as if I have an opportunity to see the wide world and try new things. I am feeling like growth personified. 

We are in the midst of planning several vacations and adventures. We are dreaming of what comes next for us and what we want to do in the future. I feel burst wide open with possibilities. I could hire a yoga instructor and coach to join my girlfriends for a day on our lady-retreat. I could begin making reservations for our family vacation to see a certain mouse. I could hire my friend to take my updated portraits for my professional profile. I am brimming with ideas and when I lay down to be still and absorb I felt as if I had a finite number of items on my list and that I wanted to accomplish. Now, I feel like there is so much inspiration pouring in from every direction. The shift comes from choosing my guided meditation intentionally.

I often get into a comfortable rut, listening to the same meditations day in and day out, hoping that I will maintain the lessons I am attempting to learn by reinforcing and repeating the ideas shared. This can be true, it can be wonderful to listen to the same meditations over time as they are a solid touchpoint that remind me to be still and to savor certain concepts. However, it is just as important to spice things up – to choose the guided meditation intentionally. This process can be as simple as scrolling. 

I like to choose a guided meditation from a collection I know and trust. I like Sarah Raymond’s voice from the Mindful Movement and truly feel comfortable with her as my guide. Therefore, I quickly eliminate the vast majority of guided meditations that are not hers. I also choose my meditations based on the amount of time I have to spend, if I have time for a longer meditation I enjoy it. But if I feel rushed or stressed it distracts from the experience and so I’m sure to choose a meditation that helps me to keep my schedule and absorb what I can in the allotted timeframe. Then I search and scroll based on the parameters I have already chosen – some days it is trust in myself, other days it is inspiration to start something new. There are so many options but I often find exactly the meditation that speaks to me. And when I feel like the meditation I use is directly linked to my frame of mind it feels even more impactful and effective. 

Today I came in small and left big. It is thrilling to feel so large and wide and free. Having the inspiration to meditate is an excellent first step – but enjoying the benefits, living the calm peace and joy that comes of feeling spiritually, emotionally, and mentally aligned is a priceless gift.

How does meditation make you feel? Do you choose the same guided meditations over and over or do you change it up? What guided meditations do you enjoy most? 

Planning Your Joy: A Roadmap

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I want talk about the wisdom of Michelle Obama. “You have to plan you joy,” these words spoke to my soul and I hope it does to yours too. My time is often eaten up by obligations, duties, and expectations. Weekends falling victim to “to-do” lists and events. And before I can blink the year is done and I have done so many things for other people, groups, and associations but I haven’t spared a second for myself. I have failed to give myself time to nurture, nourish, and grow my own passion projects, interests or even my own self-care.

This year I tried something new, I scheduled monthly meetings with my long-distance friends. Those circles and people that I don’t see often but miss and want in my life. Here we are in December and I have rarely missed or re-scheduled these events simply because in January they were the first things I put onto my calendar. Seeing success with these endeavors I am going to apply this strategy to some other areas of my life. I am going to take this experience and Michelle Obama’s wisdom and use them both to enhance and improve my own life. I’m sharing my roadmap so you can too!


Planning my joy – I’m going to break this down into smaller bites.

Time for myself – These are what Julia Cameron calls “Artist Dates.” Dates that you don’t share with anyone else. You don’t take your kids or partner, you don’t turn it into errand running or a task. It is simply time just for yourself to have fun. The time is designed to spark your creativity and feed your inner artist. Naturally I am going to start by scheduling a couple hours at least once a week to do something that I am excited about and that interests me and this is just for me, a special treat, an experience that feeds my soul and fuels my creativity. I am starting with a class, open studio, something structured otherwise I procrastinate!

Partner Quality Time – Date-night is Thursdays at our house. I’m on the hunt for a babysitter to make these nights more special and meaningful for my partner and myself. We each need a night off dinner duty and a break from the monotony of routine. I have these dates on our calendar and they are refueling our relationship. Making time to get out and try something new together breathes new life into our union.

Kiddos – Once a week dates with each kid. This may be as simple as completing a craft together. But I often find that when I am in the midst of chaos my children will come to me with a fairly large request – “Will you help me make a quilt?” And while I would love to do this if I had the time, I am often in the middle of preparing a family meal or about to hop in the shower when this request comes in. So I’m carving out time for each child where we can read, go on a walk, or have a picnic lunch and go to the park. Now I can enjoy making beautiful memories with my children while they still want to spend time with me. And hopefully we’ll make it a habit that they never out-grow.

Family time – I’m starting with a once a month family adventure. I find that the memories I enjoy most are when we go somewhere new as a family and try something different. Just a day trip to somewhere nearby is all it takes to inspire us and bring us closer together. We play and learn together and because the experience is new to all of us, no one is bored, and no one is in charge. We are all on this adventure together and that’s the part that is most thrilling. My goal is also to share responsibility for this time – each person gets a month to choose what our activity will be. This will hopefully democratize the process so we don’t end up only going where one person wants and everyone gets an opportunity to pitch in and share a topic, place, or adventure that they want to try. I will let you know how this goes!

Time with Friends – I always love time with friends but I rarely plan it into my schedule. Therefore, I am adding a night out with friends monthly. Perhaps one date a month is a double date night. Or meeting a friend on their back porch for cocktails and we exchange spouses for the evening so each partner gets an adventure. There’s a lot of good that comes of time with friends. 

I’m also planning a dinner party a month. In the midst of COVID I have forgotten how to host. I have missed leisurely all day brunches, sporting event parties, and potlucks. I’m excited to stretch my hosting muscles again and get back into the kitchen and eating appetizers with friends while dinner cooks. I’m excited to make dining an adventure that we undertake together. I’m excited to get back to living.

What are you most excited about? What other tips do you have for making fun a part of your regularly scheduled activities and daily life? How do you make time for yourself and the relationships that really matter?