Tag: Positive Psychology

Social Media Cleanse

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The rain has stopped outside my window and it seems to have dripped green paint onto the weeping willow tree outside. There are suddenly millions of yellow green buds waiting to bloom. Being fully present to witness this moment feels like a gift and one that I have chosen for myself. I like to feel that I am choosing to do whatever activity I am engaged in, particularly social media. This week I wanted to share a little about a social media cleanse I tried. 

Level one is general media hygiene. Regularly clear your follows and determine what accounts are bringing joy and which accounts are simply bringing you down. Anything that leads you to feel inadequate by comparison has to go – we don’t need that negativity in our lives. I’ve written more on general media hygiene practices here.

Level two – back to the cleanse – because just organizing follows is not our only new practice. I’m talking about a full week of conscious and deliberate social media avoidance. The purpose of this exercise is to clear your head and make space for creative ideas to break through. It is an opportunity to reflect and recognize how much time there is in the day when we are not scrolling. 

I scheduled a week to be social media free because as an Artists Way exercise I have found it to be particularly powerful. Cameron calls her abstention a reading cleanse. No reading for pleasure or knowledge beyond what one must do for work or as necessity. That can be different things for different people. The overall purpose is to clear your head of everyone else’s stories so that you can really dig deep into your own creativity. It’s also a quick way to recognize how much time we fill by immersing ourselves in media.

I love the dopamine burst of reels on Instagram, or of finding something beautiful to pin on Pinterest. But when I am loosing too much time or feel like I can’t log off even when it is time to do so, that’s a good cue to spark a cleanse. This time my cleanse was not cold-turkey. I still watched the reels or notes that people sent. I simply logged on, replied to messages and got off. My logic here is that this an opportunity to connect with a real person. It is a moment of relationship building and that is more than simply watching what everyone else is up to and liking or posting a few emojis. 

When we aren’t scrolling or lost in the virtual world of our phones it’s amazing how much we can create. The space gives us room to do something new, unique, and fresh. We want to make space for our true and raw selves to grow and be nurtured. Much like the rain outside painting the weeping willow with spring greens, I want to have room and water to grow and blossom in spring time. We can’t do that if we are constantly being pruned by everyone else’s ideas, endeavors, and news. So even if your break is a day, an hour, or an evening, I hope you are able to create something that’s never been in the world before. I hope you’ll take the time to invest in yourself. 

Let me know how your social media cleanse goes and what new priorities you welcome! And just so you know all was not perfect over here! I was very much tempted to look at my phone more than I care to admit. Instead I cleaned the bathrooms, washed windows, wrote pages in my journal, painted, and spent quality time with my kiddos. Every second of it was worth it because I felt present, engaged, and more alive than I have in a while. I might just take this cleanse for another week’s run and see what happens! 

Prolonging Happiness

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According to positive psychology research Joy is a temporary emotion – something brought about by a singular moment or situation that sparks a momentary lift in emotional satisfaction. Whereas happiness is more sustainable, an emotion we can prolong for a stretch of time. We can feel happiness over minutes rather than just seconds. In order to prolong happiness we must first prime the pump, or get into the habit of feeling happy. 

To feel happiness more regularly we must first familiarize ourselves with the experience. When we get comfortable and aware of what makes us happy we ready ourselves to engage, experience, and eventually prolong happiness. We begin by noticing and paying attention to what makes us happy so that we may attune our attention to it.

Often when we talk about happiness we remember brief moments in time. It could be a night out dancing with friends, a child’s laugh, the euphoria of dating someone special. These are all delightful and serendipitous events that we can’t necessarily plan for – simply because all of these moments are joy. Happiness however, that more sustainable sensation, can be created through deliberate choice making and attentiveness. 

We are attentive to our happiness when we stay in it. We don’t distract ourselves or “forbade joy,” which Brenee Brown describes as staring at a peaceful child sleeping or watching an idyllic scene from a movie and anticipating something horrible happening. To be clear, foreboding joy is a natural inclination and something that we all experience. We do it because our happiness in that moment is so great that we fear loosing it. Therefore, we imagine the end of that happiness. Despite that preparation being of no use to us and costing us the loss of the very real happiness of that moment. To avoid slipping out of happiness and into fear, anger, or any other strong emotion the key is to first stay in gratitude. 

Staying in gratitude when things are good is the first step to sustaining happiness. Gratitude allows us to linger in that blissful sensation of peace and serenity. As we experience prolonged happiness or even just a burst of joy it is important to notice what is happening. Are we talking to a good friend or preparing a homemade meal we enjoy? Being aware of our bodies and selves in those moments helps us notice the signs.

Think back over the last week and write down the moments that brought you the most joy. Maybe you bought a new sweater or made a fresh batch of cookies for dessert. These don’t have to be major accomplishments. Sometimes our favorite song comes on the radio and that’s enough! When that happens write it down. When you have a list of five or ten moments of joy review the list. What, if anything those moments have in common?

Now that you have your list, you have a place to start. How can you create at least one more moment of happiness in the next day, week, month? These are simple opportunities where you can incorporate happiness into your life. If all of your moments are around food, could you make a meal at home and amplify the sensation? If your happiest moments are around friends, could you schedule a gathering monthly so you not only enjoy fun in the moment but also the happiness of looking forward to gathering? Come up with your own ideas and give yourself the gift of happiness. 

Incorporating happiness and prolonging happiness improves the quality of our days and lives. How can you enhance the quality of your own life today? If you need more ideas on recognizing happiness, we have some other creative happiness tips here.

Positive Morning Routine

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I have recently transformed my morning routine. Based on recent research I have formulated a new strategy for shifting my perspective. More about the science of this research here. I found that when I started my day it often began with to do list items and whatever conflict or negative pain point was most impactful in my life at the moment. Despite all of the wonderful things happening in world there was always something stuck in my craw. When I started my day this way I just felt like it snowballed. Instead of paying attention to the good things – I was seeing only conflict, negativity, and unmet expectations. So I decided to shift and create my own positive morning routine.

Here’s what I do now to brighten my mood at the beginning of my day. I’ve noticed that even on days when I have a heavier mental load to lift I find it hard to get back to powerlessness or frustration after doing this exercise. This is a writing practice. I’ve mentioned before that writing my morning pages helps me to sort out my emotions and ground myself each morning. To learn more about those, please check out my blog on morning pages and the genius of Julia Cameron’s work. 

Purge – I begin by purging, that first paragraph or two are just my dumping whatever mental load I am carrying, if it’s stress about work, a toothache, or family drama. All of it just gets dropped. This way it won’t need to distract me from what I do next. 

5 Affirmations – I write out five things that I love about myself or that I need to hear.

  1. I am strong – I can face any challenge in my path.
  2. The universe needs me and my work.
  3. Using my creativity is my gift to the universe.
  4. I am brilliant, bright, and bold.
  5. My work is necessary and important – no one else will do this work like me.

3 Anticipations – Things I’m looking forward to doing. These don’t have to be big or momentous – it could just be clean sheet night!

  1. Family dinner tonight.
  2. Sleepy cuddles from my kiddos when they wake.
  3. It’s sunny and I get to go to the pool today!

3 Gratitudes – This can be specific or broad. I included some vague ones below to help you get started. Though, I am truthfully grateful for those things too.

  1. My health.
  2. My family.
  3. Sunshine and blue skies.

One good thing that has happened in the last 24 hours. Just a few sentences here to remind myself of the good things that have happened in my day. This simple step helps my brain to look for the patterns of good things that go on in my life and not just the negative ones!

After I write out these things I find it’s really difficult to slip back into negativity. I find myself writing more about what I’m proud of myself for doing, who I’d like to spend more time with, or how I can improve or grow. This transformation reshapes my day, my perspective, and my mood. It invites me to begin from a place of peace, centeredness and joy. Instead of guilt or anger I am greeting my day with gratitude, anticipation, and full of love. If you try this positive morning routine please let me know how it works for you!