Tag: transition

Confirmation Letter

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I recently wrote a confirmation letter to my cousin on a transformative rite of passage. These words were intended to lift her up, bring her through a difficult time, and embrace herself and her own path. I hoped to welcome the transformations that life was bringing to her. I wanted these words to land gently and hoped that they might inspire her to listen to herself and find her own way. It is with that same hope I offer them to you. I hope they fill your cup and serve as a confirmation letter of what you already know to be true.

Congratulations, I am so proud of you! I know you are ready. Choosing to become an adult carries great responsibility. You are deciding to take ownership to care for yourself and for others. You are choosing to listen to your heart and follow where it leads. 

Listening to the small voice inside yourself is difficult – it can be especially hard when that voice is shouted over by social media, friends, and entertainment. To listen to your inner wisdom takes courage and quiet. Finding that quiet place of power within yourself so that you can follow your inner longing is what will lead you on your journey. You have done so much work to get to this place and I know that you are prepared to take this next step. I am sure that the universe will lead you to exactly where you are meant to be in the world and in life. Look at how far you’ve come already!

Being a teenager is a tricky time in every young person’s life. You’re learning to be the woman you will become and are beginning to carry the little girl you were in your heart. Protect that little girl. She worked hard to get you to exactly where you are right now. She braved tough times and has made you the person you are today. A lot of times we think negatively about ourselves in the past. We feel embarrassed or ashamed of our mistakes and choices. Sometimes we think we could or should have done things differently. It’s important to remember that all of those rough patches and challenges made you who you are today. They will give you the strength and wisdom to get you to where you’re going tomorrow. 

Never let anyone treat you in anyway that you would not want for that little girl. As an adult your job will be to take care of your inner child, protect her, nurture and nourish her, and let her play. Having fun only sometimes is not an option. I want you to be joyful, happy, and to laugh every day! I want you to feel the rain like magic, and I want your heart to sing. There is so much joy I wish for you. 

Where you are right now is temporary and as we go through life I think that is one of the most important things to remember. When things are hard – it’s temporary, you’ll get through it. And when they’re really good – it’s temporary so savor and enjoy it. Don’t let anything or anyone keep you from celebrating and living life as your fullest and most authentic self. 

I love the brave, bold, sparkling, and imaginative young woman you already are – I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of that little girl who always fought fiercely for herself and others. That radiant person who knew what she needed and went for it bravely. It has been my honor to watch you grow and develop into the person you are today. While we haven’t always spent as much time together as we might have liked it always fills my heart to hear you are thriving and to know that no matter what difficulties you may face you meet them with courage, consistency, and kindness. 

Being a kiddo is tough work – you’re doing all of the same things adults are doing, you’re just doing it all for the first time and with a lot less experience to rely on. It is not easy to learn everything. That’s why childhood takes so long – there’s a lot to figure out. And while lots of kiddos aspire to be grown up – I’ll hope you’ll cherish these moments because they are fleeting like a sunset and temporary too.

This moment is holy and so are you. Pay attention to where your inner wisdom is guiding you. I know that your curiosity and excitement will serve you well in life. I hope that some of what I have said helps and serves you on your journey. Please know how deeply loved you are and how grateful I am that you are mine.

This is kind-of a graduation, now isn’t it? A new beginning. I want you to know that even though you will now be an adult I am always here to listen and help you in any way I can. I’m so proud of you. Congratulations! I cannot wait to see where this next step takes you. I know this is not the last graduation, rite, or incredible blossoming I will celebrate for you. But it feels like a beautiful gift and honor to share these thoughts with you now. I am holding you in my heart today and always. 

An Unexpected Exercise in Letting Go

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Today the house photographer came to take pictures of our home, he did a lovely job. Since we moved into this house it has not been this clean. We scoured every surface, emptied every bin, drawer, puzzle, and verified contents. We donated clothing and shoes. We purged and polished, organized and eliminated. We have been up late every night this week preparing for this moment. To be honest, clean houses are totally overrated. Yes, it’s lovely to feel like I live in a hotel, to walk into the bathroom and see nothing but soap on the counter. But this space no longer feels like my home and really, isn’t that a deeper meaning?

We’re preparing to share this space with the world, to sell it to the next family in need of a home. People who are not us but will fill the same cupboards and shelves with their belongings. People who will love this home and make it their own. That is what this exercise is designed to do, to remove the personal and create a blank slate where another family can see themselves living, laughing, and coming together. 

It feels good to be done but this is the beginning of the cleansing, not just the surfaces and floors but the beginning of this home no longer being ours. We are moving toward our new home and towards what is to come, shedding our skin and stepping away from this home and the lives we have built together here. 

When this ritual is all done and this space is ready for a new family to love, learn, and grow we will gone. We get to take the friendships we have made with our neighbors. We get to build something new and different. All of these are bittersweet gifts as the ease of, “I made too much dinner, please eat with us,” and unscheduled playdates that last until bedtime will no longer be part of our routine.

This home was a cozy cocoon that held us safe all through new parenthood, grief, resurrection, and the pandemic. It has given us more than we knew we needed. It taught us how to be good neighbors, the value of a good play structure, walking trails, and the beauty of a garden. It has given us everything we needed to thrive and we have been nourished and nurtured within its walls, climbing them like ivy until we found there were no more walls to cover, no more updates to make, and we are ready for wilder wider spaces.

I am so grateful for this home and its gifts. I am grateful for the people we have known, the first steps and parties, the blowout fights and crying fits, all of those moments have brought us to where we are right now and I am truly grateful that this space has been so patient and generous with us. We could not imagine where we are now when we began our journey of homeownership so I won’t project where we will be in the next ten years. I will only say that I am grateful, fortunate, and so humbled by all we have been given so far.