Tag: relax

Choose Your Own Adventure

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As life unfolds around us, one spectacular moment to the next. It is easy to forget that life is a choose your own adventure. The predictable norms, the everyday dramas may constrain us with their familiarity. We become trapped in routine or feel trapped by the very goals we once felt ourselves striving towards. But much like pushing on a door that refuses to budge, terrified we’ll never escape the monotony. Like a haunted house, all it takes is a birds eye view to notice the door pulls open. We had the power all along and we only needed to take a step back to see it.

Feeling closed off from opportunities can be suffocating. But none of us has to feel that way. Take a few deep breaths, step away from the situation, and look at the big picture. When we feel locked into a situation we are operating in flight, fight, or freeze. Our instinctual focus on survival limits our perception to only the immediate future and what is imminently necessary for survival. The very strength that helps us see a path through the woods to safety in order to avoid a predator can be a weakness in our modern lives. Because when we relax and step back we can see a variety of pathways out or through whatever obstacles we are facing. 

Rest and recovery not only sustain us to go further they also give us the presence of mind to see all of the options and opportunities that surround us. There is not only one path, there are many. And much  like eagles in flight, our vision is not just of the trees ahead of us but of the entire forrest. Eagles do not flap their wings so much as glide. Riding air currents high above they are able to see further. When we take a long range view we do not need to work as hard. Like eagles we can work smarter, allowing the air currents to lift us above the daily discourse and into the larger picture. 

When we’re looking down from above we see the best path not just an immediate escape. We are no longer pushing ourselves to exhaustion. We are riding the waves and able to formulate a plan. It is both freeing and elating to see the bigger picture. So if your life is feeling more like a haunted house or as if you are trapped, instead of letting the monotony drag you down remember you have the option to rise above. You can take a step back to see what comes next for you. The next path or adventure you choose pick intentionally for yourself. 

Treating Each Day Like a Vacation Day

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Not every day can be vacation but I’ve noticed when I start the day with a relaxed mind-set – I’m happier. When a day is for work, the guiding principal seems to be, “utilize every moment for impactful activities and choices.” I enjoy the day a lot less. There is more joy in the day when we focus on meeting our own needs first.

When I begin the day focused on work I find myself rushing, begrudging the tasks that I complete. Stressing out because I can only complete so many unpleasant tasks in a day. Doing things simply for the result of getting them done I find myself begrudging every extra step. Since life is primarilymade up of a multitude of mundane moments this can get pretty overwhelming fast.

The day takes on a pleasant energy when I focus on what I like to do instead. On a “vacation day,” I am already only doing what I want. Doing what brings me joy. Some days it is simply letting myself read a book or popping out to a yoga class. It’s a small chocolate or another herbal tea. These are simple pleasures. Rather than making myself feel worse for choosing something I’d like to do I simply do it. I don’t rush myself, I don’t guilt myself and I refuse to pressure myself to do it quickly. Reading a few chapters of a good book is delightful. Allowing myself to rest before I burn out is impactful and powerful. Doing these activities puts me in a growth mindset rather than a stagnant one.

To be clear I am NOT doing these things in order to be more productive. But I do find it easier to complete unpleasant tasks when I am coming from a place of rest, comfort, ease and satisfaction. We feel good when our needs are being met. It is a pleasure to go through the day as if it were a vacation day. It gives a little breathing room and creates opportunities to treat ourselves well.

How to you organize your day? Do you force yourself to stay on task or do you allow your day to unfold more naturally?

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Spring Cleaning

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Like new school supplies in the fall, a clean start in spring clears the air and makes space for fresh ideas. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed I shift my environment and see if that doesn’t shift my mood. A little spring cleaning as self-care.

Rather than forcing myself to complete a task that I am resisting, I pivot. I do something completely different. I vacuum, dust, organize. And that one small activity creates momentum that carries me to the next step. Even if I don’t start my task, I feel productive and am rewarded with the space to begin. I may even have a new perspective on the task and work through some of my hesitation while focusing on something else.

I may be wiping down counters but in the back of my mind I’m laying out a painting or remembering to send that email. Getting outside to weed the garden, or shake out the rug brightens my mood because I’m outside. Clearing physical clutter frees our mental headspace too. 

When we give ourselves time and space, instead of guilt and anger, we feel better. And when we feel better we do better work. As Julia Cameron tells us, “treating ourselves like a precious object makes us stronger.” We learn early that we are spoiling a child if we give in to their demands. But this perspective does not mesh with what we all know of ourselves as human beings. When have you ever done something you didn’t want to do and felt good about it? 

When you don’t want to complete a task chances are you’re not ready to do it. Be patient with yourself and take your time. When we are kind to ourselves we feel loved, accepted, free to be authentic and creative. Performing at our highest level includes operating at our highest ability. We do that when we nourish ourselves, reward our progress, and gently correct our mistakes. 

To get ahead we do not need to punish ourselves. We need only to be more gentle and see what blooms. This spring start small and do what brings you joy first. Maybe you tidy a room or maybe you take a nap. See how being kind to yourself impacts your day and your life. 

Fall Rhythms + Natural Momentum

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As we come to fall the natural rhythm of life is slowing down. The leaves are falling from the tree tops, squirrels and frantically harvesting and burying acorns and nuts for the long winter months. And it seems like around me the world is speeding up. School has started, we must gear up for the holidays. We have duties, obligations, and responsibilities. It is a lot and it is enough. I recently watched a Ted Talk, by Dr. Darria Long, on triaging your life.

The presentation was mainly about facing our challenges from a place of quiet confidence rather than angst or haste. In an emergency room minutes stretch and instead of reacting quickly what is called for is calm and intentional decision making. When I sprint from task to task attempting to get things done I find myself stretched thin. I get frustrated because as I move quickly – sending out a text – replies are pouring in before I can move on to the next task. Before you know an item that should only take a couple minutes has taken fifteen or twenty. Which leaves me scrambling to make up that time later. 

However, when I prioritize and move slowly I am not less productive. I am more intentional. I recently added the ability to subscribe to this blog – spoiler, I was my first subscriber. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe! As I viewed my post via email I noticed how longwinded I have a tendency to be. Writing out the same explanation several different ways. And while it is helpful to see different examples sometimes less is more. My point is better made with a few well written sentences than in paragraphs devoted to the same idea. 

This realization is hard won. I had to learn it before I could improve upon it. And as I write and learn, I promise this blog and all of my work will continue to improve. A big part of that growth is taking the time to rest and recover. The year is winding down and we are all preparing for winter. This next season reminds us that nothing blooms all year. We all need time to relax. 

And as our to do lists stretch longer I hope you’ll take the time to assess and consider what is important to you. What do you truly want to do and be a part of? There are so many opportunities for distraction. I hope you choose to take this fall as a change of your own season, an opportunity to move more intentionally and slowly, not only to be more impactful and effective in your work. But also because we are all worthy and deserving of rest. We do not need to be forever achieving or completing tasks to have value. Simply being is enough. Our value is intrinsic, it is not tangled up with our productivity. Let’s remember that and honor our natural rhythm, take it slow this fall. 

Letting Go of Control to Accept More

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We’re preparing for showings of our home, putting out hand sanitizer and shoe covers. Dusting and scrubbing all the nooks and crannies we may have missed in our first purge before the photographer came through. I am downsizing my closet and clearing out anything that makes our house look a little too full. Just because we’re ready for more room doesn’t mean the house has to look like it!

The process of trying to clean everything has been a gift, it has helped me to realize that when I am clinging tightly to the small things my hands are too full to accept the larger blessings and good fortune the universe wants to give me next. I don’t love this lesson but I’m learning it.

Therefore, I am intentionally making a point to only do the next right thing. This often means something small, organizing a drawer or dusting off the dresser so that I feel like I have done my work. In letting go of my attempts to control the results I free myself. Not only do I feel lighter but it leaves my palms open, ready to catch whatever comes next.

The housing market is wild in the mid-west and, from what I read, all over the country. If I focus my energy on clinging to what we have, I’ll never be ready to catch the good things coming my way. And I want to be able to accept the goodness the universe has prepared for me with open hands. I do not want to be so fixated on controlling every small thing that I have no room left to grab something big. It occurs to me that we do this a lot. Hoping for more while desperately clinging to the things we have – what if we just let go?