Tag: rest

Take a Break

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When we are pushing against an obstacle – physical or mental – we feel as if we are either pushing through or failing to push through. If instead we look to our obstacle as a resting point. We lean against the boulder instead of insisting on pushing we see there are other options. Take a break and see what you observe.

Relaxing into resistance frees you to see the full picture. In anger our attention is focused and limited When we feel threatened we are in fight, flight, or freeze mode. We operate on a very small data set, not seeing the full picture. We only see our escape routes, or the lack thereof. When we relax into our resistance – whatever it may be it allows us to see a fuller range of options. 

It is Sisyphus in Greek mythology that was doomed by the Gods to push the same boulder uphill again and again. Each day pushing forward on the same rock on the same hill, only to see the boulder fall again to the bottom every time he got close to the top. He did not even have the pleasure of new hills where he could at least see progress. The meaning of our work is tied not only to its completion but to the feeling that we have contributed in some meaningful way. Even if the lesson is only through the example of our failure. 

As human beings we are inspired by purpose and the meaning of our contributions. When we fight our obstacles instead of learning from them we fail to contribute. Could it be time to take a break? Could we walk around the obstacle instead? There is something meaningful to be found within the things we resist. Resistance and obstacles exist to teach us something. It is our responsibility to figure out what.

Maybe our task is to forge a new path or look in a new direction. We cannot know until we relax against the obstacle and stop fighting it. Releasing anger or frustration frees us to see new  avenues and opportunities. The resistance is not the problem but rather our emotional reactions to resistance are the problem. When we focus on the frustration or anger we are missing the lesson. The key is not push harder it is instead to rest, look around. Observe what gift this situation trying to give you and how can you learn that lesson and move forward? 

Accept the lesson, free yourself from the stress of the situation, and embrace what comes next. We make the meaning in our own lives. Let us not waste energy resisting the lessons along the way. How can you relax into your resistance? Take a break. I wish you peace, joy, and the pleasure of giving up on anger.

You Are Enough

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My offering today is not to direct or instruct but to share some hard-won wisdom. You are enough exactly as you are. You have all of the skills, talents, and experiences required to do everything that needs to be done. Even as we strive to grow and improve, never forget that you are completely perfect, exactly as you are right now. You are enough.

It is necessary and important to take care of yourself and to take your time. There is no race. There is no accomplishment that is more valuable or necessary than your own personal wellness and wellbeing. Taking care of your needs first – if that is mental health, doctors appointments, or just taking a break – these are your priorities. There is no power in exhaustion or depletion. And it does not serve you to do too much. Trust that those you are surrounded by may be relied upon. Let others lift you up and support you. Give other people the opportunity to surprise, delight, and share their gifts with you. 

Let yourself do less. So often our culture of consumption guides us to do more, be more productive, purchase more goods, be involved in more projects. But the answers lie in less. Consume less. Do less. Be involved in fewer things. Give yourself space and time to rest, to learn, to gather your thoughts before you push yourself to accomplish or acquire one more thing. Let yourself be done. Let yourself have enough. What you have is ok. You are enough as you are one this moment. And you don’t need to change, develop, learn or grow any more. Be satiated. Be satisfied. And let yourself enjoy the pleasure of arriving exactly as you are, where you are, right now. 

Choose Your Own Adventure

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As life unfolds around us, one spectacular moment to the next. It is easy to forget that life is a choose your own adventure. The predictable norms, the everyday dramas may constrain us with their familiarity. We become trapped in routine or feel trapped by the very goals we once felt ourselves striving towards. But much like pushing on a door that refuses to budge, terrified we’ll never escape the monotony. Like a haunted house, all it takes is a birds eye view to notice the door pulls open. We had the power all along and we only needed to take a step back to see it.

Feeling closed off from opportunities can be suffocating. But none of us has to feel that way. Take a few deep breaths, step away from the situation, and look at the big picture. When we feel locked into a situation we are operating in flight, fight, or freeze. Our instinctual focus on survival limits our perception to only the immediate future and what is imminently necessary for survival. The very strength that helps us see a path through the woods to safety in order to avoid a predator can be a weakness in our modern lives. Because when we relax and step back we can see a variety of pathways out or through whatever obstacles we are facing. 

Rest and recovery not only sustain us to go further they also give us the presence of mind to see all of the options and opportunities that surround us. There is not only one path, there are many. And much  like eagles in flight, our vision is not just of the trees ahead of us but of the entire forrest. Eagles do not flap their wings so much as glide. Riding air currents high above they are able to see further. When we take a long range view we do not need to work as hard. Like eagles we can work smarter, allowing the air currents to lift us above the daily discourse and into the larger picture. 

When we’re looking down from above we see the best path not just an immediate escape. We are no longer pushing ourselves to exhaustion. We are riding the waves and able to formulate a plan. It is both freeing and elating to see the bigger picture. So if your life is feeling more like a haunted house or as if you are trapped, instead of letting the monotony drag you down remember you have the option to rise above. You can take a step back to see what comes next for you. The next path or adventure you choose pick intentionally for yourself. 

Summer Break

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It’s summer break! Here’s a list of some fun things you can do to treat yourself better and create more fun and joy to fill your memory banks. Summertime isn’t just about kids having fun. So often we get jealous of people who go on vacation or children making their way to camp. What if you gave yourself the gift of fun too? Making time for fun and pleasure is not just for kids. Finding joy in your daily life keeps things exciting, gives us something to look forward to, and brings us closer to our purpose of being alive. We aren’t here to suffer or make amends, we’re here to thrive and enjoy every morsel. 

There’s a wonderful line in the Talumud which reads, “A person will be called to account on Judgement Day for every permissible thing they might have enjoyed but did not.” Embrace happiness and let your highlight reel be a joyful expression of your love for life and for yourself. These ideas aren’t super expensive or tricky, you only have to give yourself permission to partake in the delights.

  1. Watch the sunset
  2. Eat an ice cream or frozen popsicle on the stoop or in the grass.
  3. Swing at your local park – you can do this in the morning before it gets too hot!
  4. Take yourself to the beach – or turn your backyard into your own beach oasis with a towel, some sunscreen, and a shallow pool of cool water.
  5. Read a book under the shade of a tree.
  6. Take a hike or go on a walk in the evening with friends.
  7. Turn on the sprinkler and run through it!
  8. Take a nap.
  9. Draw with sidewalk chalk or blow bubbles
  10. Pick some flowers and put them in a cup of water

Invite a friend or loved one to join you in any of these endeavors for an added boost of connection and memory making. Joy is always doubled when shared. Happy Summer break!

Listening Within

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Today I am not looking backwards I am only looking forward. It is the only direction I am heading. I read something recently about how our pace is not consistent and that’s ok! Sometimes we’re going to charge ahead towards our goals and plans. Other times we will slowly and cautiously step forward. We may sprint, walk, or crawl – we may even rest and recover and that is important too. The only thing that matters is that we keep moving forward. 

I think that was the most meaningful piece for me to take in – that we are allowed to rest and recover. Particularly when things are hard – there are a lot of us feeling demoralized and down. We are allowed to be sad. It is important to take time to heal and hold ourselves and our loved ones close. This does not mean we are sitting this one out or staying silent on the issues that are most impactful and matter to us. It means we are caring for ourselves first and that is appropriate. 

When we are down or feeling tired we need rest. Self-care is a necessary responsibility. We will get knocked down in life – what matters is that we get back up. What helps us to carry on is the kindness and empathy we show to ourselves. 

Our progress is not measured by others. Let us always remember that we will never be criticized by people who are doing more than us. The people who are working on themselves, doing their own work, and showing up for their own journeys do not have time to critique us and our progress. Research shows that it is only those who are not proud of their own progress that have time to judge yours. 

We are accountable to no one but ourselves and as we authentically and generously listen to out inner voice and our inner calling we will move ahead. We are doing the good work that we were put on this planet to complete. Choosing ourselves and to stay focused on our own journey. Be gentle with you. Trust that you are made of stronger stuff than any of the challenges you may face. 

There’s a saying, “If God brings you to it she will bring you through it.” Trust that even if you are down for now you will follow your inner longing to get up and go forward toward whatever goals and dreams you hold in your heart. You already know where you’ve been – it’s so exciting to see where you’re going!

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Treating Each Day Like a Vacation Day

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Not every day can be vacation but I’ve noticed when I start the day with a relaxed mind-set – I’m happier. When a day is for work, the guiding principal seems to be, “utilize every moment for impactful activities and choices.” I enjoy the day a lot less. There is more joy in the day when we focus on meeting our own needs first.

When I begin the day focused on work I find myself rushing, begrudging the tasks that I complete. Stressing out because I can only complete so many unpleasant tasks in a day. Doing things simply for the result of getting them done I find myself begrudging every extra step. Since life is primarilymade up of a multitude of mundane moments this can get pretty overwhelming fast.

The day takes on a pleasant energy when I focus on what I like to do instead. On a “vacation day,” I am already only doing what I want. Doing what brings me joy. Some days it is simply letting myself read a book or popping out to a yoga class. It’s a small chocolate or another herbal tea. These are simple pleasures. Rather than making myself feel worse for choosing something I’d like to do I simply do it. I don’t rush myself, I don’t guilt myself and I refuse to pressure myself to do it quickly. Reading a few chapters of a good book is delightful. Allowing myself to rest before I burn out is impactful and powerful. Doing these activities puts me in a growth mindset rather than a stagnant one.

To be clear I am NOT doing these things in order to be more productive. But I do find it easier to complete unpleasant tasks when I am coming from a place of rest, comfort, ease and satisfaction. We feel good when our needs are being met. It is a pleasure to go through the day as if it were a vacation day. It gives a little breathing room and creates opportunities to treat ourselves well.

How to you organize your day? Do you force yourself to stay on task or do you allow your day to unfold more naturally?

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Spring Forward

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As we enter the new and fresh season of spring I am inspired a new. My energy is refreshed by the buds on the trees and hints of green arriving each morning. I myself am feeling renewed and eager to spring forward. After the winter month’s of reflection and rest, I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of spring. We had fresh and warm days this past weekend and their sunlight and beauty brought me back to myself. 

All winter it has been a challenge for me to motivate myself to get out into the weather. I have not wanted go for a walk or even skiing which usually brings me joy. Nothing was able to tempt me from the coziness of the fire, the comfort of a good book, and the warmth of my family room. I felt no desire to see other people or to adventure further than the rooms in my home. I have felt the need to hibernate. While that conservation of energy has been nourishing, the break in the weather has me eager to burn that fuel. I am ready to get out into the elements.

The delight of birdsong, the simple comfort of warmer temperatures brings joy. The inspiration of watching nature put on her finest has me eager to dress up my own home. I am excited to see what this new season brings and I am eager to share all that I have been reflecting on and learning. 

My seasonal hibernation has been full of reflection, contemplation, and the simple acts of unearthing the wisdom kept within myself. The knowledge of generations held deep in my bones and DNA. The very essence of life and my connection to the divine. I am hopeful that like a bird taking flight I will be able to delight in this new season. As we spring forward my plan is to share what I have unearthed and blossom where I am planted. I am eager to share and see what we have learned together.

What have you been working on this winter? Do you feel ready to share? Do you still need time to reflect and create privately before you share your art with the world?

Giving Yourself a Break

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Do you ever find yourself carried away? By emotions, by life, by the hectic schedule or seemingly endless incoming emails? It’s easy to get so wrapped up in what we, “need,” to do that we completely miss the things that we want to do in life. Today I want to encourage you to give yourself a break. Release the need to be productive and to hold yourself accountable for obligations.

For example, two years ago I joined a writer’s seminar virtually. I have yet to organize my notes. Perhaps this is not the priority I need to give my attention and energy towards. If I haven’t done it in two years, chances are I can let it go. There’s lots of guidance on how to prioritize our time, our tasks, etc. But so often that time gets eaten up by small things that are meaningless. And worse than that we are consumed by tasks that are merely distractions from those moments, people, places, and opportunities that we truly love. 

Today I want only to share a question. What if we paused and allowed ourselves the freedom, the space, and the openness to explore our interests, expand our horizons? Instead of pushing for one more email reply, one more item checked off the list, or one more task completed. What if we considered what fuels us? Thought about what brings us joy? Considered what feels like happiness to you? How does that look, feel, taste, smell, sound? 

In this post there is no wisdom, there is only the questions above and my ardent hope you give yourself a break and the time to explore them.

Slowing Down With Lavender Shortbread Cookies

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In honor of slowing down, today I’m sharing my recipe for lavender shortbread cookies. We’re all tired and I thought a little cookie could go a long way towards brightening someone else’s day. As snow falls outside the windows and I am once again reminded of my deep gratitude for cozy blankets, and thick socks.

This time of year is always a wonderful opportunity for reflection and hygge. As I cuddle up to write, under my warm blanket I find myself seeking ways in which to share this feeling with all of you – and I can think of no better way than to share a delicious cookie recipe. It comes from the creative geniuses at Hedgebrook, a writing community devoted to Women Authoring Change. If you haven’t seen their work before, I cannot recommend it highly enough. I’ve taken several of their online courses over the past few years and always find them valuable and enriching – this cookie recipe is much the same. 

When it’s cold outside I don’t need excuse to crank up the oven and fill the house with the cozy and homey smells of dinner and dessert baking. And since I cannot deliver these cookies to you myself, I want to share how I did it so that you may enjoy them too. 

Winter is a wonderful season of rest and renewal, I hope you let its goodness soak into you and nourish you deeply. Here in the midwest we don’t corner the market on hygge living but we do make an art of thriving in adverse conditions. It’s not always easy to stay joyful after a weeklong streak of dark days or heavy snowfall but having a hot chocolate, a fire, and a good book to cuddle up with always works wonders to lift my mood. I hope these cookies are just the ticket to help you slow down and savor the delights of the season. 

Rest, recover, take your time, and give yourself the gift of ease, you don’t even need to crack an egg. Sending you warm thoughts and wishes this winter! – M

Lavender Shortbread

2 Cups Flour (All Purpose)

1/4 teaspoon coarse salt (I used pink to add color)

1/2 pound (two sticks) unsalted butter at room temperature

1/2 Cup granulated sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon culinary lavender buds (I used some I had dried from our garden last summer – more on that here)

Sift flour and coarse salt together into a small bowl and set aside.

Beat butter on medium speed in an electric mixer (I used our Kitchen-Aid) for 3 to 5 minutes.

Add sugar, vanilla, and lavender buds continuing to beat for an additional 2 minutes. The mixture will lighten in color.

Add flour and salt mixture and combine on low speed until flour is just incorporated and dough sticks together when it is squeezed between fingers. Don’t forget to scrape down the sides of your mixing bowl and incorporate the grainy bits at the bottom.

On a sheet of wax paper, pat and form the dough into a log – about 12 – 14 inches long and 1 to 1 1/2 inches in diameter. If you prefer square or rectangular cookies flatten the sides as you roll it up in the wax paper. 

Chill in the fridge until firm, at least 1 hour. (I took a reading break.)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Remove the wax paper from the dough and slice the log into 1/4 inch thick slices. Lay cookies onto backing sheets (you can line the sheets with parchment paper, I forgot and they turned out fine).  Bake until firm 17 to 20 minutes. Cool completely on wire racks. May be stored in an airtight container for 3 to 4 weeks.

Christmas Reflections

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In preparing for Christmas and this New Year – I have been so focused on where I want to be, my goals and aspirations, that I haven’t appreciated that where I am is pretty amazing. This time of year always inspires Christmas reflections and gratitude. Everything I have this year was once a dream, everything from writing this note, to where I am physically. I feel a debt of gratitude and recognition of what we have been able to build in the last twelve months. We have accomplished a lot this year. But before rushing to list those things I want to be present. Being here in whatever this suspended time of the year is for all of us.

The time and space after the build up to Christmas, the lull, and almost comatose vegging out of the week between Christmas and New Years. There is no need to purchase anything, we are dining on left-overs. We are hungover from all of the traditional social interactions and family gossip. Thinking about the year to come or not thinking at all. Watching too many Hallmark movies and just being still. What an absolute gift to ourselves. It is a joy to be able to rest and to feel no obligation to instruct, guide, or lead. We are simply present and maybe only vaguely aware – the days blend together and all of it melds peacefully into one restive blob. 

This year I am grateful for our first year in our new home, I’m grateful for health, and I’m grateful for rest. I’m grateful that my family is here around me. I’m grateful we have each other and that we are able to celebrate the holidays together. Grateful for quiet afternoons, naps, and ease. I am grateful to myself for taking this time and not pressuring myself to be productive. 

I am so grateful for relaxing family nights and the joy of sharing a family meal. I am glad for what we have and what we share. Every night this week we have prepared a meal from scratch. Some meals are more ornate and involved than others. But most are simple family recipes that are our own traditions. “Oh Christmas Bahn Mi,” and Grandma’s Chicken Parmesan.

These are delicious and filling meals that not only satisfy our need for dinner but will also make enough to freeze. This is a gift we give ourselves. Before we are in that zone of too much presents, food, and dessert we cook. That way when all we are seeking is a Christmas carrot – there will still be food prepared that requires no effort. We simply warm it up and we are nourished and satisfied. What a gift this time is to rest, relax and deeply nourish ourselves and our families. 

We often spoil each other with gifts and treats. When really, the gift we all want is to watch an old movie, to rest and relax together. We want to be our honest and unguarded selves. Our only goal is to luxuriate in the slower pace and feel no obligation to rush, attend to, or show up for anyone or anything else. Just to simply be peaceful, easy, and home. 

And maybe that’s what I’m writing about after all. These Christmas reflections are about finding home where ever we are and with whomever we choose. The creation of safety, peace, and security. The gift of protection, honesty, new traditions and old melding into the creation of home. We are grateful for building a life and space where everyone is loved and accepted exactly as they are and loved.

We are all so deeply loved and I don’t know what to call it. This may not even have a name but it feels safe, cozy, hygge, health, love, warmth, ease, peace, and tenderness. Whatever the German word for this is, I feel it deep in my soul. I am content and I am happy. This is all I’ve been looking for all my life, and here I have it. More than anything I hope you do too. Here in this virtual living room I hope you feel it. You are all so welcome here, I love you, I’m glad you came, let’s watch another movie.