Tag: staying present

Being Where We Are

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Today I am thinking with gratitude about where I am in this moment. This feeling is not about where I’m going or about how far I have come. It is about being fully present exactly where I am right now. How, even if I accomplish nothing else today or even in this life, if all I do is continue on the path I am currently walking, that will be enough. I already am enough. You are already enough.

There’s a lot of convoluted and conflicting messaging out there about how having value or being our, “best selves” includes the pursuit of goals or the manifestation of a dream life. And yes, even here I talk about using those tools if you’re interested growing, learning, or striving for something different for yourself. But I’d like to take a minute to reaffirm the message that all of those decisions and opportunities are optional. They are not necessary for you to be whole or happy. They are not necessary to living a deep and rich life full of meaning and connection. All we ever need is to offer ourselves our own unconditional love – not because we accomplished a goal or reach a particular milestone – but simply for existing.

Even if we do nothing else in life but unconditionally love ourselves and treat ourselves kindly, that is enough. It is more than enough and it is all that is necessary. We are often encouraged to look outside of ourselves to locate our value. Marketing is created to lure us to repair some external feature because then we may we worthy. We are marketed to and sold to – buy this cream to fix this blemish or fault that someone else might judge you for having. Instead, today let’s look inside ourselves and locate our own inner compasses. We don’t owe perfection to anyone. We don’t owe modification to anyone. Nor do we ever have to change ourselves to fit some societally imposed or marketing-imposed version of ourselves that is more palatable or desirable to others. We only need to be honest and true to ourselves.

We are perfect as we are, where we are, right here and right now. What a gift to know that our worth is beyond questioning and that our value comes from within not without. And on that theme we are not without anything, everything we need we already have. You are loved, valued, and perfect exactly as you are right now. We all are and isn’t that magnificent? 

Staying Present: Opossum Invasion

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We’ve been invaded. The double edged sword of living in such close proximity to nature. We love the beautiful trees, the expansive vistas and looking out our windows at nothing but green leaves and sky. But this also means we are right in nature’s lap. The first things our neighbors warned us to watch out for was the wildlife. Our yard is apparently a parade route for foxes, coyotes, and a family of albino opossums – just to name a few. 

This afternoon I took the dog out and walked into the garage when I decided to check on my son’s toys. The door from the house to the garage was not closed tightly and I wondered if he had perhaps left a mess that might inadvertently result in one of his toys being run over or someone tripping. While looking on the far side of the garage I noticed that our blinds had fallen. Then I noticed a face looking back at me. 

A distinctly rodent face that looked too large to be a mouse but was shaped like one. It looked lighter in coloration so either an albino opossum child or a rat. The doleful and kindly eyes lead me to believe it was an opossum but I promptly moved to open the garage to let whatever it was escape – as it was clearly attempting to do through the window.

The garage door is open and I am now reflecting on what items will need to be brought in from the garage – which items I hope and pray have not been nibbled or burrowed in or soiled. Shoes, toys, golf clubs, my hope is that the little invader was only in there for the night and is just hungry and trying to find their way home to their family. Still the idea of some animal in and among my things uninvited makes me squirm. I do not like rodents and least of all rodents in my space and unexpectedly wreaking havoc in my home. Oh, yuck, yuck, yuck. 

I know it is we who are at fault as it must have wandered in while we were outside in the yard. I hope it did not make its own way into the garage as that opens up a whole new crop of items to address. Still if it has, we will deal with it and I am grateful to have learned this lesson so early and in the spring months. I am grateful that it was me who found the intruder and not one of my children who could have been scared or worse yet bitten just because they didn’t know the animal was there and scared it. I’m grateful that we have the ability to send the little beast on its way without harm. I’m grateful that we live in this area and delighted that nature always finds a way. 

I have been searching my lawn night and day these last few weeks hoping to catch a glimpse of a fox, coyote, deer, or opossum and the sweet little darlings brought the show to me. God has a sense of humor. These are the unexpected moments that truly make us feel alive and bring us into the present. There’s nowhere else to be when confronted with a furry faced friend in the dark of a garage. I hope it finds its way home safely. I hope I did not scare it too much with the noise of the garage door and yelling for my partner. I’m grateful for the lesson and will be glad to take it with me as we forge into spring – oh the gifts are many. I’m so glad we’re learning them now. 

What lessons has nature taught you recently? 

Savoring the Good: Five Steps to Staying Present

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Today I want to talk about savoring those moments that are sweetest. Our days and lives are full of beautiful, lush, and lovely moments that we often miss. Our brains are so active and full of energy that they are often rushing to solve a problem rather than enjoy the still and silent moment that is happening right now. We spend so much time looking forward or looking back that we forget to enjoy where we are right now – and now truly is the only time we have. Here are five steps I use to get out of my head and into the present moment – all you need are your five senses and a few minutes. 

Start with a few cleansing breaths – deep ones that fill you up. If you inhale to the count of three and exhale to the count of four that should help. Also, extra points if you exhale a sigh, which vibrates the back of your throat and soothes your limbic system as well.

When you’re ready:

Eyes/ Sight – I look around the space I am in and name five things I see or want to see. I’ll do this exercise as I write so you can follow along and do it yourself with me. I see:

  • blue sky
  • sunlight on the carpet, 
  • trees, 
  • warm yellow walls, and
  • a painting of a tree

Ears/ Sound – List four things you can hear or want to hear.

  • a dog barking
  • an airplane overhead
  • tree leaves rustling, and
  • a bird calling for its mate.

Hands/ Touch – List three things you can feel or want to feel.

  • the gentle keyboard keys under my fingers
  • the slick comfort of my athletic pants, and 
  • soft cushion of the chair I’m sitting on.

Nose/ Smell – List two things you can smell or want to smell.

  • my post-meditation chocolate 
  • a warm fall breeze that smells like change

Mouth/ Taste – List one thing you can taste or want to taste.

  • more chocolate!

And here I am, very much in this room and this time, present and enjoying this moment as it happens. I hope you are too! Feel free to re-arrange the senses and use what works best for you. I hope it helps calm and soothe you. I hope it brings you into the present moment and truly alive in your day. 

Three Steps to Staying Centered

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There’s a lot of frenetic energy out in the world lately. As people rush to obtain vaccines, we’re all eager to travel, and all of us hoping to return to the normalcy of daily life – pre-pandemic. I’m hopeful for a return to normalcy. The comfort of hugging a friend hello. The simple joy of saying, “God Bless You,” rather than thinking, “What fresh hell is this?” Still as we all adjust to a pace that is slightly faster, as more opportunities to spend time together open up, and as the weather blesses us with the warmth and sunshine of spring I am attempting to stay grounded. 

There are a few practices that are giving me comfort as I consider for myself and my family what the future might look like for us. The following simple practices are helping me to balance my desire to get out in the world safely and my need for change, growth, and progress.

Walks – My son and I take daily walks – and sometimes when one of us is angry we’ll go on a walk until we’re ready to talk about it. We take Dr. Brenee Brown’s research into breath work and exercise and apply it to our conflicts. Exercising, getting out into nature, and allowing ourselves to be distracted and embraced by the beauty we find outside.

Meditation – I have had, “meditate daily,” on my new year’s resolution list for five years now, and I never seem to find the time. Lately, I have made it part of my afternoon routine. Walk, lunch, meditate, and write. I use the guided meditations provided by The Mindful Movement, you can find them on YouTube or simply Google a guided meditation for the amount of time you have to work with at the moment. I feel most refreshed after 20 minutes, but any amount will do.

Breath work – Just taking deep breaths. I find my anxiety flares up when I spend too much time staring at screens. This happens with work, my phone, email. Sometimes it seems every screen I see drains something from me. So taking a break to make the bed or clean up the accumulated cups, cords, and clutter that seem to accumulate around my work space – I take a moment to breathe deeply. I’m not religious about it but that simple intentionality helps me to feel grounded and connected to the present moment.

I must say that with these practices I have found myself more present, still, and calm. There’s always something that can rattle us or distract us from who we want to be, what we want to accomplish, and the universe typically finds a way to test our boundaries. It seems to me that when I’m feeling proudest of my progress that is when the universe starts poking, just to see if I’m serious. This week it came in the form of work emails and overtired kiddos not willing to help clean up dishes without a fight. But even as these minor annoyances piled up, as they do at the end of the day, I was able to stay calm, take my main culprit on a walk and work out the challenges together. I know this won’t work every time and there will still be moments where I am not at my finest – but if I can send an email that says, “Wonderful – thank you!” instead of, “Listen here buddy,” I know I’m making progress and staying true to who I am and who I want to be in the world rather than reactive to every curveball that comes my way.

3 Tips for Staying Present and Intentional

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There’s a lot of frenetic energy out in the world lately. As we rush to obtain vaccines, travel, and all of us hoping to return to the normalcy of daily life – pre-pandemic. I’m hopeful for a return to normalcy. The comfort of hugging a friend hello. The simple joy of saying, “God Bless You,” rather than thinking, “What fresh hell is this?” Still as we all adjust to a pace that is slightly faster, as more opportunities to spend time together open up, and as the weather blesses us with the warmth and sunshine of spring I am attempting to stay grounded. 

There are a few practices that are giving me comfort as I consider for myself and my family what the future might look like for us. The following simple practices are helping me to balance my desire to get out in the world safely and my need for calm, comfort, and balance.

Walks – My son and I take daily walks – and sometimes when one of us is angry we’ll go on a walk until we’re ready to talk about it. We take Dr. Brenee Brown’s research into breath work and exercise and apply it to our conflicts. Exercising, getting out into nature, and allowing ourselves to be distracted and embraced by the beauty we find outside.

Meditation – I have had, “meditate daily,” on my new year’s resolution list for five years now and I never seem to find the time. Lately, I have made it part of my afternoon routine. Walk, lunch, meditate, and write. I use the guided meditations provided by The Mindful Movement, you can find them on YouTube or simply Google a guided meditation for the amount of time you have to work with at the moment. I feel most refreshed after 20 minutes, but any amount will do.

Breath work – Just taking deep breaths. I find my anxiety flares up when I spend too much time staring at screens. This happens with work, my phone, email. Sometimes it seems every screen I see drains something from me. So taking a break to make the bed or clean up the accumulated cups, cords, and clutter that seem to accumulate around my work space – I take a moment to breathe deeply. I’m not religious about it but that simple intentionality helps me to feel grounded and connected to the present moment.

I must say that with these practices I have found myself more present, still, and calm.

I continue to be productive but the process of getting there is much more enjoyable and gentle. There’s always something that can rattle us or distract us from who we want to be, what we want to accomplish, and the universe typically finds a way to test our boundaries. It seems to me that when I’m feeling proudest of my progress that is when the universe starts poking, just to see if I’m serious. This week it came in the form of work emails, a simple correction cc’d to the team, a routine process I did the old way not the new way, and overtired kiddos not willing to help clean up dishes without a fight. But even as these minor annoyances piled up, as they do at the end of the day, I was able to stay calm, take my main culprit on a walk and work out our challenges together. I also noticed that with my family, when I take a breath I stop that cycle of anger trickling down to every member of our household we are all better for it.

There will still be moments where I am not at my finest – but if I can send an email that says, “Wonderful – thank you!” instead of, “Listen here buddy,” I know I’m making progress and staying true to who I am and who I want to be in the world rather than reactive to every curveball that comes my way. These practices may not change the world but they will definitely change your day and for since this is the only moment I can live, it changes my world anyway. For me, that’s enough.