Tag: space

The Gift of Less

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As we inch closer to towards the end of the year there is always this temptation to cram in as many events as we possibly can. I love the holidays and I love celebration. The opportunity to gather, connect, and rekindle friendships is so enchanting. However, it can be overwhelming to add more to our plates than we have to give. Not only are we inviting friends to join us but we are being invited elsewhere. Our schedules fill up quickly.

This year, as I stare at the twinkling lights on our tree – up before Thanksgiving because we are hosting our first holiday party on Saturday, I am reminded that there is never enough time for all of the things we want to do. There will always be one more party, call, or event.

The best advice I can offer when the list keeps growing is to give the gift of less. Pause. Consider, what’s one thing I can take off this list right now? What is one less thing that I can do to give myself space. What can I do less of in the year ahead?

This practice sounds simple. But it can be a real challenge when we’re involved in social life, our communities, and relationships. One way to dig deep is to consider what brings us joy? What truly delights you and enhances your life? When you consider the friends and events, it’s easy to get wrapped up in “tradition,” or what is comfortable.

In the new year I challenge you, and myself, to look at daily life. How do you spend a regular day? Does it feel nourishing and fulfilling? What tasks, people, or experiences fill you up and which feel draining. If a person, place, or activity is taking from your energy rather than filling you up – let it go!

It’s important to remember that no matter what we give to the world, our partners, or families and friends we need to keep a bit of ourselves for ourselves. Never give away that which you need. In fact, you are of no use to anyone, least of all yourself, if you are perpetually running on empty. Save some of you for you.

As you give back time an energy to yourself that it becomes easier to whittle away the things that have become obligations rather than joys. Even if you let go of something you later want back, nothing is permanent, everything is temporary. You’ll make mistakes, figure it out and move on. As you take away those things that no longer serve you, it creates space for the things that nourish, fill you up, and bring you joy. And that’s a new year worth getting excited about!

Honor Your Aura

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I recently had lunch with a friend who happened to notice my aura. He observed that mine is white. Later I looked up what a white aura means. White auras are the rarest hue. They indicate someone who is typically calm and who may be impressionable or at risk of taking on the energies of others. To honor your aura you first have to know what it is! To find what color your aura is you can try this technique.

I experienced a great test of that white aura energy absorption recently. Today we had some work done on our house. The dog was protective and his anxious energy flooded into me. After a few hours I noticed how worn down and exhausted I became just interacting with others.

Some say we get truly tired when we are doing too much of what we don’t want to do and not feeding our passions. Others believe that it depends on our personality type. If we are naturally introverted being among other people can drain us, more than being in solitude. As many of us juggle jobs, schedules, and social engagements it is worth considering what serves us. Evaluating if you require more time alone or at home. Do you feed off of the energy of others or does it exhaust you?

There is no right answer for all of us. And most of us exist on a spectrum. The benefits of taking time to consider and evaluate what feels healthiest to you. Do you feel your best when you are engaged with others or do you thrive when left alone? I notice that I need more time alone to reflect, work, and create independently. Whether my aura is white or not, it takes a lot out of me to be around crowds or groups. Therefore, I try to limit those gatherings to shorter time periods and frequency. I also try to keep my surroundings familiar and comfortable.  

There are always situations we can’t control – the dog freaking out, a traffic delay, or even consuming media that leaves us more drained than filled. Giving ourselves space and time to feel our feelings, discern our comfort levels, and make space for community or solitude will better serve us. To honor your aura and create environments were we can grow in a sustainable way. Paying attention to our energy and what we need most makes all of our environments healthier and more nurturing. 

How do you guard your energy? What strategies do you employ to help yourself thrive and not feel overwhelmed by other people’s energy? 

Holding Space

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One of the lessons I am learning and re-learning is the imperative nature of self-care. Taking care of ourselves well is our first and primary responsibility. In an active life it is easy to loose track of doing the things that nurture and support ourselves. We fall behind with dental appointments, forget to reschedule a salon visit, and before we realize it we’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and tired by the prospect of tackling all of the responsibilities we have in our lives.

Today instead of writing out strategies to stay ahead or accomplish more – I am holding space for you. Instead of writing a blog for you to read I am giving you back the time you might have used to read this post. I compiled a list that is by no means all encompassing. It is simply a list of suggestions, ideas for self-care that you might not have considered or thought about recently. So, rather than reading something inspirational here – take the time that you typically invest in reading and give yourself the following gifts instead. Do one or maybe three if you’re feeling adventurous. Whatever you choose I hope it serves you, supports you, and makes you feel deeply cared for and appreciated.

  1. Take 5 deep breaths
  2. Call one person who always makes you laugh
  3. Pick up 3 things and put them away
  4. Floss
  5. Take a sip of water
  6. Do 5 circles with your head and then do them in the opposite direction
  7. Turn on your favorite song and have a dance party by yourself
  8. Close your eyes and count to 10
  9. Have a snack
  10. Set a timer and daydream for 5 minutes

These are small practices that serve you. I hope you and enjoy them and know they are here whenever you need a break!

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Social Media Cleanse

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The rain has stopped outside my window and it seems to have dripped green paint onto the weeping willow tree outside. There are suddenly millions of yellow green buds waiting to bloom. Being fully present to witness this moment feels like a gift and one that I have chosen for myself. I like to feel that I am choosing to do whatever activity I am engaged in, particularly social media. This week I wanted to share a little about a social media cleanse I tried. 

Level one is general media hygiene. Regularly clear your follows and determine what accounts are bringing joy and which accounts are simply bringing you down. Anything that leads you to feel inadequate by comparison has to go – we don’t need that negativity in our lives. I’ve written more on general media hygiene practices here.

Level two – back to the cleanse – because just organizing follows is not our only new practice. I’m talking about a full week of conscious and deliberate social media avoidance. The purpose of this exercise is to clear your head and make space for creative ideas to break through. It is an opportunity to reflect and recognize how much time there is in the day when we are not scrolling. 

I scheduled a week to be social media free because as an Artists Way exercise I have found it to be particularly powerful. Cameron calls her abstention a reading cleanse. No reading for pleasure or knowledge beyond what one must do for work or as necessity. That can be different things for different people. The overall purpose is to clear your head of everyone else’s stories so that you can really dig deep into your own creativity. It’s also a quick way to recognize how much time we fill by immersing ourselves in media.

I love the dopamine burst of reels on Instagram, or of finding something beautiful to pin on Pinterest. But when I am loosing too much time or feel like I can’t log off even when it is time to do so, that’s a good cue to spark a cleanse. This time my cleanse was not cold-turkey. I still watched the reels or notes that people sent. I simply logged on, replied to messages and got off. My logic here is that this an opportunity to connect with a real person. It is a moment of relationship building and that is more than simply watching what everyone else is up to and liking or posting a few emojis. 

When we aren’t scrolling or lost in the virtual world of our phones it’s amazing how much we can create. The space gives us room to do something new, unique, and fresh. We want to make space for our true and raw selves to grow and be nurtured. Much like the rain outside painting the weeping willow with spring greens, I want to have room and water to grow and blossom in spring time. We can’t do that if we are constantly being pruned by everyone else’s ideas, endeavors, and news. So even if your break is a day, an hour, or an evening, I hope you are able to create something that’s never been in the world before. I hope you’ll take the time to invest in yourself. 

Let me know how your social media cleanse goes and what new priorities you welcome! And just so you know all was not perfect over here! I was very much tempted to look at my phone more than I care to admit. Instead I cleaned the bathrooms, washed windows, wrote pages in my journal, painted, and spent quality time with my kiddos. Every second of it was worth it because I felt present, engaged, and more alive than I have in a while. I might just take this cleanse for another week’s run and see what happens! 

Making Meaning in an Empty Day

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I write a lot about what to do when there is too much on your plate. Long weeks and heavy work loads seem to be the name of the game lately but every so often the universe gives us the gift of time and space. The trick is not to fill it up – as we are often so tempted to do when we catch a spare moment. The day will pass, time has a way of marching on even when we feel stuck or busy, but we can choose to use our unscheduled time with intention.

Free time is our opportunity to rest, recover, and reflect but so often the way we spend our free time leaves us just as drained and exhausted as if we had worked a full day. Therefore when we find ourselves facing an empty agenda it helps to take a moment to think and set an intention for the day. 

Setting my intention – Do I want to feel energized? Do I need rest? What does my mind, body, heart, spirit ask of me today? These are some excellent questions I use to figure out what I need for myself in the day. This way I don’t loose myself in social media or in a Netflix binge and wonder where the day has gone and why I am so hungry. For instance, today I have noticed our family is a bit on edge and so we took a trip to the library. New books always put us in better moods and having an adventure that doesn’t cost anything but feeds our minds and souls is one wonderful way I take care of my family and myself. 

Eating well – What foods do I like or need to feel nourished? In our house a diet consisting of primarily meatballs and meatball derivatives would satisfy half of our household at all times. For those of us who prefer more variety than just ground meat this includes indulging my cravings for a hearty salad and vegetables. It means making cookies on cold days or preparing soups that we can warm up later in the week for a satisfying non-meatball based dinner. 

Making space for fun – I already talked about watching mindless television and how that can suck my energy without leaving me feeling particularly satisfied but I do want to offer a caveat to that rule. I feel better when I watch something that I love – if I cuddle up to watch any film in the Norah Ephron or Nancy Myers Library, Sabrina, or recently Good Omens by Neil Gaimen – these creative endeavors leave me feeling inspired and engaged. 

When you watch something fulfilling, or write an extra page in a journal, you indulge yourself and give yourself the space to think differently. Activities that allow us to imagine and play leave us more refreshed and alive than had we just vegged out in front of a stressful news program or show that doesn’t particularly interest us. Don’t waste your own time, give yourself the gift of being attentive to your intention and doing something that brings you joy.

Being productive – If you insist on being productive or completing a task give yourself a time limit. I sometimes find when I have a day where nothing needs to be done I fill it with errands – grocery shopping, deep cleaning the stove, or starting a small home renovation project. Don’t fill your day with obligations but if you do need food in the house give yourself a time limit. Take an hour to run to the shops but be sure to honor yourself and your own time and be home to lay out on the couch with a good book and a hot tea. Show up for what you need not just what everyone else wants. 

Quality Time – Quality time can be by yourself or with a friend, partner, child, whomever you like and admire and want to share your time with on this day of nothing. If you’d like to call a friend and catch up or hide in your bed and read both are acceptable and equally valid uses of your time. I have decided to dig out a recipe for fall cookies that my grandmother used to make and I plan to make them with my children this afternoon. It’s not a huge undertaking or a difficult task. There’s sugar involved so we’ll all have fun making snickerdoodle cookies. It will be nice to share a piece of my childhood with my children and celebrate our shared family history together. And then we’ll have cookies for dessert later, which is always a good way to end the day.

Early to bed – Sometimes when I start having fun painting or reading it’s difficult to stop and the day whips away from me more quickly than I realize. Before I know it, it’s 6pm and I need to eat, the house needs to be tidied, and I’ve lost a day – it’s like a good day hang-over. To avoid getting into that situation where instead of savoring and celebrating the end of a good day I regret or beat myself up about how I chose to spend my time I make sure to set the alarm – just a reminder to have a good dinner, share some cookies for dessert, and stick with my regular bedtime routine. I may even add in a face mask or some luxurious treat for myself before bed. Make it sweet and simple and get some good rest so that I can enjoy reflecting on this day of leisure and rest joyfully for the rest of the week and maybe make more time in my schedule for days like this that really nourish and fill me up.