Tag: purpose

Subtracting to Add

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I recently watched an interview Trevor Noah, the former host of the Daily Show, did with Oprah. He asked her after having spoken with so many leaders in fields spanning all areas of interest and society what contributes most effectively to a person’s success. Oprah’s response was simple, “Everything – every choice and movement you make needs to be aligned with your purpose.” 

When you know your purpose you can direct your course towards making that path the one you choose to follow. Distractons delay, detour, or completely knock us off course. When you decide what it is that you want to do in this life and in the world – every step and decision you make should be in pursuit of that higher goal. Your energy, be it at rest or in motion, needs to be focused on that goal. 

To me it seemed much like writing a novel. Every line needs to have a role. Every word written must be necessary and relevant. Superfluous language or details only distract from your message. The purpose is the clarity of your story. If any line, paragraph, or sentence is not in service to telling your story, delete it. Every word must reveal more about your characters, provide your reader with necessary and relevant information, or it needs to be removed. Anything extra is distracting from that message. As an author this makes sense to me. It creates a solid ground and structure that I can follow. I am on a path and as I make my way towards my goal I only stay on the path that leads to better telling of this story. 

According to Oprah, this works in life as well. When you focus on your goal nothing should distract you. I have found that my heart knows what it wants it prioritizes that path anyway. The things I don’t want to do are so difficult for me to force myself to complete. There is mental and sometimes physical resistance to the things that do not serve my true purpose. It’s difficult and draining when I’m doing things that are not in service to my goal. 

I would encourage you to look at the things you are doing. What tasks feel like a breeze and you could do them all day? What projects or tasks feel like an absolute slog?

Keep a list beside you as you go through a regular day. Draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left side list the items that feel like a dream and delight you. On the other side of the line write down the tasks you completed but didn’t enjoy at all. Some things are necessary evils, we have to wash the dishes if we want to eat off of clean plates tomorrow. There are also some tasks that we do simply because we feel obligated. What terrible duties do you feel exhausted by? They are taking too much time and energy. Is it possible to delegate these tasks or remove them from your chore list entirely? Are they necessary? 

As you subtract those tasks that are not aligned with your true purpose and higher power you may find that not only are you happier but you are also free to pursue more of the good things that bring you joy and align with who you are. It may mean subtracting relationships, tasks, etc. But as you make room in your life for joy, purpose, and your dreams, life becomes a lot richer and more fulfilling. You are create space for those events, people, and projects that deeply nourish you and fuel your pursuit of your goals rather than distracting you from them. 

Experiencing Awe

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Today the rain is pouring outside. Thick heavy drops splashing on the window ledge fill our home with a gentle roar. The weight of life rolling down the window panes and over the shingled roof. It feels exquisite to be inside watching the water pour and the tree limbs sway. It fills me with gratitude. We are cozy, warm, and safe. Thunder powerfully rumbles overhead. The size and shape of the clouds creating noise and energy that astounds and humbles me. To consider the magnitude of ever shifting and rolling momentum fills me with awe. 

The rain and the clouds hovering overhead, remind me of the gifts this world has to offer us. The plenty that surrounds and engulfs our daily life. We are so small in this ever expanding universe. Simple situations and worries can seem so monumental to us. And yet, from the perspective of the world these are small things. Our desires, hopes, fears – all of them are so tiny. And really, what is there to worry about? 

Petty embarrassments, moods, situations – all of these things change like the weather. In a flash of lighting the storm has moved on and our small problems are similar. Much like the temperature, rain fall, the wind, all of it can go from the thunderous and terrifying to a gentle kiss in an instant. As Pullitzer Prize winning journalist Mary Schmich tells us, “In the end the race is only against ourselves.”

It’s powerful to consider – if we are not on earth to rush to any destination or achieve some lofty goal. We may only be here for this time, the journey, and all of its twists and turns. Our role may not be to fix, solve, or remedy. Our existence my be our only purpose. Maybe that’s true and maybe it isn’t. Perhaps we too are only here for a brief moment and have no other objective than to experience the awe and wonder that is life. What is the purpose of the rain? Is it not already perfect? What if we too, are already perfect?

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How to Pursue an Intimidating Dream

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I love the rejuvenating energy of early summer. The promise of fresh flowers, vegetables, and colors. I love the morning dew and how every leaf in my strawberry bed seems to be hiding some sweetness ready to be picked and devoured by my children. It always inspires me to dream bigger and imagine another fresh beginning for myself. It’s so exciting to dream bigger. I once read that if your dreams don’t scare you, you’re not dreaming big enough and it spoke to me. But I also realized that there are some very specific steps to take when we have a dream that is big, bold and beautiful that terrifies us. I want to share what I do when I get myself imagining some incredible things but need a little courage to go after it.

When a goal is definitely for me but I am hesitant to pursue it, out of fear or intimidation. I do the small things around it. A supplemental goal here, a similar but not quite goal there. I take smaller steps,  incremental progress is not substantial enough to scare me. I do just enough to move forward and slowly but surely that larger goal doesn’t seem so terrifying and it gets done too because the rest of the work is already complete.

Another way I face a goal that seems daunting or overwhelming is that I write out my fears and answer them. I write down all of the scary ideas that are floating around in my head. For example, 

“Will this be embarrassing? What if I fail? What if someone judges me and finds my work wanting?” 

And then I reply, “It could be embarrassing, so what? Will you die? No. Embarrassment has yet to kill anyone. If I fail I learn. And then I will be more prepared for whatever comes next. And there are always judges ready to heckle our work. Criticism is easy, showing up and stepping into the arena is hard – that’s why there are so many critics and so few artists. It’s hard because it matters. It’s on your list because it is your calling and your life’s work. You wouldn’t show up to do it if it weren’t important. And if you are judged perhaps you will help someone else to be brave by being first brave yourself. And who cares what someone else says, you do this work for you and you love it, if you’re proud of it, it does not matter what anyone else says about it.”

It’s incredibly empowering to give yourself guidance and a pep talk like this. It doesn’t have to be perfect, we don’t have to be perfect. We just need to hear that truth inside of us ringing clear and loud like a bell. That inner wisdom is giving us permission to show up and try. And oftentimes that is all the push I need to take the next step forward.

I hope these two little tips serve you and help you push past your inner critic to own and chase down those sacred dreams you hold in your heart. You have them for a reason, don’t let fear stop you from shining as brightly as possible. You are here to change the world and I can’t wait to watch you do it! 

Making Sense of Chaos

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We are living in the calm before the storm right now. Our current home and the home into which we will move next month are both in limbo. We are preparing to move, packing more boxes every day and trimming down the possessions we have out. The walls are naked and much like the purging before and the cleaning that followed, we are living with less. In many ways it is freeing. 

It is just enough upheaval to be in one home but also halfway out of it. I have been so focused on what comes next that only zoning out in front of a show seems to do the trick. My meditations feel light and I come away from them less refreshed and more focused on the mounting list of to do items that grew while I was attempting to align myself and my energy. Feng shui would say that my life is out of line because my home is out of alignment. There is no rhyme or reason to the stacks of boxes that are taking up every available space right now. Our home is typically a peaceful zone of respite from the outside world – right now the chaos is inside the house.

Here’s what I know about surviving and thriving in chaos. I need to breathe deep. I need to keep meditating even though it feels ineffective. I need to close my eyes and calm down. I need to go on a walk. I need to trust the universe and finish packing the almost full boxes that are lingering between open and closed. I need to finish wrapping up the paintings and art work still hanging on our walls. It is time to pack away precious momentoes and prepare myself to move forward. It is time to let go of attempting to control the chaos and to simply embrace it. 


Isn’t that funny about control. Ever having control is a complete illusion. The nihilist statement, “We live on a floating rock in a giant space with no real end,” beautifully articulates the breadth of control we completely lack. Being reminded of how small we are, how small I am, helps me to remember that this too shall pass. That this moment and all it’s stresses and fears and insecurities will not last forever. And I do not need to carry the responsibility for making it perfect on my back. What is to be perfect? What is my responsibility? 

My role is small and the work I do tiny, but like ants moving leaves from outside their hill back to the center to be used, shared, and of service. Perhaps those ants have a name or a dream but their role in life is simply to use their gifts to be of service to their community and so too is mine. 

My duty is not to analyze or predict what my impact will be in life or the world. My role is simply to show up and perform to the best of my capabilities the tasks I have been assigned and am inspired to complete. That is my work. That is my calling. And while I do not understand all of it or how it all relates together, that is NOT my work. I simply carry the leaf, sharing my thoughts and the fruits of my labor with all of you because you are my community, my fellow humans. You are who the work is for, and about, and to glorify. 

My brain is all over with the work there is to be done, but my focus, my next right thing is the completion of this piece. My next work is to take myself on a walk. I need to get out and to stretch my legs and to take care of myself. And then I will consider another task, my next step. 

What steps will you be taking next? Do you ever feel this inner conflict between taking action and stepping too far into thinking you can control the outcome?

Moving Forward

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Right now we are house hunting – and really, who isn’t? So many of us purchased our homes with a certain lifestyle in mind, basically, “we’ll be here on holidays and weekend mornings.” The rush of our lives precluded us from ever settling or coming to rest in our residences. Now that our society is shifting away from activities outside of our homes and closer to our front doors we are all scuttling around like hermit crabs, quick to switch to the larger shell that gives us room to grow. 

We all want spaces to work, live, and play outdoors. A few weeks ago Saturday Night Live did an entire bit equating Zillow searching to pornography – and they’re not wrong. Looking at other people’s properties, even if they are just dream houses, still inspires us. The idea of a different life in another home, a little more elbow room to share each other’s company is all very exciting. Our homes are becoming not only where we live and rest, but also where we work, where our children study, and our animals monitor the comings and goings of the Prime truck.

The hunt for somewhere to belong is not just practical it is leading to some existential questions as well. Where are our people? Where do we belong? Our extended families are located here – but where does our nuclear family fit? These are big questions and it is such a relief to not be the only ones having these difficult conversations. Talking with friends who are going through the same challenges has left me feeling supported and like we are not the only ones searching, not just for a home but for our community and our place in a new world. With an opportunity now to live and work anywhere it begs the question – who are we and where are our people?

As we all come out from our shells and (vaccinated) go back out into the world, where we call home is meaningful. Our homes connect us to those places we value, those people who have helped us get through this year, and we realize not only the value of close friends, family, support networks, but also of supporting our local businesses and those community resources that have sustained us through this pandemic. 

We know much more about the disease now, and we know who we can and cannot depend upon in our lives. The people who stepped up, who reached out, and who helped sustain us will be our friends for life. And finding a home surrounded by a larger community that feels like home, that supports us, grounds us, and gives us room to dream of who we will be next is our good fortune. 

As we continue looking I wonder what have you found most valuable in your home? What fixes have brought you comfort and joy? What updates are you looking to make? Or if you’re looking, what is most important for your next home to have?