Tag: resolutions

Investing Time Wisely

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How to make Your Agenda your first priority and why it’s important.

At the beginning of any new year I like to take inventory. I go through the accomplishments of the previous year and create a list of all of the things I have done – new certifications, courses, or trainings. As I collected together this list today I realized – in life we move closer toward what we make time for. And I want to be sure I’m investing my time wisely.

At the beginning of the year it is fun to set intentions or write out resolutions. However, any project that I devote time and energy towards I will get better at and I will improve upon. At the beginning of the year I have the opportunity to choose where I allocate my time. If I take trainings in website design or pottery I will get better at those things. Therefore it is important to decide what I am working towards. 

Delight in the Detours

I am not advocating for a military style adherence to duty. Detours and often they delight and surprise us more than just following a very regimented path. I am suggesting that if we don’t take control of our own time, obligations will fill our days. 

If you don’t choose good books to read you will likely end up scrolling on your phone. If you don’t register for creative classes, or schedule a vacation that time will pass anyway. The only difference between being where you are now and where you want to be is your ability to invest in making your dreams happen. 

Parables

There’s an old story about a woman who wanted to get her law degree. She tells her friend, “I want to go to school but it takes so long and by the time I’m done I’ll be 45, I don’t think I should do it.” Her friend says, “In four years you will still be 45. Do you want to be a lawyer then or not?” Time will pass with or without our approval – how we fill it is up to us.

I hope you choose to spend your time on activities that bring you joy. Remember the only way to go in the direction you want is to intentionally take the path that leads there. 

Facing Challenges

We inevitably face challenges and hurdles – some plans may be delayed. Or you might miss opportunities because something else is more important and that is ok. The goal is not to plan out every moment or control every situation. The goal is remember that you have power over your time – it is the most valuable and limited resource we have in life. 

Choose Your Path

Choose how you wish to spend your time – if it’s law school, or a nail technicians course, or pottery class. Don’t leave the course of your life to someone else’s control because chances are they will steer you where they want to go, not where you would like to be. If you have a partner or a family, coordinate plans so that as you’re moving ahead your traveling together. It helps to have friendly faces to share the journey. Growing together with people you like and admire does not happen by accident, it happens by intention. Fortunately, the power lies within each of us.

I wish you courage and fun on the new year’s plans. Register for that pottery class, or finally decide to finish or start that degree. I hope you find the path that leads where you want to go because that is always the path to success. Love and hugs friends. I wish you well.

What journeys are you beginning this year and what steps are you taking to make them happen? I’m taking a writing class!

Writing Revolutions

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As we enter into another year I am thinking less about the new resolutions I will make and more about the things I am resolved to not carry with me any longer. In order to make space in my life for abundance, joy, and love in the year to come I need to begin writing revolutions. This includes letting go of those things that are no longer meant for me. Releasing all that no longer supports and nourishes me and freeing myself from the obligations and burdens of the past in order to walk more confidently into my future.

For me this looks like releasing obligations made by a past version of myself. I started my writing revolution (I meant to type resolution here but I think the universe knows what I’m talking about so I am going to leave it – revolutions I shall have!). My process includes going through the previous year’s writings. I look for what goals I write and what dreams I still have on my list to achieve. There are two parts to this exercise and I missed one of them. I found my goals and dreams. I forgot to highlight the accomplishments and big steps I have taken forward. And therefore without the support of those accomplishments buttressing my dreams it felt as if my list of duties and obligations only grew while my progress remained stagnant. 

Logically, I know that I have just as many accomplishments as goals. But when confronted with multiple pages of work to be done and little to nothing on the list of accomplishments I felt rather defeated. And instead of coming into the new year refreshed, revived, and proud – I held back. I refrained from writing anything new simply because I did not have the energy to begin.

Therefore, rather than feeling defeated, I am embracing this teachable moment. I am releasing myself from those obligations. Yes, they were the dreams of a woman in the last year and some of them I will delight in achieving. But I am also allowed to release them to the universe. This choice frees me to move on to those things that are truly meant for me. I am setting myself free from the burden of accomplishing any more goals.

I may go back through the journals I have kept over the last year and highlight my accomplishments later. That process may lift my spirits and remind me of all that I have done in 2022. By the end of the year it’s easy to forget all I have done and experienced. Fortunately, keeping a daily journal and calendar helps me to keep track of these details. If you would like to join me in journaling daily – I write more about it here. Even without that reference point it is wonderful to feel as if I can still move forward with ease. 

I have done new things and challenged myself – I just don’t have a nice list organized. And I am done with carrying the load of that obligation forward. Instead, I will begin the new year with a fresh start and a clean slate. I will not burden myself with the work of a previous year. I will grant myself the grace and joy that only freedom from obligation can bring. This frees me to celebrate where I am and all that I have done (whatever that is). It brings me forward into a new day with joy, patience, forgiveness and grace. What a beautiful gift of a new day, in a new year, with nothing holding me back!

Do you journal or track your progress throughout the year? What tools do you use and do you find them truly helpful? What writing revolutions will you start this year?

Preparing for a New Year

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As I prepare for the closing of one year and the opening of another I like to collect my journals. Each morning I write three pages of whatever comes to mind.* Sometimes it’s short stories, or a letter, or just complaining about whatever has me in a funk that morning. Some days it’s all about the weather or good news. It depends on the day. But often littered inside all of this writing there are gems – lists, to do items, goals. Dreams I have that I haven’t examined more deeply. These ideas may be used to write your resolutions.

Now at the end of the year, I am reviewing my journal entries and looking for goals and ideas. Sparks that I have had in the last twelve months that I either wish to make progress on or would like to add to my plans for 2023. I also do a word-web and find what is most inspiring or rising to the top of my list but we’ll talk about that in another post. What is most important is the focus on what I’ve already put on paper. I am highlighting and documenting these items on a list – if they were important enough to write down once, they’re important enough to write down again. 

My strategy is to combine all of these ideas into a list and then separate that list by topic – I like my resolutions to fit into several areas of wellness:

Spirituality

Physical Health + Fitness

Mental Wellbeing

Social circles – Family + Friends

Community + Charitable Works

Career

Financial 

Looking at my goals and where they fall in this list it shows me where I’m focusing my energies. And perhaps where I need more growth in the coming year. If my list is long and heavy in career but I only have “take more walks,” in my physical fitness area, I know that fitness needs a little more focus. Of course, these will never all be equal, there are some areas that are harder and some years where we’re just not ready to tackle a big project – like spirituality. These areas all require work and attention in order for us to live balanced lives. The goal here though is not to look at these as tasks or errands. If anything they are guide posts.

Will I achieve everything on my list in 2023? Absolutely not! I didn’t finish this work in 2022 and chances are I won’t get to finish everything on my list this year either. However, it does give me a place to start. It gives me an opportunity to see where my interest and focus has been in 2022 and to show myself some gratitude because littered in among the dreams for the future are also my accomplishments. Seeing my accomplishments highlighted (in a different color) feels pretty great. It’s incredibly empowering to look over a year of writing and see how much I’ve grown, to look back at happy times or see how I worked through challenges and obstacles. 

However you choose to organize your resolutions or plans for the coming year, I hope you take some time to yourself to take stock of how far you’ve come. I know I am always proud and impressed by the work I have done in a single year. The next year will bring its own challenges and opportunities. I hope we all come to it honestly and authentically, aware of who we are and what we are working towards. When we know what we want we can align our steps and plans to achieve it. 

This tool is just one of the ways I clear space and organize my strategy for the coming year. It’s time consuming but also a labor of love. A gift I give to myself as the year winds down. A little space and time to reminisce and reflect on who I have been. Which gives me better insight into who I hope to become in the next year. 

May your New Year’s be peaceful and serene. May your resolutions scare you just enough to inspire you to work hard. I wish you balance, light, and love in every day of this New Year! I look forward to seeing more of you in 2023. – M

*Morning Pages is a concept created by Julia Cameron. If you want to learn more I highly recommend her book, “The Artist’s Way.”

Goal Setting: Getting Started

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Today is a day of new beginnings or at least getting started. I am preparing to step forward into plans that I have been making for some time. The goals are big dreams that I have been hard at work building, in some cases, for years. The progress towards this moment has been incremental and small, ongoing and labor intensive. It’s not sexy but it’s the only way I know to get ahead. The practical steps are the keys to my success and my feeling of anticipation today is a lot like standing on a diving board. 

I have filled the pool with opportunities and all I have to do is dive into the water to swim. My small practical steps have made this moment possible; Changing habits, conservative choices focused on long term goals, and planning. There is a lot of work that goes on before we ever get to the precipice. I have found the words of Walt Disney to be particularly applicable to this process, “Everyone needs deadlines.” I might not make my deadline but by virtue of having one I do make consistent progress toward it. 

Deadlines keep me aware of the timeline of my growth. If I only say, “someday,” and not “Five years from now,” I’ve created paradox where I could accomplish that goal any day from now until my death and it will always remain “some day.” However, when I have a five year deadline I see all the things that go into that goal, the little steps, the new learning, the coaching, and experimenting. All of the necessary and unsexy failures that will go into the big changes to make them possible and all of the hours that I will need to devote and I realize that five years is not that much time. 

Five years in the grand scheme of things is a very brief period of time. It is a lifetime to children and all they cram into the first five years of their lives is monumental. Consider an infant and then a reading, walking, talking, creative, and potty trained Kindergartener who has preferences, interests, and opinions. Someone who five years ago had only the raw materials for cognitive growth and development. That child had to make something of every experience, interaction, and engagement to become the person they are at five. That is much the same for us and our goals. 

All we know is that we have a goal and we only have five years to accomplish it. Maybe it will take longer than five years to achieve. Maybe we will face unexpected challenges, delays, or obstacles but when we give ourselves a limited time period in which to work we give ourselves the thrust we need to move forward now. 

We have to step forward because to delay would make us late for our deadline. If you’re late for your flight you miss it. But if you’re late for a personal deadline we learn something. Whether we move forward towards our goals or not the time is going to pass. To me it just feels better to look back and see progress.

I recently found a goal list my partner and I created outlining our plans for 2020. We had one goal, to get our house ready to sell. And then we brainstormed a dream house. We wrote a list of all the things we wanted in our future home and what it would look like, feel like, need to be our perfect home. And here I sit reading through the list in awe. All but three items on that full page list were included in our current home. That is something to celebrate and something to acknowledge – we made that possible. 

We set a goal and gave ourselves a deadline and we missed it by a year – we wrote the list at the end of 2019 for 2020 and then COVID hit, an unforeseen and unprecedented challenge. We were grateful for our cozy home and to have a safe and clean place to live. But facing that challenge we recalibrated, realigned, reaffirmed our commitment to the goal of a new home. In 2021 – we moved. 

We moved into a home that checks the majority of our boxes. We could not have predicted COVID all we could predict was that the time would pass whether we took the initiative or didn’t. Fortunately, we took the initiative and because of that we get to live our dream instead of just holding it. And I will confess looking around myself and seeing my dreams come to life is significantly more satisfying than holding them close and never diving in to see what might happen. You don’t need to finish everything at once but sometimes giving yourself a shorter amount of time to accomplish a goal gives you just the right push to get it done.

What dreams do have that you have given yourself a timeline to complete? Do you set one year, five year, or ten year goals? How do you stay accountable to accomplish them?

Snowy Days and Warm Thoughts

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The snow is falling heavy and thick this afternoon. It is filling in all of the steps we took this morning and burying further the lawn, snow forts, and snow people built just this weekend. The snow is elegant and slow-falling but it is thorough in its work, coving every branch, driveway, and surface it meets. It reminds me to be grateful of all that we are right now – everything changes so quickly. 

It occurs to me that in my January posts I wrote a lot about resolutions and how to make the most of the year to come. And while these steps are important and necessary, I don’t want to suggest that who we are and where we are right now is in any need of change or modification.

In the midst of COVID, we have become more focused on self-care. We are recognizing that health, both physical and mental, requires daily investment and accountability. However, part of caring for ourselves is going easy on ourselves. We are in the midst of a pandemic, and a very real snowstorm and there is no more powerful reminder of how tender we need to be than driving in the snow. We cannot stop completely for every sign. We cruise through unplowed roads, considering if the turn can be done before another car comes towards us in onward traffic or if the car behind us will have time to stop. Then having made the calculation and the turn, we pray that our own tires will be sure in their connection to the road, that the momentum of our wheels will take us directly downhill and not send us skidding off course into someone’s lawn or worse yet, some obstruction that cannot be moved, the curb, or a tree – they are so beautiful this time of year.

The beauty of the snowfall is its gentle nature, but snow is also a force to be recovered with even in small amounts. You will not rush to go anywhere in a snowstorm, even the mailbox requires a steady and slow step. 

Making changes in our lives can be wonderful and inspirational. However, I hope you undertake these modifications with the same slow pace and caution you would use to drive in the snow or walk downhill in fresh powder. Take your time, be patient, and gentle with yourself as you would the accelerator. Tenderness towards yourself is not something to be earned or apologized for – we are all going through a hell of a year, we are entering year three of Covid-19 and we are already doing enough. Supply chain demands, illness, and the very real mental strain this pandemic has put on all of us cannot be overestimated. We are all being deeply impacted and changed by this disease, and we are all transforming. 

We do not need to hold ourselves to the standards or timelines of the past. And I hope you know this in your heart, hope you realize that living with urgency is not as necessary as living with intention. That being patient and kind to yourself helps the world. When we are kinder to ourselves we show others how they may be more gentle to themselves and to others. Every act of tender self-care is an act of defiance and I hope you leave some wiggle room in your resolutions for ease. 

I hope you release yourself from the demands of performative progress. We are all transforming under this blanket of snow. We may be hibernating and stuck inside for a while longer but much like trees who loose their leaves in the fall, we are not dead, but only waiting for the spring to show all that we’ve been working on this winter. Be gentle with yourselves, cozy up by the fire, make a hot chocolate, watch the snowfall and bake cookies. It may be a new year but it is also a long journey and if we don’t stop to take care of ourselves we’ll never finish the race. Shovel the walk before you go to get the mail, take your time, it’s a beautiful time of year, if we only stop to savor it.

New Year, New Approach to Progress

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It’s halfway through January and I am already sensing a transition or shift in this new year. Time is moving as quickly as it ever has but I am not rushing with it. I have noticed that I am taking smaller, more practical steps toward my own goals and progress. I am also celebrating where I am and feeling contented, rather than displeased or eager for the next step. I am where I am supposed to be in this moment and I am grateful that where I am is so wonderful and that I have the good fortune to be here, breathing air and living life, to enjoy it. 

Let’s begin with the practical steps, as those of you who have been following know and for those of you who have not, we moved last summer. After nine years in our starter home it was time for more elbow room. Covid helped us along in this decision, but it was getting to be time. That said we have a new home and since we do not live on HGTV, the progress from new home to our home is a slow and steady process. We believe in living in a home for a while to determine what we like, don’t like, and how we are going to make the space more our own. We also do not have a limitless budget and so our choices are practical and timed out – we have not simply gutted the place. 

We have however made some small but deliberate changes and updates. I’m really noticing that this year, unlike years past that I am being more patient with progress. I am enjoying the process more and being more intentional with my choices. I know what I like and I know what works for us. I also know that Rome was not built in a day. As I consider these truisms I’m grateful. I’m grateful that instead of feeling like I have not done anything or beating myself up because my progress has been slow I am savoring the moment. 

Growth and change are never easy. The shift from one home to another is a big one and all of the solutions we hoped for in this home will not simply appear overnight. As we learn more about how we live in this space and we recognize our own needs in this house I am taking practical steps. 

We have larger visions and dreams – much like I have larger visions and dreams for this year as a whole – but instead of looking at my larger picture goals and thinking, “Whelp, I haven’t accomplished them yet, I might as well quit, or pick a new goal.” Instead, I am thinking, “How can I make these goals smaller?” I don’t eat an entire candy bar in one bite, I break it into pieces (because I’m a lady). Also, because it is impractical to do so, and a mess. So rather than penalizing myself for not stuffing everything I want to do into the first three weeks of a new year, I am congratulating myself for taking smaller bites. For not feeling as if I have failed because in such a short time my large goals are incomplete. 

Yearly goals, are just that, goals for the entire year. If they were easy enough to be solved within a week, they would not be on my annual list. They would be on my much shorter daily agenda. That said, I can make progress. Ina Garten recommends two steps every week to accomplish a goal and I have found that wisdom to be timeless and useful. I may not get something new completed in our new house every day – I’m still trying to remember where I put away the cleaning rags thank you very much. But I can order new light fixtures for the front hall. I can organize my Pinterest page and whittle down my options for rugs. These are not the re-design of the entire house but with these small steps I can make progress toward that goal. It will not be done in a day but with a couple steps forward every week, by the end of the year that’s 104 steps further than I was on new years, and already 52 steps ahead of when we moved in last summer. I’m already ahead and with continued progress this house will be a totally different place when we’re done with it – it will be our place and that makes it home. 

How do you stay motivated to accomplish larger tasks? What keeps you moving forward rather than giving up? 

Resolutions and Goals: A Template

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Resolutions and Goals: A Template

Today I want to share some of my plans for the new year to give us all a jump start. I actually wrote this goal template years ago in a journal and reference it throughout the year as the mood strikes me. Over the past decade I have found these goals to be a timeless guide to help me stay on track and grow in any direction I choose. I hope this goal outline does the same for you as they are designed to be supportive not restrictive. Please make it your own goal outline and add or remove whatever pieces suit you and your life best! 

Fitness

  • Massage Quarterly
  • Yoga Weekly
  • Meditation Daily

Relationships

  • Make time for reciprocal relationships
  • Prioritize my partner/ family first

Career

  • Do what I love on my own terms
  • Be engaged, excited, and challenged by my work

Education

  • Read (I track my reading list here on Goodreads) 
  • Take training courses that inspire and teach me new things Monthly

Faith

  • Meditate
  • Go on retreat – full disclosure, this stays on the list but I haven’t gone on “retreat,” since high school 🙂 Beach vacations count as does anything that inspires awe!

Family

  • Plan your Joy
  • Make time to have fun together

Financial 

  • Invest wisely
  • Pay off debts
  • Make a Plan for the Future – This plan changes annually as we reach goals we celebrate and then make new ones!

Happy planning, I hope this little list serves you as it does me! Best wishes for a New Year full of all that you dream and more!

New Year New Beginnings: Tools for Writing Your Best Resolutions

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This afternoon’s mediation was on the new year and new beginnings. What do I want my story to be? Thinking about these pages and these posts. I am thinking about my love for this work and my desire to keep doing it. My dreams and goals for the coming year involve growth and hope. I am not unhappy where I am, instead I am deeply grateful to be exactly where I am in the world doing exactly what I am doing. This year I would like to practice more bravery and less trepidation – I would like the courage to leap and test my wings. I am also eager to invest in myself and my goals. Now that I have shared what my goals will be, let me share how I plan to pursue them – or rather the steps I take to keep myself aligned and working towards these goals. 

My goals for any new year are not so simple as two bullet points to start. In fact, I start with a word web, I draft and write about the things I am proud of from the past year – I pull out last year’s map and look at what I had dreamed and hoped to do and then I look back over the past year and see what items I accomplished. This is often a very rewarding experience because it reminds me of who I was the year before and what was on my mind, what I was looking forward to, and what hopes I had for myself in the previous year.

Then I look at the items I did not accomplish, those goals that were perhaps longer term than a single year, or more likely, those goals that I wanted a year ago but no longer align with where I’m going or who I am. Sometimes, they are just flukes of timing. My wish to travel more in 2020, certainly did not get accomplished. It was and is a wonderful plan, something I am finding ways to do in the U.S. for the time being. We had some exciting adventures planned, I’m looking at you Ireland. But the universe had other plans in mind and that plays a valid part in goal attainment, learning to be flexible and finding the joy where you are is an important skill set to expand as well. Bloom where you’re planted and so on. 

After I review the previous year and collect those goals that I am still pursuing, I celebrate. I was able to accomplish so much in a single year. It’s important not to just move the goal post and move on. By that I mean, and I’m learning and re-learning this all the time. It is important to celebrate your wins. You have to enjoy the good times because they sustain us while we endure life’s challenges. I make time to be good to myself, congratulate myself, and celebrate how far I’ve come before I move on to planning how far I’m going to go next. Not every field has an awards show or ceremony, and not every goal is that public, whatever your accomplishment or feat, I hope you take a break to savor the moment and honor all of the work it took to get you to that place. 

After the appropriate amount of celebration, only you know this time frame, a night, a week, the entire next year, that’s your call. But once it’s done, I collect my goals from the previous year that went unmet and I write them onto a new web, I add and fill in all of the ideas I have for the next year. I flesh out what those accomplishments will look like for me. And I determine what high level goals will be my priorities. I try to limit my top priorities to one or two goals, that seems to be the limit on what I can juggle and keep track of throughout the year. For example: a couple years ago the goals were, “more discernment and more fun.” Before that I made the goal, “the year of us,” making a point to spend more time with my partner and build that bond from which all of my other bonds grow. I choose differently each year and in the end that helps me to remain a fairly well-rounded person. 

Another way to keep yourself well rounded is to separate your goal web into different areas from the jump – I include the following, self, relationships, work, spirituality, physical health, and mental well being. Each of these areas is necessary for a full life and each of them requires efforts to the exclusion of others. You cannot do all of these things at once and by creating a web it very quickly becomes apparent which areas I am focusing on and which areas need a little more attention. When I break these pieces of my life into their own separate sections it’s easier to see where my areas for growth really are and where I am strongest. It also helps me to see where my plan and my path is taking me. 

Usually, once the annual web is created I simplify the larger ideas. Some areas overlap and if I’ve written an idea more than once, I know that goal is something that should rise to the priority list. My priority list is a short selection of 10 or fewer supplemental goals that I want to call attention to since I felt the need to add them to my web multiple times. 

In the end my resolutions take two pages – the rough draft web that I hold onto for the following year’s review and the clean list. The top of the page shows my one or two primary priorities. Then the list of ten, or fewer, high level goals from all areas and the web which lists in greater detail those items I really value, they meant so much I chose to write them down. 

Early in the year I check back on my list periodically to see how I’m doing and gauge my progress. But typically, by the middle of the year I have completely forgotten the list and go about my daily life, this way when I come back New Year’s week it is always a delight somewhat of a surprise to see what items were on the list. It’s a wonderful experience to look back over how far I have come in a single year. For me the exercise can be time intensive which is why I usually set aside a couple of days to reflect, review, and write out what I’m thinking. I find it is a lovely process to complete New Year’s week. 

For me resolutions are cathartic, the process of selecting and writing them delights me as much as planning for their accomplishment. It is a gift to have this life to plan and hope for. It is a joy to be surrounded by time and energy to pursue my goals. I hope this little road map helps you as you look at your own life, reflect on how far you’ve come, celebrated what you’ve done already, and look forward to what is next!  I can’t see where 2022 take you – I’m already so proud of you for being here! Wishing you health, wealth, and success in 2022 – whatever those words mean to you! Love, MK

Body Knows Best: Trusting What You Already Know

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Today I meditated for 40 minutes. This is not a humble brag and I’ll tell you right away, I did not intend to do it. I awoke as if from a nap and in a haze, scrambling to return emails and complete tasks. 

Here’s another thing I’ll tell you, that time was a gift and I needed it. I am a firm believer in our bodies being attune to what we need, most days more than our minds lead us to believe. My mind overrides the messages my body sends me all the time. 

Body: “I’m hungry.”

Mind: “It’s bedtime, I’m not going downstairs for snacks.”

Body: “I’m tired.”

Mind: “We’ll just read this next chapter.”

Body: “I need care and attention. I just want to stretch.”

Mind: Emailing.

The goals are always pure. Keep a schedule. Eat a variety of healthy proteins, vegetables, and fruits. Deep condition your hair once a week. Give yourself a facial or a hydrating mask. At the end a of a long week, take a relaxing bath. Use the cabinet full of elixirs, potions, and sweet smelling mixtures designed to tempt you to care for your whole self. Get enough sleep. Exercise and meditate daily. These are all such good intentions. 

The reality is that I hit maybe 50% of these on a given day. Great sleep, schedule is out the window. Exercise – must grab quick lunch, a clif bar will have to do until dinner. None of it is intentional and I often wonder what a luxury it would be to live an independently wealthy life where my personal interests, goals, and self-care agenda were my primary concerns. But until that happens I am here and now in my reality – which is insanely blessed and beautiful. 

Some days it’s just hard. And somedays I meditate for forty minutes and feel like a golden goddess for finally reaching this goal but also guilty for it interrupting the rest of my schedule. I’m deciding right now, to put a pin in the guilt. I’m just going to celebrate the fact that this is a milestone. A moment I did not honestly imagine myself getting too, especially because my meditation practice is sporadic at best. Who knew? Clearly my body did, it gave me the time, the focus, the energy that my mind denied requiring in order to push through to the next goal, the next accomplishment. Instead, this was my goal for the day and I didn’t even know it. Lucky me. 

Communicating with Authenticity

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One of my resolutions in 2021 was to live with more presence and authenticity, to engage people from where I am and not from a place of insincerity or disingenuousness. 

The first piece is for me to be settled and grounded in who I am and what I am about. This in itself is a challenge as it forces me to slow down, reflect, and honestly consider my personal truth and how I want to show up in the world. I have found that showing up consistently with an open heart is a challenge but it gets easier with practice.

This arrival of myself as my whole self to conversations, meetings, and calls has led to shift in my own perspective. Instead of the performative me showing up, the one that wants to make you laugh, wants you to like me and is willing to compromise right from the beginning in order to make a new friend or please you has faded to the background. Instead when I arrive, I am already full, I know who I am and what I am about and a new question rises to the surface, the question is do I like you? What are you bringing to the table?

Where before I was consumed with how I was perceived I am now stepping into the role of a conscious observer. I am aware of how you are performing and what is being said, the tones and authenticity that others are bringing to our interactions. 

It’s cringe-y when someone does not present their whole self or when I can tell that the person on the other side of the call is being fake or just saying what they want me to hear not what they truly mean. Other times I might not have noticed this but now, now that I am looking at you to see you and not looking at others to see a positive reflection of myself, it comes to my attention. 

I am truly grateful to those with the bravery to show up as themselves with sincerity to conversations. I am disappointed when I am part of a conversation that feels contrived and false but I also can appreciate that not everyone feels comfortable or safe being their authentic selves at work or in the world. I’m grateful that I have taken up this practice. It has already taught me so much and revealed more than I knew I was missing. Like cracking an egg, I’m just now getting to the rich and beautiful insides of connection and communication, what a gift!