Tag: Tradition

Give Yourself the Gift of Joy

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I am feeling peaceful and calm, gently aware of where I am in the world. I am meditating but the impact is less aggressive because I am not going right from meditation to writing. I have also eliminated my little chocolate treat post-meditation and I miss it. I enjoy a gentle reward after I reflect and bless my day with introspection. I have been enjoying this new home so much that I haven’t created much space yet for taking it all in. I have been making choices, organizing bins and objects. Transferring items from old packages into new and refreshing our belongings by eliminating those pieces that do not bring me joy. I mix a little of all theories here – Is an item useful? Is it beautiful? Does it bring me joy? If not, I remove it from my collection. Allowances are made for exercise equipment that is arguably useful but certainly does not bring me any particular joy. 

I also try to remember that holding on to something because it reminds me of someone is not a good reason to keep anything. I once read, “Throwing out a sweater from your grandmother is not throwing out your grandmother,” and that sentiment really resonated with me. Because I have so many possessions that were generously given but hold no real value for me. Obviously family heirlooms are kept or shared with someone else who will appreciate them more than I. Photograph collections are digitized or placed in albums for the next generation. But even I know holding on to images for the images sake does not serve me. If I have an image that brings me joy I save it – but images that meant something to someone else are not mine to hold and I set them free to be recycled or saved by someone else to whom they mean something.

I am also doing something different with this move. I am bringing all of my possessions of a similar category together so that I may see how much of these items I have collected over the years. It’s one thing to have pictures, shoes, or Christmas decorations housed in various closets and storage areas throughout your home – it’s another thing to see the growing pile of family photos take up half of a room. It really puts into perspective how easy and how much stuff we gather as we go and how sometimes it is ok to let these things go. For me, it is seeing the abundance of those possessions that makes the letting go easier. If I can clearly see that I have several cookie sheets, it’s a lot easier to get rid of the rusty ones – even if they were made by a fine manufacturer. 

Seeing all of my stuff together in one place has also given me the freedom to appreciate, compare and contrast. Do I love these table cloths? Or do I only love them for that one event I hosted several years ago that was a ton of fun but I have not used them since? And do I like this glassware or is it out because I don’t want to damage the really nice stuff – in which case, what am I waiting for? I have champagne flutes I absolutely adore. I refuse to take them out in case one of them breaks. Or I am waiting for the right celebration. Well, the special occasion is life. I’m done denying myself simple pleasures and so out go the cheap glasses I never really liked and in come the beautiful and elegant glasses that make me feel fancy and posh. 

I have also ordered stationery for our new home – I have christened our new home with a name. It suits the property and house. I have always wanted a house with a name and I am done waiting for someone else to name it. I love having a home with a title. I’m delighted by stationery and cannot wait to write my grocery lists on customized paper that has our property name at the top. It is a simple pleasure that thrills me and I am finally ready to give myself permission to live freely and as I want. I feel like deep down inside of me my inner child is dancing, singing, and wearing fairy wings and lots of sparkles. 

What a joy to be in a place in my life where I can give myself these simple gifts and pleasures. What a welcome moment to have finally reached, where I can savor and enjoy being alive without penalizing myself. I can make my own life nice without waiting for permission or approval. This knowledge in action is freeing and liberating. How simple it is to be kind to ourselves and how silly it is that we spend so much time denying ourselves the very things that will bring us the most happiness. 

What sweet little gifts have you given yourself lately? Are there any simple pleasures you enjoy that you have been denying yourself? What would happen if you gave yourself that small indulgence?

Thanksgiving with Alice

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Lately I’ve been feeling behind, like I’m chasing something just out of my grasp. A lot of it is COVID and the strange twilight we are all living in that isn’t just time change, political change, or fall – not of the patriarchy this time, autumn. Life is missing the creature comforts of connection, a good friend’s laugh, the simple pleasure of sending your children out into the yard to play and trusting they will be safe, are all riddled with guilt and implications. Our lives are also lacking something to look forward to, the promise of a new and better day.

And that is what is out of my grasp; groundedness, faith, trust, and balance. I’m not rushing to be anywhere and yet feel the ticking of time. Have we quarantined for 14 days? When was our last trip to the store?

This space is intended to create room and reserve attention for peace, hopefulness, and growth. It is designed to be light and optimistic but sitting by the window looking out at naked trees and a grey rainy day I am reminded that dark days and rest are a necessary part of life. For spring to come and flowers to bloom, there must be time to nourish and be at rest. There must be time for rain and cold and stillness. And that is the meaning I’ve been seeking.

This Thanksgiving will be a holiday unlike any I have spent before. From childhood it has been a day of long drives and the refrain, “You can get anything you want, excepting Alice, at Alice’s Restaurant,” inexplicably playing on the car radio annually despite my never hearing this song any other time of year or in any other place. It is a time for crowded tables, family gossip, and dinner twice in one day – usually.

Tomorrow will begin a new tradition something quieter, a day of stillness instead of movement. A day of familiar songs, maybe Pandora will find Alice’s Restaurant magically tomorrow too, I’ll put on a Thanksgiving playlist and see what happens. Instead of chasing after anything or anyone just beyond my grasp, I will be holding dear the people in my family unit and truly listen to their words, the pillars of my home and my life celebrated exactly where I always find them, surrounding our dinner table.